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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Tough crowd

    By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my application for a holiday role at a department store was declined because I was "not as qualified as some other candidates." I worked this exact same job at this exact same store last year. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 421
    You deserved it 94
    Share  

    Fall vibes

    By Frozen - 19/10/2024 14:00 - United States - Steele

    Today, I slept on the couch last night. Not because of an angry significant other, but because my bedroom was absolutely freezing, thanks to the wind. It was like a giant freezer. Even fully cocooning myself in blankets with a sweater on didn't work. I should get a space heater. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 328
    You deserved it 110
    Share  

    Full blast

    By DyingOfShame - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

    Today, I got a text from my boyfriend whilst on the train home from spending the weekend with him at his grandparents' house. It said, "Gran says to tell you that the bin beside the toilet is actually for storing spare shampoos and toothbrushes, so could you not put your tampons in it next time?" FML
    I agree, your life sucks 37 620
    You deserved it 8 612
    Share  

    Was it worth it?

    By Jake - 15/10/2024 16:00 - United States - Glastonbury

    Today, I went to the orthopedist resulting from an incident last Sunday during a baseball game. After crushing a hit into right field, I slid into second base, making it thankfully, toppling over the base. The orthopedist needs a STAT MRI about a possible torn ACL and a possible torn MCL. We also lost 22-1. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 347
    You deserved it 147
    Share  

    Never forget

    By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 14:00 - United States

    Today, the guy I went to prom with way back in 2006 decided to message me out of the blue. He’s now one of those red pill, MGTOW, woman-hater types. He told me all the reasons he’s too good for me, and why I’ll never have a man like him. I’ve spoken to him maybe twice in the last 18 years. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 507
    You deserved it 95
    Share  

    New phone, who dis?

    By Raleigh - 13/10/2024 16:00 - Canada - Sudbury

    Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 398
    You deserved it 135
    Share  

    Spooking cats

    By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

    Today, my cat got his head stuck in the handle of a plastic bag while snooping. Unfortunately, it was the bag I use to put his turds in after scooping them from the litter tray. With the bag trapped around his neck, he got spooked, then ran around the house, spreading turds from the bag as he fled. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 147
    You deserved it 573
    Share  

    One last thing…

    By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

    Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She came over to see me one last time. We hugged for minutes and cried; it was a touching moment. Just after she left, I realized my wallet that I had on the table beside us was gone. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 41 072
    You deserved it 4 967
    Share  

    Spineless

    By Anonymous - 10/10/2024 22:00 - United States

    Today, I received a text from my boyfriend breaking up with me. Not only was this a bit cowardly but he'd also sent it in a reply to our last interaction on our phones, a group chat with some of our friends, who started commenting with sad face emojis before I had even had the chance to see it. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 474
    You deserved it 80
    Share  

    Fade out

    By Anonymous - 10/10/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, after my dad and I had a real heart to heart and even settled some differences last night, this morning he was back to his grumpy asshole self. He even asked what he did last night, because he was on the new painkiller his doctor prescribed, and couldn’t remember a thing. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 508
    You deserved it 77
    Share  

    Sightseeing

    By Anonymous - 08/10/2024 16:00 - France - Paris

    Today, it's been five days since I finally made it to my dream vacation destination, after months of planning, saving, and dreaming. I got food poisoning within hours of arriving and I've spent the last five days in my hotel room, staring at a toilet. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 503
    You deserved it 86
    Share  

    We meet again

    By Anonymous - 06/10/2024 06:00 - United States

    Today, I saw my old high school crush in a grocery store. I panicked, because the last time I saw her, I was spouting embarrassing teenage incel horseshit at her, so I dodged out of view to look at something. She'd seen me, came over, and found me awkwardly crouched in the vegetable section, staring at a cucumber. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 100
    You deserved it 626
    Share  

    Desperate housewife

    By lamemom - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Fredericton

    Today, my friend saw a stamp on my hand and asked me which club I had gone to last night. I was so desperate to seem cool that I lied, instead of admitting it was actually from a children's play group that I took my kids to. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 37 314
    You deserved it 9 178
    Share  

    Lullaby

    By Anonymous - 04/10/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, and every day for the last ten days, I’ve woken up in the morning and found another new spider somewhere in my room, ten days in a row. I don’t know where the bastards are coming from but I’m seriously considering sleeping in another room, or buying a new house. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 353
    You deserved it 107
    Share  

    Nice try, Sharon

    By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Bremerton

    Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 56 339
    You deserved it 5 517
    Share  

    Thanks for the memories

    By How - 02/10/2024 00:00 - United States

    Today, I was expecting a package from a few days ago, but it still hadn't arrived. As I was going to work, I found it at my grandma's house. Why didn't my grandma tell me, you ask? She died last year. My package was mistakenly delivered to A DEAD PERSON. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 407
    You deserved it 121
    Share  

    Charming

    By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 20:00 - Australia

    Today, I was on a date, everything was charming and fun, so I went in for a kiss. She turned her head at the last second, and I ended up kissing her ear. We both went on to pretend that it didn’t happen, but the silence was deafening. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 382
    You deserved it 119
    Share  

    Make it stop, please

    By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 14:00 - United States

    Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 502
    You deserved it 138
    Share  

    Free labor

    By mannnnn - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff

    Today, I went into work to change a shift I was unable to work. I phoned the first person on the employee sheet and they promptly answer by saying, "You still work here? I thought the manager fired you." I was fired last week and have been showing up for shifts without anybody noticing. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 48 274
    You deserved it 6 222
    Share  

    Sidelined

    By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 12:00 - India

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I was supposed to go on a date with an old friend from college, who has totally turned into a hot MILF after marriage. Of course the date was pre-planned with some steamy sex at my place. However, last night her husband found out about her affair with her neighbour and now she can’t go out. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 138
    You deserved it 905
    Share  

    People just suck

    By What's it to you anyway? - 23/09/2024 16:00 - United States

    Today, I, a 20-year-old man, was ridiculed and called "Granny" for having a coin purse. Said coin purse actually belonged to my late grandma, and she gifted it to me last year when she realized she was going to die soon. She really meant well and I appreciate it, but I wasn't ready for judgmental strangers. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 590
    You deserved it 119
    Share  

    Inferiority complex

    By jakob the small twink - 22/09/2024 22:00 - United States - Fallbrook

    Today, I pulled up to a party/house rave. I was told there were a decent amount of women there. I guess they'd all left by the time I arrived. The only girl I saw there was my ex-girlfriend, who left me without a trace last month, dancing with a bunch of guys who were all physically way bigger than me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 373
    You deserved it 179
    Share  

    Bad doggo!

    By Vicky - 22/09/2024 14:00 - Australia

    Today, I came home to find that my dog had destroyed my couch. The worst part? He buried his plastic toy bone inside the wreckage, so he clearly thinks this is his new personal sandbox play pit spot. I'm afraid to get a new couch and put it in the same place. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 341
    You deserved it 148
    Share  

    Thought crime

    By Son of a BITCH - 22/09/2024 06:00 - United States

    Today, while babysitting a 9-year-old boy, I stubbed my toe on a coffee table. I yelled, "SON OF A…" but managed to stop myself before saying the last part. The boy yelled, "You were gonna say bitch! I'm telling mom and dad!" and, despite my desperate attempts to dissuade him, he did just that. Guess who's fired. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 504
    You deserved it 106
    Share  

    Miss you

    By Anonymous - 17/09/2024 20:00 - United States

    Today, I saw a text from my mom asking, “Are you still with that girl from last year? I miss her.” She was talking about my ex. The girl I’m dating now saw the message before I did. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 484
    You deserved it 97
    Share  

    Bystander

    By Chops - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

    Today, I was walking from my office to the place I had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner, I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. When I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 100 375
    You deserved it 4 538
    Share  

    Fuzzy memory

    By Kreen - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff

    Today, I realized that mixing alcohol with my medication causes me to lose my memory. I went to see my favorite band in concert last night and I can't remember a single song they played. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 12 233
    You deserved it 45 008
    Share  

    Leftovers

    By Anonymous - 16/09/2024 09:00 - United States

    Today, I woke up to my cat licking my face. Cute, right? Turns out, she was licking the crumbs off my cheek from last night's pizza party. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 73
    You deserved it 532
    Share  

    Biohazard

    By Ugh - 13/09/2024 20:00 - United States - Richmond

    Today, I watched as my girlfriend washed the last of the dishes with a dishcloth, then used that same dishcloth to wipe down the counters. I now understand why we always have bugs. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 313
    You deserved it 256
    Share  

    There's no I in team, apparently

    By Jessica - 13/09/2024 16:00 - United States - Jacksonville

    Today, a positively glowing online review was left by a client about me recently - listing my first and last name mind you - and my boss wrote back, thanking them for the kind words, then carried on about how awesome my coworker is. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 423
    You deserved it 54
    Share  
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    Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 80 055
    You deserved it 4 560
    Today, I was taking a shower at the gym when hearing a loud popping noise. Surprised and startled, I jumped and slipped, hitting my head against the shower wall that left a small gash. The pop noise was just someone blowing bubbles from their gum. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 25 603
    You deserved it 5 703
    Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 79 808
    You deserved it 6 311
    Today, after having too many projects for end of term, I asked to borrow my sister's paper that she used for the same class last year. After submitting it online, I found the example paper that the teacher handed out. My teacher used my sister's paper from last year as an example for us. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 910
    You deserved it 13 598
    Today, my girlfriend is still mad at me because I got a MINISO cup and she doesn't have one. I was actually given that mug yesterday as a prize for working the extra hours I was forced to do last week without getting paid. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 974
    You deserved it 98
    Today, I told my mom that I’m pregnant. My husband and I live in a cottage on her land, and her actual words were, “Well you better abort it, because you’re not having any baby in my cottage. The piss, shit, and sick will ruin the resale value.” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 667
    You deserved it 197
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