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Intense humming

By Anonymous - 02/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Houston

Today, while using a public bathroom, I was singing to myself because I thought I was alone and not in a rush. When I opened the door, three people were waiting in line. One of them rushed in behind me, another seemed really annoyed, and the third person said, "I love that song!", confirming that they heard everything FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 546

Clowned around, found out

By Anonymous - 03/02/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, while on a first date, we ran into a street performer dressed as a clown. I have a phobia of clowns, so I froze in place for a solid 30 seconds before moving away as fast as I could. She spent the rest of the date looking at me oddly, then afterwards said we weren’t going to work out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 218

Quickie

By Anonymous - 11/02/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 174

If I could turn back time…

By Anonymous - 15/02/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I got caught checking out my porn collection while working. The embarrassment is compounded by the fact that I work from home, and I only flashed the folder on screen, but it was enough for coworkers to notice and now call me "King Dong". FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 722

New tech

By Anonymous - 05/09/2025 15:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I spent five minutes trying to figure out how to use a new machine at my gym. I finally gave up, muttered, “Screw this thing,” and walked away. A staff member came over, tapped the “ON” button, and the whole thing lit up. He’d been watching the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 341

Whatnot etc.

By Fucked - 07/09/2025 15:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I started my new shift schedule. They run on the policy: "Early is on time, on time is late." My shift starts at 6 in the morning. It's now 11pm and my wife called me a selfish bastard for asking her to get off Whatnot so I can sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 56

Keep your chill

By Anonymous - 09/09/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I was at the self-checkout scanning groceries quickly. I swiped an item so aggressively that it flew out of my hand, hit another customer’s basket, and knocked over a display of onions. I pretended it wasn’t me, but the onions gave me away by rolling directly to my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 456

Goddamn sky rats

By Anonymous - 11/09/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought a fancy salad for lunch and went to eat it in the park. A strong gust of wind flipped the lid off and launched half the salad into my lap. As I jumped up to shake it off, I slipped on a stray tomato slice, fell backward onto the grass, and watched as a seagull swooped in to eat my croutons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 108

Cool moves, dude

By Anonymous - 14/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I caught a falling jar in the kitchen with one hand and I felt like an action hero. In celebrating, I yelled, “Did you see that?!” The jar then slipped out of my hand, smashed onto the floor, and splattered sauce all over me. My roommate flipped me the finger and left me to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 311

Game on!

By Anonymous - 13/03/2024 21:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that when you have a banker and rental property manager for a dad, and a recently graduated business major for a boyfriend, the absolute worst thing you can do at family dinner night is suggest playing Monopoly. It was four hours of carnage I don’t think I can recover from FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 134

Kinda gross

By Anonymous - 21/09/2025 09:00

Today, while stripping the bed, I noticed black dots on my husband's side of the mattress, and only on his side. That’s when I realised it was mould, because he doesn’t like to towel dry, he likes to let the fan dry him while he’s lying on the bed wet and warm, perfect for mould. Idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 84

Grief and lies

By Anonymous - 21/03/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I attended my boyfriend's funeral. His entire family never accepted me and hadn’t spoken to him in 4 years. I had to listen to his brother give the eulogy, and every word out of his mouth about my boyfriend was a lie. They barely knew him, yet I could only sit in the back of the church, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 94

Oh no…

By Nervous - 02/10/2025 22:00

Today, a woman told me she liked my shoes. My social anxiety peaked so I panicked and said, “You too!” She wasn’t wearing shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 146

Time don't heal nothing

By Anonymous - 16/05/2020 17:00

Today, I was sitting in my garden with my younger sister when she told me that she'd found pictures of me from a decade ago. She also told me that I've changed a lot over the years, because back then I was still pretty. My neighbours overheard it and started laughing out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 855

You deserved it 217

Bad timing

By Trashed - 04/10/2025 22:00

Today, I'm getting ready to move and so I woke up early to get a bunch of trash to put out. For months our pickup has been so late, it usually happens the next day. Today they came at 6:30 AM, while I was in the bathroom. Nothing was put out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 163

Jaws

By Anonymous - 17/05/2020 05:00 - Australia

Today, I was violently sick. There was so much vomit forcing itself out that I dislocated my jaw. I continued throwing up with a dislocated jaw for an hour or so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 282

You deserved it 172

Mean streets

By fouchi - 10/04/2024 16:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was driving when a couple flipped the bird on me before cutting me off, so I flipped them off back. After they'd got away, another driver thought I'd actually been flipping him off and followed me into a parking lot. This guy was huge, and let’s just say he didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 362

Feline logic

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 06:00 - Germany

Today, it’s 3 a.m. and my cat is shredding the padded door of her box, wanting to get out. I would be sympathetic if not for the fact that she has a perfectly good cat flap on the other side of that box, so she can go outside whenever she wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 149

Cat owners can relate

By Anonymous - 26/10/2025 03:00

Today, I sleepily sprang out of bed to battle a determined off-brand rattly Roomba for the right to clear up a large puddle of cat barf. Guess who won… FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 273

Sick of it

By Anonymous - 23/04/2024 16:00 - Spain

Today, the best moment of my day is when I wake up because I need to use the bathroom, then afterwards look at the clock to see that there's only a couple of hours before I have to get up for good and face another day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 119

Discreet

By Anonymous - 01/11/2025 15:00

Today, I tried to quietly tell my friend that our professor's pants' fly was down. Unfortunately, I underestimated how quiet the room would go. The entire class heard me whisper, “His dick’s gonna pop out!” The professor looked down, zipped up, and said, “Thank you, but… dream on.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 501

Tearjerkers

By Embarrassed girl - 08/11/2025 15:00

Today, I met my new neighbor while taking out the trash. Trying to be friendly, I said, “Hey, I think we share a wall!” He replied, “Yeah, I know. I can hear every time you cry while listening to Sufjan Stevens.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 203

OK then…

By Anonymous - 16/11/2025 00:00

Today, in a grocery store, the cashier asked if we found everything OK. Before I could answer, my kid said, “Mom says the shop smells like poor people.” I don’t even remember saying that, but judging by the cashier’s face it must be a family business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 442

Toxic workplace

By Fuck off Jim - 20/11/2025 09:00

Today, my boss wrote me up for drinking Kombucha at work, swearing it was "fancy Asian beer." I went to HR with the bottle and they dismissed the write up, since they saw sense and realized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 70

Inflation

By Anonymous - 12/05/2024 16:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, my need for medication that increases bruising collided with my need for major oral surgery. I look like a chipmunk who lost a fight. Just in time for Mother’s Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 89

Lucky escape

By Anonymous - 27/11/2025 12:00

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and another couple. We saw a black bear. I shrieked and peed, while the other guy stepped forward and yelled, "Get outta here!" To my surprise, it ran away. My girlfriend is so ashamed of me that she's refusing to share a tent. I'm sleeping in my truck bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 466

Neat freak

By Carrie - 01/12/2025 15:00

Today, I cleaned my car for the first time in ages and proudly showed my friend how spotless it was. Right then, a gust of wind blew a huge mess of shit straight inside as I opened the door. She said, “Nature disagrees.” Shards of leaves and other bits of crap were everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 88

Good luck with that, Carol

By Tired Barista - 08/12/2025 00:00

Today, this lady came in my Starbucks and once again asked if we have the glass teddy bear cup. That cup has been sold out for the past month or so. We explained, once again, that the cup was a “while supplies last” item. She screamed at us and threatened to sue if we “ruin her daughter’s Christmas.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 77

Windy Williams

By June - 01/06/2024 00:00 - United States - Flower Mound

Today, I woke up at 4AM to the sound of lightning hitting a tree in my backyard, then that tree proceeding to hit my house. Later, my neighbor's tree fell over, which hit our fence, and they're not even home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 89

Slander

By Some people just suck! - 15/12/2025 12:00

Today, at work, I overheard two of my coworkers talking about how "creepy" and "ugly" I am, and that I look like I'd be the kind of guy to sneak into someone's house and "have my way" with them. Boy, did that sure help with my self-esteem issues. I'm going to go and report them, but still. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 107

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The Top

Today, I've had so many family members die in the past 4 years, I now think of which pictures would look good at people's funerals when I look through photo albums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 980

You deserved it 668

Today, I had to work a double shift after my relief called in "sick" just so he could go to a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 910

You deserved it 2 565

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, I kissed my husband as passionately as I could. After, he looked at me and said, "You taste like Chinese food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 903

You deserved it 5 202

Today, I said thanks to a man who got up for me in the bus. He angrily said "no, not you!". The old lady who sat down is now staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 210

You deserved it 7 993

Today, I learned that I've married into a family that talks to movie characters as they’re doing stuff in the movie. Good luck hearing the dialogue now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 154

Today, I had a nightmare in which I murdered a store employee because the store wasn’t selling the item I wanted. I would never do that in real life, and now I feel extremely guilty for how I acted in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 200