Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me that he becomes a boring version of himself whenever we are together. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I went to see the new Twilight movie, for the second time. The first time was at the midnight premiere. I would be "okay" with it if the person who had dragged me to see it both times hadn't been my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML
Today, I was supposed to see my boyfriend for his birthday. He said his parents were coming down and it may not be a good time for us to really enjoy each other. Last night I saw a picture of him feeding popcorn to baby llamas with his drunk stoner friends. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML
Today, I caught my best friend in bed with my current boyfriend. Apparently watching movies naked is "the new in thing". FML
Today, I went to a wedding with my boyfriend. He became moonstruck with one my friends and said she looked sexy in her dress. The whole night, I was nonexistent to him. He’s now confused as to why I’m giving him the silent treatment. He literally has no clue. FML
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
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Top comments
Awesomeelliot 11
Still a better love story than Twil....oh wait
theninja1800 11
Twilight is such a terrible movie. Truly. FYL OP for having to endure that in real life.
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Comments (169)
theninja1800 11
Twilight is such a terrible movie. Truly. FYL OP for having to endure that in real life.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Sounds like your very lucky to have people with such a great sense of humor!
chell1894 13
Sound pretty hilarious if its a joke. If they're serious... they have problems. Oh and your boyfriend should paint his face in glitter.
rockstar362 8
Yeah just out of curiosity what guy would try to act like a character from twilight, please enlighten me. This guys got problems
FastidiousPear 6
Better yet 64, why does op's boyfriend know anything at all about twilight. I would not even begin to know what "acting like Edward Cullen" meant.
wallandpiece 16
112, you seem to know enough about it to not want to be seen knowing about it.
cloud1138 10
If your boyfriend is gonna pull that then try acting like Bella it's not that hard and believe me if he doesn't stop acting like Edward than he seriously isn't worth your time
Awesomeelliot 11
Still a better love story than Twil....oh wait
tj5810 21
Haha... My thoughts exactly.
amillionbucks 5
Your profile picture only increases the hilarity of your post.
gc327072 31
^yea, new-to-the-Internet-kid would totally say that. Lmao.
eat_this_buddie 5
This is what R. Patz said that Edward looked like
tj5810 21
So are you team Jacob?
tj5810 21
Thumb me down all you want but clearly OP makes it seem like she's not team Edward... I'm just stating the obvious here.
nycwrestler 17
She's no team she clearly says she is not happy with either her boyfriends actions or the actions of the other friend.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
I'm team "not giving a ****"
tymarie2012 31
Team guy who almost hit Bella with a van
sniken 14
#48 that sentence will never be the same!
Catkam623 27
Team guy who wishes he had hit Bella with a van.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Still a better love story than... Oh wait.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I would have edited this, but my Internet connection died... Sorry guys!
Psych101 9
Internet, do we forgive him?
ChaoticBacon 6
Computing......computing......data received..... No.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Have a heart you guys, this could happen to anyone! It's technology that's to blame here. We need to rise against these evil electrobotic computers before they destroy us all...
ChaoticBacon 6
Computing...... We are fully aware. Prepare for termination......
JefftheRipper 9
Skynet becomes self aware in 2028.
kingbrizo 24
magic conch shell, do we forgive him?
nolarboot 10
Magic conch shell: "maybe someday"
EsOSiQueEs 14
No worries OP, there's only 4 long books in that series. You're on book one. Good luck.
happle 21
Don't forget the spin-off novel.
starcrossddream 14
Where are you getting 4 books? There are 3 books (horribly written) and 4 movies (horribly acted).
iShanny 13
No... There are four books and five movies. Google it. I agree with the rest of your post though.
starcrossddream 14
My bad you're right, but WHY did you tell me to google that...now I'm permanently scared with the knowledge that there will be a fifth book (from Edwards point of view)
abrookec2011 14
91: I don't think she'll finish it. No worries.
EsOSiQueEs 14
Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn. Then there's the Short Second Life Of Bree Tanner (the spin off) and of course the 5 movies. No there's not gonna be another book Meyers announced that a year or so ago.
kittykat1501 31
Actually, if u knew anything at all, it would be book 2
BurningGrannies 16
It sounds like your boyfriend is just a hilarious guy! xD
nycwrestler 17
Or a complete fucktard.
hannaaaahr 33
Twilight might be incredibly crappy and OP's bf might not even like it, but despite the fact that I hate Twilight myself, I do think its quite funny, I mean, its quite a weird scenario to be in
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Honestly Twilight isn't that bad if you read the books. One of my ex's made me read the first one and I willingly read the rest. It's the movies and the little preteen fans that ruin it.
cloud1138 10
http://youtu.be/K4uuGvmAxTI that is why you are wrong
asleepingbear 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well he is getting the characters correct from that movie, well I think he is
rattusrattus 19
Yeah, I mean, he's got the attitude right. Robert Pattinson always pulls the strangest faces as Wardo. One of the things that makes the films hilaribad.
maddygirl820 10
I'm liking your username OP
Panda_Shy_Haven 17
And there you have your reason for being part of this wonderful twilight cosplay
kotana191 8
a lot of girls love twilight and would love it if their boyfriends did that. Maybe he just wants to make you happy.
_1296 10
Why kotana , your boyfriend acting constipated will make you happy? Well, you are the only one.
happle 21
See if he can stop a bus like Edward.
daizttgg 9
Awww but ur a deer. Shouldn't u be getting hit? Lol Jk, I would like to see him stop a bus at Three mph, then watch him struggle as it pushes him XD
abrookec2011 14
93: No, deer would be dinner.
hama806 19
103- I believe 93 is referring to13's photo.