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Vindictive self report

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 00:00

Today, it's been a few months since I spent about three weeks in a relationship with a woman at work, who then left me to get back with her ex-husband. For some reason she reported us both to HR for our inappropriate relationship. My future at this company now rests on a meeting I have this afternoon with HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 281

Never? Never ever?

By Blue balls forever - 08/12/2025 20:00

Today, I tried to talk to my wife about our lack of sex lately. Apparently, her therapist told her that her high libido and eagerness to experiment came from her early childhood issues, so now she's working through her trauma and will never want sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 58

Climax

By Hungry - 09/12/2025 00:00

Today, my husband managed to make Chipotle's beef barbacoa recipe perfectly in our kitchen. I couldn't stop eating, it tasted so good. Then I realized this is the most pleasure he's brought me in the six years we've been together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 162

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 07/12/2025 09:00

Today, I realised I have no friends circle to call my own, no motivation to conquer the day, and no confidence to put my life back together, all because I failed the test that could get me closer to my dream job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 116

Buzzed

By Head Cold - 07/12/2025 12:00

Today, after I watched my girlfriend get her head shaved in preparation for chemo a few days ago, I took the clippers and buzzed my long, well kept hair, gave her a loving hug, reminding her that, "We're at this together." She later broke up with me because I, pretty much, "look like shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 105

Misophonia

By Blech - 07/12/2025 15:00

Today, I was supervising a training exercise at work, where everyone had to wear microphones. One guy was congested and I got to hear six hours of sniffling, snorting, coughing, throat clearing, and mucus blowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 66

Room by room

By Anonymous - 09/12/2025 09:00

Today, we're a family of four moving houses. My husband wants me to copy each room and move it to the new house, paste it there. Literally. He doesn't understand why it's impossible with kids to have the bedroom at one house and bathroom at another. According to him, we can fully finish this move in four days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 91

Try new things, you never know…

By Chelsea - 07/12/2025 20:00

Today, as this is the real world, I accept that my guy likes me partly for my fit (and I think nice) body, so I accept him saying the one thing nicer than my body is me nude with another woman. So his B-day gift was me and a mutual lady friend in some joint nude pics. However, I do mind these pics turning me on more than my guy does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 176

Stalking the past

By Cringe - 09/12/2025 15:00

Today, I was going down nostalgia road on Instagram at 2 a.m when I accidentally liked a photo on my ex’s account from seven years ago. I panicked, unliked it, locked my phone, and threw it across the bed like it was possessed. I still haven’t unclenched because I don't know if he'll see it or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 362

Sir, this is a Wendy's

By Anonymous - 11/12/2025 09:00

Today, I've been waiting nearly three days for my Amazon delivery order. I knew that Christmas orders were going to swamp Amazon, so I bought two gift cards and a CD that my mom specifically wanted ahead of time. I purchased them on the 4th to be safe. It's now the 10th, I've been charged, but no sign of my order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 180

You've got this

By Winning - 07/12/2025 22:00

Today, I practiced a presentation in the work toilet mirror. When it was time to present, I accidentally repeated my “mirror pep talk” out loud: “You are powerful. You are unstoppable.” My coworkers stared like I was summoning spirits before a spreadsheet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 317

Decorum and etiquette

By Anonymous - 11/12/2025 12:00

Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 292

Thanks, asshole

By God dammit - 06/12/2025 20:00

Today, the new guy at my workplace was on his phone so much that he has become solely responsible for a new rule: no one is allowed to have their phone on their person, except on breaks. So, I guess that if my severely disabled mom ever has an emergency at home, she'll have to fend for herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 70

Simply having a wonderful Xmas time!

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 09:00

Today, I came home and told my husband that I got my own Christmas present so he would have something to give me at the family gathering. He asked me if it was wrapped. I said it was. He said, "Nice." No follow up questions at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 96

Save the Roland Jupiter-8, save the world

By Sara - 12/12/2025 09:00

Today, I was setting up my keyboard when the stand came loose. The keyboard started to fall, so I tried to save it, held it up in the air, and ended up falling off the stool onto the floor. I’ll feel that tomorrow, but at least the keyboard survived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Give us both pain meds, please

By It hurts - 08/12/2025 22:00

Today, I took my dog to the vet. Wanting to seem like a responsible owner, I lifted him onto the exam table. My back then cracked loudly, I dropped him, and he ran straight into a trash can. The vet sighed and asked, “Rough day for both of you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 92

Confused

By I…… - 10/12/2025 20:00

Today, I ran into someone at a party I thought was a coworker and started talking to them about the company we work for. He listened to me for a bit, then said, “I think you think I’m someone else.” I apologized to this total stranger, walked away, and spent the rest of the party avoiding him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 125

Twerking is for special occasions

By Anonymous - 05/12/2025 15:00

Today, I literally had to say the words, “Please stop twerking” to my niece. She’s seven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 66

Not now, Mon!

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 22:00

Today, I tried to show my boss a funny photo on my phone. As I handed it over, a notification popped up from my mom that said, “Did you finally meet a nice boy or are you still feral?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 76

WAKEY WAKEY

By mindy - 11/12/2025 03:00

Today, I set my phone alarm to play a calm piano song so I’d wake up peacefully. Instead, Bluetooth connected to the speaker in my roommate’s room and blasted my alarm at full volume at 6 a.m. for both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 243

Classic

By Anonymous - 09/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early by slowly backing my chair away from the table. One wheel got stuck, the chair flipped, and I took the loudest fall of my life in total silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 296

Good luck with that, Carol

By Tired Barista - 08/12/2025 00:00

Today, this lady came in my Starbucks and once again asked if we have the glass teddy bear cup. That cup has been sold out for the past month or so. We explained, once again, that the cup was a “while supplies last” item. She screamed at us and threatened to sue if we “ruin her daughter’s Christmas.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 66

Casual

By Carrie - 08/12/2025 03:00

Today, I attempted a casual jog in my neighborhood. Halfway through, my shoelace snapped, and I tripped, skidding across someone’s lawn. The homeowner rushed out, not to help, but to ask why I was “attacking” their grass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 76

No more phone calls for today

By Jim - 09/12/2025 22:00

Today, I blurted out “Love you, bye!” at the end of a professional phone call. There was a long pause before he replied, “Uh… thank you for your help?” My coworkers heard everything. I'm now scared of my work phone ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 221

I ate being proved right

By Anonymous - 06/12/2025 12:00

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years cheated on me with his ''sister-like friend." It's the girl I was always worried about, and half our arguments were about her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 74

Bull

By Bull no more - 11/12/2025 20:00

Today, I'm the "bull" of a cuckolding relationship. Well, not anymore: I got the usual "come over" text and went over, only for the husband to come after me with a crowbar, yelling that his wife treats him like dirt because of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 88

Let's call the whole thing off

By Foreshadowing - 10/12/2025 03:00

Today, I told a customer to “Enjoy your food” as I handed him his receipt instead of his meal. He replied, “You too.” We both froze in silence for a few seconds before he slowly took the bag and walked away in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 106

Life on the North Pole

By Late for work (at least I had an excuse) - 11/12/2025 22:00

Today, after a snowstorm, I went to start my car early in the morning for work. The door was frozen solid, so I had to jimmy it open with a screwdriver. Then, as I started to drive off, my foot slipped off the clutch and the car stalled out. The battery was too weak to start it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 36

Downloading

By Always less important than video games - 12/12/2025 00:00

Today, when I got home, the apartment was clean for once. I gasped in surprise, and my boyfriend came out of the bathroom, carried me to the bedroom, and brutally ravished me. Afterwards, I asked him what brought this on. "Well, I bought a new game and it took forever to download..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 109

I hate my life

By Anonymous - 08/12/2025 15:00

Today, during a presentation, I gestured too dramatically and launched my pen across the room. It bounced off the projector screen, hit my boss’s coffee cup, and splattered it across the conference table. Everyone froze while I jokingly apologized to the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 247

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 362

You deserved it 54 901

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after 3 years. Why, do you ask? Turns out her dad used to bully my dad in highschool and my dad kicked his ass after all this time and sent him to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 105

Today, I got written up for “making a big show” of being exhausted at work. I was trying to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 154

Today, I went to my Homecoming dance. I had a great time until some fat girl kept trying to dance with my date, even though he politely asked her to stop. I decided to intervene. I found myself pinned to the floor by a fat girl crushing on my date, who was cheering her on as she tackled me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 94

Today, I saw one of my employees sipping from a beer bottle at work. I marched to his desk, snatched the bottle, and said, "Drinking on the job? You're fired. Get out." I then looked at the bottle. It was kombucha. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 766

Today, my friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Technology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 699

You deserved it 70 970