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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Bigfoot

    By Anonymous - 28/05/2024 00:00

    Today, after my daughter had a cast on her broken leg for 14 weeks, she got it removed this morning. She was bawling her eyes out because she never realised her leg hair would keep growing under the plaster; 14 weeks worth of growth. She didn’t cry this much back when she broke the leg. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 508
    You deserved it 97
    Share  

    Ironic, isn't it?

    By Sleepless - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

    Today, after countless nights of no sleep and only some spontaneous naps, I was finally seeing a sleeping doctor to analyze the problem. I missed the appointment because I ended up sleeping through my alarm after not being able to sleep at all last night. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 15 830
    You deserved it 1 283
    Share  

    Bodyscan

    By Anonymous - 25/05/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Normanton

    Today, my mother-in-law had concealed in her suitcase a kitchen knife and plastic bags of MSG, salt, and other seasonings (AKA unidentified white powder) because she doesn’t trust foreign food, and wanted to cook her own food on holiday. Airport security were not amused and we missed our flight. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 547
    You deserved it 113
    Share  

    Later…

    By Anonymous - 23/05/2024 00:00 - United States - Lafayette

    Today, after three weeks of calling the office and telling them how much she needed it, my mom's doctor finally agreed to give her an oxygen tank. She died last night. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 869
    You deserved it 101
    Share  

    Outta control

    By brother - 22/05/2024 06:00 - United States - San Diego

    Today, I had to have a serious talk with my little sister about trying to hook up with my friends. Married or not. She just turned 18 but I’m hoping this was the first and last time. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 478
    You deserved it 94
    Share  

    How? Why? What?

    By Anonymous - 21/05/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my lawnmower found the dart that my kids lost from my dartboard set last week. It found it as my husband was mowing the grass and flung it at about 60 miles an hour point first into my kneecap. It won’t come out, so I’m sat in an overcrowded ER on a Friday night with a 3 hour wait time. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 587
    You deserved it 111
    Share  

    Time wasted

    By Anonymous - 16/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Harrow

    Today, my new manager, who I have spent the last three months training, had a managers' meeting and now won't be returning. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 348
    You deserved it 69
    Share  

    Beater

    By Anonymous - 14/05/2024 06:00 - United States

    Today, I bought a used car from a private dealer my parents had recommended. On my way home they called to tell me that their car broke down. They bought it last week from the same guy. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 501
    You deserved it 80
    Share  

    Nitwit

    By Anonymous - 13/05/2024 22:00 - Mexico - Mexico City

    Today, I accidentally started a fire in my apartment's bathroom while I was high. Last night my girlfriend and I had a chat about how she can't trust me 100%. I feel like an absolute idiot and she's rightfully upset with me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 89
    You deserved it 944
    Share  

    Happy mother

    By Anonymous - 13/05/2024 12:00 - United States - Seattle

    Today, instead of getting ready for Mother’s Day weekend, I’m recovering from emergency surgery. Last year my kid gave me COVID for Mother’s Day. The year before, my whole family forgot. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 528
    You deserved it 125
    Share  

    So long…

    By Anonymous - 11/05/2024 00:00 - United States

    Today, I'm depressed because my long-time dentist, who I've had for nearly two decades, is retiring and I'm having my last appointment with him. It's also depressing that one of my only meaningful relationships is with my dentist. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 446
    You deserved it 150
    Share  

    I don't want to fade out

    By Anonymous - 10/05/2024 14:00

    Today, my dad died recently and as I was going through photos of his bucket list trip to Paris, I realised I’m not in a single damn one of the photos. Why? Because during all the big photo moments, I was the stupid bastard taking the pictures. Now I have no photos of us together on his last trip. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 563
    You deserved it 137
    Share  

    OCD FML

    By ObsessivelyObsessed - 10/05/2024 12:00 - Ireland - Waterford

    Today, I have finally accepted that OCD has won after almost 17 years. It’s taken every bit of enjoyment I have out of life from me, from work, to relationships, even to TV shows and food! Every time I try to reclaim something, it doesn’t last long before my brain wins and ruins it with negative associations. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 445
    You deserved it 119
    Share  

    Classic case of the Mondays

    By Anonymous - 06/05/2024 20:00 - United States

    Today, I took the bus after work. When I got to the remote parking lot, I realized my car had been stolen so I called the police to report it. When they came to take a statement and asked me when was the last time I saw my car was, I replied, “This morning, when I drove it to wo… Oh.” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 191
    You deserved it 624
    Share  

    This charming man

    By NoAlibi - 06/05/2024 12:00 - United States

    Today, I learned that it’s unwise to ask my cheating boyfriend, “What does she have that I don’t?” I was reduced to tears when he told me every single detail this new girl has that makes her so amazing. Now I’m researching plastic surgery and tummy tuck websites. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 636
    You deserved it 344
    Share  

    Another mystery

    By Anonymous - 05/05/2024 15:00 - Switzerland

    Today, I had a lovely day, right up until the moment I got home, went to change my pad, and realised that sometime in the last two hours, somewhere between the library and this moment, my pad had somehow… fallen out. So somewhere out there my bloody pad is… just there. What if someone saw? FML
    I agree, your life sucks 528
    You deserved it 124
    Share  

    Out of the blue

    By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 12:00 - United States - Oxford

    Today, on my last day of vacation with my family, and after moving my kid back home after their college graduation, I received a text message from my supervisor that said, “Hello, your services are no longer needed" and that they would pack up my desk and mail it to me. I can’t get anyone to explain why or even answer me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 578
    You deserved it 98
    Share  

    It was fun while it lasted

    By Anonymous - 29/04/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I found out that my toxic mother-in-law's retirement plans include moving in with us when she gets old. The death glares I’m getting from my wife right now are so worth the satisfaction I got from telling that evil old bat I’d burn the house down first before I let her move into it with us. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 689
    You deserved it 114
    Share  

    Weekend at Bernie's

    By Anonymous - 26/04/2024 06:00 - United States

    Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 399
    You deserved it 94
    Share  

    Bon appétit

    By StijnDescamps - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

    Today, for the very first time, I invited my girlfriend's parents for dinner. I bought a pre-made oven dish, just to be sure nothing could go wrong. Once at the table, her mother asked pointedly who forgot to remove the plastic foil before putting it in the oven. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 859
    You deserved it 2 581
    Share  

    Thanks Taylor

    By Anonymous - 24/04/2024 20:00 - United States - Westhampton Beach

    Today, I listened to Taylor Swift’s new album. I’m a life long Swiftie. I also had a baby last year. Her name is Aimee. One of the lyrics in Taylor’s new song is “F**ck you, Aimee.” Now I can’t listen to this album with my daughter. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 178
    You deserved it 547
    Share  

    You are always on my mind

    By Me. - 23/04/2024 09:00 - United States

    Today, it's been almost five years since the cat I grew up with passed away. I STILL have dreams where she's alive and well, only to be utterly crushed when I wake up and realize it's just that: a dream. I also have dreams like this with my grandma, who died last year. I guess I'll never get over them. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 507
    You deserved it 115
    Share  

    This is your brain under capitalism

    By dean - 23/04/2024 00:00 - United States

    Today, I'm an ectomorph who struggles to gain, let alone maintain weight. Our politicians made food so much more expensive in the last three years, I can no longer afford a consistent amount of protein and to fill my fridge with vegetables. I can barely afford to make balanced meals. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 440
    You deserved it 164
    Share  

    Scam artist's dream job

    By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 09:00

    Today, our company got hacked. Our secretary fell for someone badly impersonating the head of customer service and sent them a full list of employee information from one of our new clients. The boss wants to blame us in IT for not training her on how to avoid this. He fell for a phishing attack last week. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 545
    You deserved it 128
    Share  

    The sweet smell of…

    By Anonymous - 14/04/2024 20:00 - United States - San Diego

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, my coworker and I greeted each other with fist-bumps as usual. He said, "Damn bro, someone got some pussy last night." I asked what he was talking about and he stated my hands smelled "fishy". This morning I threw out some fish in my fridge and even the strongest degreaser doesn't complete the job. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 455
    You deserved it 150
    Share  

    Splatter analysis

    By Anonymous - 14/04/2024 14:00 - United States - Pataskala

    Today, after I wore a pad last night, I woke up this morning, took off my underwear to use the bathroom, and a huge period glob flew hit the rug and splattered everywhere. The globs got on every piece if clothing I wore. I then had to clean what looked like a crime scene. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 552
    You deserved it 145
    Share  

    Fingered

    By Anonymous - 14/04/2024 06:00 - United States

    Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 538
    You deserved it 117
    Share  

    The whole tooth

    By Anonymous - 13/04/2024 00:00 - United States - Lafayette

    Today, I finally started feeling better after getting a tooth pulled last week. I also started something else: my period, while I was stuck in the dentist's chair during my follow-up appointment. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 451
    You deserved it 90
    Share  

    Unfair!

    By sean - 10/04/2024 06:00 - United States

    Today, I got a warning at work for wearing my ear studs. Not only have I worn them the whole time for the last year I was here, I was unaware of this “rule.” I also was just told that the female employees are allowed to wear them, but men are not. “It looks unprofessional.” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 539
    You deserved it 155
    Share  

    Objectification

    By Jo… - 07/04/2024 20:00 - South Africa - Paarl

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I love my boyfriend very much don’t get me wrong, but we’re both still young and I don't want sex yet. I thought we were on the same page, I think we still are, but last night he attempted to make me horny. He said some dirty things and I'm not into that. I have big boobs, so guys hit on me a lot, but I thought he was different. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 448
    You deserved it 578
    Share  
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    Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 52 426
    You deserved it 3 683
    Today, my parents have kept their bet going about not turning the heat on all season. I woke up this morning to it being the same temperature inside as it was outside. It's snowing out there. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 561
    You deserved it 2 338
    Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 31 328
    You deserved it 9 566
    Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 47 064
    You deserved it 6 848
    Today, I got an invitation in the mail for my dad's third wedding. My first name was misspelled on the envelope. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 52 975
    You deserved it 2 766
    Today, at work, the prizes were given to the employee of the month. They come in to surprise the winner and give prizes. They come over to my cubicle and cover me with silly string. Jokingly, I said: "Do you guys have the wrong cubicle? " They did. The guy in the next cubicle won. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 55 540
    You deserved it 6 719
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