Today, while walking home with my girlfriend we decided to take a shortcut in the woods. After hearing a huge noise, she pushed me and ran. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend. There's a short cut to my house by jumping a fence but he insisted that we take the long way because, "Girls don't jump fences." To prove him wrong, I jumped the fence. I fell and broke my leg. FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
Today, I was driving home with my girlfriend. As we turned onto our block, she shrieked that our dog was running down the street and into traffic. I jumped out of the moving car and chased him for about a mile, only to give up, go home, and find out it wasn't our dog. FML
Today, while out hiking with my girlfriend, she thought it would be funny to push me down a small hill. It turned out there was a 16 foot drop at the end of it, and now my leg is in a cast. FML
Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML
Today, I went on a hiking date with my significant other. Trying to be adventurous and assertive, I suggested we take a shortcut through the woods. We got hopelessly lost and ended up spending the night in a deserted ranger station. Turns out, my idea of adventure is not quite as romantic as it sounds. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML
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Top comments
gm1beanzz 14
I recommend not taking shortcuts in the woods.
skippydoda 32
Rule #1 of a bear attack: You don't have to be the fastest, just not the slowest.
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Comments (74)
gm1beanzz 14
I recommend not taking shortcuts in the woods.
DerrickJames 33
But that's how all the good stories start!
lexos 16
Why not? Life without adventures is boring.
Rented_eyebrows 18
U mean x girlfriend right ? I joke, I joke, calm your ****
HighasaCloud 46
Why not choose the route that lets you exit the woods as fast as possible? From OP's wording, it sounds like he was already in the woods before he decided to take a shortcut.
tdawg91 17
Wandering through the woods? You're lucky you only got pushed over, last time I saw people wandering through the woods in a movie, they wound up joined at the digestive system!
Chanti_fml 26
Pragmatic girl!
bryce0110 23
She just left you in the dirt? FYL
pyrexicpoet 18
She did you dirty
skippydoda 32
Rule #1 of a bear attack: You don't have to be the fastest, just not the slowest.
PsychoPanda 10
In that case being slow just might save from being mutilated.
97mailo 17
In this case she did have to be the fastest, because there were only 2 of them
falsecut 12
Seems like you need to have a talk with your girlfriend.
wtffml1979 22
So what? You're mad she beat you to it? Man should defend a woman. Unless you both know it's not gonna happen and both retreat. Of course there's some women that have to defend a man.
hannahgrac3 12
This is the most stupid, sexist thing I have ever heard. Please shut up.
YourOpinionSucks 22
#29 you're a dipshit, and I feel like explaining why would just go directly over head.
wtffml1979 22
Really. Then you all are *******. A man should take care of his women if a person or animal comes at them. If you disagree you are a bitch and should run. Yes women are equal yada yada but it's true most men are more powerful and should defend their women. You all are like the rest of america and are afraid to hurt someone's feelings. Same problem with our country.
YourOpinionSucks 22
I'm all for protecting my woman, but when she goes out of her way to make sure I receive harm instead of her, then let's say she will get her equal rights, and equal lefts.
fakedsincerity 32
Me more powerful man, me defend woman from noise in woods. Me drag her back to cave. Oh please. There wasn't even a threat; loud noises happen in the woods, trees fall. Anyways, girl could clearly take care of herself. Chill, we get it, you're a tough manly man.
wtffml1979 22
Your point which isn't what I was trying to make first of all. The point is that a man should protect their girlfriend, wife, female from harm. It's called chivalry. Apparently not many men have these days from what I see. And the women that trash talk are the first ones to slam a man if he didn't protect her. If the role was reversed in this fml then women would be bashing the man for running. Can't have it both ways.
fakedsincerity 32
Actually I'd be pissed off of me and my partner didn't fight the evil imaginary threat together. He would shoot it in the face with our homemade flame thrower whilst I'd run behind it and set a trip wipe so it'd fall over and then we could escape together as equals. Boom.
wtffml1979 22
And now I know your just an idiot.
wtffml1979 22
Oh and I think same sex marriage is a disgrace. It's wrong and shouldn't be allowed. Marriage is a bond between a man and woman. Now let the flood of comments begin 3,2,1.... Carpet munchers and pole puffers
rockninja 21
wrong turn?
Malecent 13
Did you survive?!?! I'm joking, but Fyl anyway :/
TenebrionHZ 5
Hey, look at the bright side! Next time it happens you know what to expect. Counter-attack that selfish human being (didn't wanna call her a bitch).
gosh_mate 30
So very thoughtful haha. But really, people can react impulsively under terror or flight/fight situations.
jenjen2633 17
True, I'm very flightly and would leave my friends in the dust if something scares me. I remember one time I was in a small cave tunnel with a friend and I was in front and she was crawling behind me. Heard a sound that sounded like claws scratching and I hightailed it out of there.
Setareh23 34
Well running away is fine imo, since (as you said) it's instinct. But pushing her bf into dangers way is cowardly, selfish and just plain douchy. F his life.