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Coping

By Anonymous - 23/06/2023 18:00

Today, I realized how self-absorbed my mother is when she came to visit, and was so upset at my sibling over a non-issue that she didn't notice I was high so I wouldn't have to remember anything she said. I was hoping for a healthier relationship with my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 272

Get on with it!

By Anonymous - 05/05/2022 02:00

Today, for our third date, we watched a romantic movie at my house. The sex scene got me all hot and bothered, so I started holding his hand, massaging his thigh, and even fondling his dick, but when I turned to pounce on him right then and there, the bastard was asleep from boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 204

You deserved it 471

Desperate times

By jeana - 25/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was so desperate to pee that I used the only bathroom in the convenience store I was in, which was “Employees Only.” Well, the door got stuck and I had to get an employee to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 343

Brake check

By Suzie - 03/07/2026 15:00 - Australia

Today, I was taking my driving test and everything was going perfectly. As I pulled back into the testing center, I smiled because I knew I'd passed. Then I got out of the car without pulling the handbrake. The examiner had to jump back in and hit the brakes before it rolled into an actual parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 400

One night in Wetherspoons

By Joe Smooth - 06/12/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I tried to impress a girl in a bar with a magic trick. Instead of pulling a coin from behind her ear, I accidentally flicked her glasses straight into her pint of lager. She was far from impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 563

Not having a good time, really

By Anonymous - 01/02/2021 02:00

Today, I not only woke up with yet another splitting headache, but I stubbed my toe and my desktop kept crashing. That wouldn't be too terrible if it wasn't the second day in a row of bad luck, which previously involved someone stealing my card info and buying gamer keys with it the day after I got paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 110

What's that noise?

By Yogi - 09/12/2024 12:00 - Switzerland - Basel

Today, I was relaxing in my dark, silent living room when I started hearing creepy, repeated sounds. It took me a while to realize those were the chickpeas I had left to swell up overnight in a glass container on the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 120

Never look at the DMs

By Anonymous - 14/12/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went onto my fiance's phone because I was seeing if a message was important enough go wake him up for. It wasn't important, but when I unlocked his phone, Facebook was already open with his female best friend's chat. He pretty much admitted to her that he still has feelings and that she's a better mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 180

Happy birthday to me

By lukey101 - 19/07/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, it’s my birthday. My boss treated me to a day off work, except my mother called at 12:01am drunk as hell screaming, “Happy birthday” down the phone. When I finally fell back asleep, I awoke to my boss asking me to come in after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 129

Strangely specific gripe

By Anonymous - 30/12/2024 00:00 - Lithuania

Today, I saw some of my parents' recent social media posts. They spent the holidays at the five star Radisson Blu hotel on Gran Canaria for a week, while I'm homeless in Moscow, struggling with bad shoes and improper clothes. I don't deserve the FML as I wasn't responsible for what caused my situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 267

By Anonymous - 09/06/2019 12:41

Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 871

You deserved it 108

The price is right

By Kevin - 06/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I wore my new shoes to work, feeling confident. Halfway through the day, I found out that I'd forgotten to remove a giant price sticker on the left sole. My boss pointed it out during a meeting, as I crossed my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 348

Old habits die rock hard

By Anonymous - 12/01/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my parents having sex, which was embarrassing enough, but not only have they been divorced for 16 years, they are both married to other people, my stepmother and stepfather, who are both lovely people and don’t deserve to be cheated on by my horrible parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 133

Been there, done that

By lukey101 - 14/08/2023 10:00 - Australia

Today, I finally got home after driving solo for 4 full days across Australia. I left my house keys where I started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 258

My type of dude

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, I realized I have a type: a man who is highly intelligent to begin with, but then either decides to apply his IQ exclusively to theoretical thinking and not real life, or who purposely dulls his wits to the point where you can hardly even have a conversation any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 221

Classic move

By Anonymous - 25/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I was on a date and tried to act seductive and mysterious by slowly sipping my drink while making eye contact with him. I misjudged the straw’s length and location and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 546

Ouch, ouch, ouch

By Teh_Moo_fml - 13/03/2021 00:30

Today, I learned that you can actually sprain your groin for real. It hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 140

Yodelling

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 04:00

Today, I found out that I can only sing well when I'm absolutely certain that no one can hear me. On the rare occasion that people can actually hear me, they always say I "sound just like Elvis." Unfortunately, when I try to sing in front of other people, I sound more like a teenage boy who just started puberty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 164

Intruder alert!

By Pain - 06/02/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I had a dream where I was fighting a robber who had broken into my house. I was throwing a lot of kicks in the dream, and this apparently resulted in me kicking my feet in real life as well. I figured this out when my cat started attacking my feet, abruptly waking me up at 2AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 147

Highly relatable

By Alexa, play "Lazy" by Deep Purple - 07/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I woke up and did the same thing I do at the start of every day: lie in my bed and stare up at the ceiling for who knows how long, all while contemplating how little I've accomplished in my life. Depression sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 138

Charming

By lordoftheweird - 31/05/2022 14:00 - Canada - Ladysmith

Today, I realized my coworker can't comprehend English, or any other language. When I mentioned this to a coworker, they accused me of being an ableist. This is the same person who insults him to his face, knowing he can't understand her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 111

Nervous Nelly

By Anonyme - 15/02/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to a job interview and, trying to sound confident, I shook the interviewer’s hand and said, "Nice to meet me." I didn’t get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 207

That one annoying friend

By Anonymous - 07/09/2023 06:00 - Brazil - Sao Jose do Rio Preto

Today, I went to an old boyfriend's birthday party. An annoying friend suggested that we should try dating again. We were both with our new partners, who were standing nearby when she said that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 161

Quit staring

By Insomniac - 15/06/2022 00:00

Today, I was written up at work for "leering at my boss". I'm so sorry for having my eyes sore due to lack of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 134

That one special feeling

By Chris - 23/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I went to a job interview, and halfway through my perfectly rehearsed answers, my stomach started growling loudly. I tried to keep calm, but then it let out the most embarrassing noise I’ve ever heard. The interviewer paused what he was saying, then said, "Are you hungry or do you need to fart?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 102

By Anonymous - 28/08/2015 05:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 331

You deserved it 2 603

Notice me, please

By Anonymous - 26/02/2025 09:00 - Australia

Today, three people commented on my new haircut. The one I got about two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 145

Wind? Thief? Hit and run?

By Where is My Tree? - 28/02/2025 12:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I woke up and found that the tree in my front yard was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 47

Landmine

By Anonymous - 03/04/2021 00:30

Today, my sister told everyone she doesn't get mad at people anymore, and just accepts it. Today is also the day she folded laundry and threw my clothes around my room. Still not mad, just passive aggressive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 129

A night to remember

By Anonymous - 14/03/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, I planned to propose to my girlfriend in front of her family at dinner. I had the ring ready and got down on one knee. She immediately burst into laughter and said, "Are you kidding?" The family stared in silence, and I quickly realised she was just teasing me... until I stood up and knocked over an entire table of drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 131

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 374

You deserved it 2 241

Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 285

You deserved it 10 198

Today, everyone at work was demanding I stage a party at my house. I agreed to it and rushed home to tidy up before the guests arrived. No one showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 525

You deserved it 3 869

Today, I dropped my keys in the drain. Thankfully, my new flat mate generously offered his help to reach the keys via flower pot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 343

You deserved it 4 588

Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 279

Today, I was busy writing my English final paper and all of a sudden my computer just chose to freeze. I thought Microsoft Word would save it, but alas, 4 pages down the dumpster. Plus my earphones stopped working and I can't afford to buy a new pair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 194