The Top

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Role model

By Ryan - 12/07/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I met my dad for first time in 22 years. He smoked a joint with me, showed me his plants, and gave me a bag of mushrooms. Every time I try and believe I'm not trash, the universe tells me different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 207

Payback

By Stupid stupid stupid - 30/01/2026 22:00

Today, I bumped into a guy I bullied for years at a bar. He was actually cool and laughed about it, but my stupid drunk ass kept urging him to hit me because I felt bad about it. We went outside and he thrashed me. At least we're friends now, I guess… FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 664

By zcollins - 10/09/2013 15:52 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, my mother informed me that we are no longer taking my graduation trip to New York. Instead, she and her group of continuously drunk friends are going to Vegas because, "We could win the jackpot and take you on an even bigger trip to New York!" She's never won anything in her whole life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 396

You deserved it 3 595

Backwards

By twilight zone - 10/09/2020 02:02 - United States

Today, I was actually criticized for giving my kids scientific answers to their questions, instead of dumb downed fairytales. Gotta love the public school system, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 177

Idiot

By Father of a moron - 04/02/2026 09:00

Today, I got a call from my son's school. He was in the nurse office puking. I picked him up and the dumbass said he'd eaten one of those stupid "WORLD'S HOTTEST SNACK" things and it made him sick. Idiot. No sympathy whatsoever from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 111

Nope, no thanks

By Anonymous - 17/07/2024 12:00 - United States - Arlington Heights

Today, my boyfriend's mom is talking shit about me to anyone who will listen, all because I refused to stay at her house and help her with a few chores she said she would pay me for. She keeps leaving out the part where I saw dozens of bed bugs not even 5 minutes after I got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 108

Brain freeze

By Anonymous - 06/02/2026 15:00

Today, after I spent 3 days preparing for a presentation and practiced it at home. It was my turn in class, but my laptop wouldn’t connect to the projector. The teacher said, “Just explain without slides,” which erased my entire brain. I stared at my classmates in silence before blurting out, “The slides explain it better than I can.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 101

It's all about control

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 12:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, my parents said they were cutting me off for saving a kitten's life and wanting to keep it. I am 40 years-old and don't get any money from them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 70

Carded

By Anonymous - 09/02/2026 03:00

Today, I bought an expansion to a card game, only to compare the card backs and realize I've owned a fake copy of the card game for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 103

Butt stuff

By Anonymous - 27/02/2023 12:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, I found a strange brown ball while emptying my husband's underwear from the dryer, more like a marble-sized pellet. It was exactly what it sounds like: a ball of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 107

It's the way I tell 'em

By Anonymous - 21/07/2024 09:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I got stuck in an elevator with my boss and two other coworkers. To lighten the mood, I tried telling a joke. I forgot the punchline halfway through and ended up awkwardly trailing off. We still had 20 minutes to go before maintenance rescued us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 244

Karma delivers

By Anonymous - 11/02/2026 03:00

Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 406

Riiiiiiiight

By Liar liar plants for hire - 23/07/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to see his ex, who is still friends with him, at her house to comfort her because her mom died. I found out after doing some Facebook stalking that her mom is very much alive. I called him on the phone to call him out on his lie. He responded that he meant her “stepmother” not biological mother. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 140

Judge Judy over here

By How are we related? - 15/02/2026 20:00

Today, I met my cousin for the first time in years. She's 19, but she's already engaged to a guy EIGHT YEARS OLDER than her, and they're planning to get married this spring. She said she's excited to have kids soon. She's throwing away her youth to be a fucking Handmaid. This poor girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 535

Deviant Art

By Chae - 18/02/2026 09:00

Today, I got a request to draw a sexual art of a fictional character. Obviously, because that’s my job, I spent five hours doing it. I gave it to the person and it turns out it was a creepy guy I know and he tried to flirt with me by saying, “You are much hotter than her,… Girl.” I’m non-binary and only sleep with girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 197

Impressive

By Anonymous - 09/03/2023 22:00

Today, I tried to show off my basketball skills to a cute girl at the park. I went up for a dunk and ended up getting stuck in the net, hanging upside down while everyone laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 1 031

Scheduled pain in the ass

By Anonymous - 29/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was bounced between four different pharmacies before I could find one that would take my insurance. Apparently, which insurance I had didn't matter as much as to where it came from. Also, one of the pharmacies was on their lunch break. They end their lunch break at 2pm; we came in at 1:58pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 130

Delete! Delete!

By Anonymous - 20/02/2026 09:00

Today, my husband and I made a sex tape because I thought it sounded fun. After we watched it, I learned I have the ugliest orgasm face I've ever seen. Now I don't want sex ever again because all I can think about is how stupid I look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 281

Exclusive

By FlawedHuman - 15/03/2023 22:00 - United States - Waconia

Today, the guy I had to let go because he told me he didn’t “want a relationship or anything serious” started becoming exclusive with someone else. This is the fourth guy this has happened with. What’s wrong with me? Why am I not good enough to date? FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 203

Dinner time

By JJ84 - 31/07/2024 12:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was having a romantic dinner at home with my girlfriend. Everything was perfect—candles, wine, the whole shebang. As we sat down, I felt something moving under the table. I thought it was her playing footsie. Nope, it was our cat with a very live, very tetchy mouse he'd just caught. Cue the screaming and wine spilling everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 112

So close…

By Anonymous - 22/02/2026 09:00

Today, my wife and I had to cancel our family vacation to the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas that we had planned for almost two years and spent thousands on, because our son tripped over his suitcase and dislocated his ankle as we were leaving to go to the airport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 72

Don't cheat

By Anonymous - 04/08/2024 12:00 - Canada

Today, I finally met the guy I've been getting to know online in person for a date. When we saw each other, we both realized that we had heavily Facetuned our profile pictures. The awkward silence that followed was the longest five minutes of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 959

Knackered

By Anonymous - 01/03/2026 20:00

Today, I realized I'm so tired of cleaning houses all day to come home to a dirty house that I don't have the energy to clean. I need to hire my own cleaning lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 62

Overcome

By Anonymous - 08/08/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I had to dress up as the school mascot for a big game. The costume was incredibly hot, and I ended up fainting on the field. When I came to, I was surrounded by worried kids and my head was in the lap of the opposing team's mascot, who was trying to give me CPR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 102

Cruise away

By Anonymous - 03/03/2026 12:00

Today, my mom booked my family a $250 spot for a dinner cruise. I'm a type 1 diabetic in diabetic ketoacidosis. I told her that I needed to go to the hospital as this could kill me. Her response? "WHAT ABOUT THE $250 I PAID FOR THE CRUISE?!" I guess she cares more about the money than the fact I might die. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 82

Get a load of this chud

By eric - 11/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, I learned that the girl I liked who rejected me last week also has an OnlyFans Account. Yes, I dodged a bullet. However, she let me down with, "I'm celibate and taking a break from men." Then detailed why she would love to stay friends with me. Even girls who sell themselves want nothing to do with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 598

The proposal

By Anonymous - 05/03/2026 20:00

Today, I proposed to my boyfriend. He laughed at me and said that proposing is a man's job, not a woman's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 163

The Pope thinks you're selfish

By Anonymous - 16/01/2022 23:01

Today, as part of my job, I had to watch a few 5 year-olds while their parents were busy with my manager. It only confirmed my choice to never have children, and yet my mother still insists I should have one, because once they exist and I love them, I’ll see how silly my choice to not have them is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 179

Alternative medicine is bull

By Anonymous - 13/10/2020 23:01

Today, when my neighbor came over to ask about a serious rash her child had, she totally passed by me, the EMT/firefighter, to ask the hippy pastry chef what she thought of it, and if she had oils to "cure" it. So much for my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 221

Age gap

By YoungBlood - 16/08/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that when my mum had introduced me to her boyfriend, it was right before his birthday, so she'd rounded his age up. For two years I thought he was seven and a half years older than me, when really he's actually six and a half years older. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 377

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The Top

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 019

You deserved it 3 870

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 813

You deserved it 9 851

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Facebook. I don't even have Facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 502

You deserved it 3 393

Today, my boyfriend told me I should finish school early and get a job so we can get married, because then he'll have enough money to buy the truck he's had his eyes on for our whole relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 504

You deserved it 4 005

Today, I was fired from the babysitting job I've had for 2 years. I thought maybe the mother had found out that I sometimes let her kids stay up late and have extra sweets. The real reason, as she told me, was that she didn't want her kids loving anyone more than they love her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 028

You deserved it 3 580

Today, I was told what a bitch I am for turning down “the nice guy” after he surprised me with flowers and a hand painted portrait. He conveniently left out the part where he texted me multiple creepy porn links, doesn’t brush his teeth and has the personal hygiene of a farm animal! FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 161

You deserved it 415