Today, my sister tried to convince me to go to a plastic surgeon, because "Bitchface Syndrome's no joke." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, in thanks for my assistance, a customer recommended me a plastic surgeon who could "really help with that face." FML
Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML
Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML
Delusional
Today, my sister has been going on and on about how sexy her new doctor is. She’s been plotting to fake an illness just to see him again. When I explained that doctors are professionals and even if he were interested it would be unethical for him to say so, she called me a fat, jealous loser. FML
Today, I told my mom I want to get liposuction. She said "Whats the point? Its not like you can get lipo on your face!". FML
Today, I got my sister to pluck my eyebrows. She shaped them wrong, so now I look constantly sad. FML
Picture perfect
Today, I was having lunch with my sister and my mother. While my mom was busy ordering food, my sister said to me, "Look at this!" then contorted her face so that she had a double chin. My mother looked over and said to her, "Stop making fun of your sister!" FML
Assumptions
Today, I went to a plastic surgeon's office with a friend. The doctor walked in and before he could look at the consult papers, he started explaining the liposuction procedure to me. I had to interrupt him and tell him that I was only there for support for my friend's nose job. FML
Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied by saying she's a hair dresser. FML
The Candidate
Today, my sister-in-law announced she would like me to be her surrogate, so that her body doesn't look like a stretched wobbly mess after childbirth. Apparently, I'm a perfect candidate, as "we won't see a difference." FML
Top comments
sarkaar 30
Bitchslap her so hard that she needs a plastic surgeon for her face. And a dentist for her teeth. And a therapist for her Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Welshite 40
Schedule an emergency appointment for her.
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Comments (54)
Welshite 40
Schedule an emergency appointment for her.
chickenlips23 16
Well shes a "Bitchface"..........(Ba....... Bum...Cheee..)
JMichael 26
I can recommend the one I send my sister to!
sarkaar 30
Bitchslap her so hard that she needs a plastic surgeon for her face. And a dentist for her teeth. And a therapist for her Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
tiredteenager 16
Why couldn't I have people like you around when I was getting burned a the time in middle school
15Erik 21
Careful, you might cut yourself with that edge.
iTzSelverZz 14
She must know its serious because she is one
cheeeksss 29
I'd rather look like a bitch than be a bitch.
1dvos_grl3 21
Cause you know, looks are deceiving xD
kmaheynoway 25
You know what they say: "It takes one to know one."
kstephens2326 15
wow and she definitely needs a personality adjustment. .
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Ask which one she went to. That should keep her mouth shut.
RenoTheRhino 30
A bitch personality is no joke either. Let her know that.
chillandfun 12
Maybe you should convince her to go because being "a bitch" is much more worse.
devildog562 33
Your sister seems to be very superficial and you should just be you. Don't let people get you down.
Welshite 40
Like a lot of people, my sibling and I have never gotten along. It's really just hurting and annoying a person as much as possible while still being able to pass it off as a joke if they get called out.
devildog562 33
Oh I completely agree. Obviously in this situation it's hurtful for op and damaging to the relationship. I personally don't care what family says to me, I grew up in a pretty dysfunctional family. Motivation to keep good people around and block out the negativity . Family is always family but you don't have to take shit, or take the low route and bash them worse. To each their own.
tantanpanda 26
She must know from personal experience.
mellajella 14
And you took her seriously?