Today, my boyfriend insisted that the dog stay in our bedroom while we had sex. He said it would prove his dominance, and "show the dog who's boss." My boyfriend needs to prove his self-worth to an animal. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
Today, while out for our romantic Valentine's dinner, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years told me that he believes in females being subservient, that I'm not allowed to have opinions anymore, that he is "the alpha dog" and I'm merely the "beta dog", and that I have to "get used to it." FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He says he can’t be with someone who doesn’t love his dog as much as he does. I told him that I have absolutely no problem with the dog being in the room, but it makes me uncomfortable when the dog is on the bed while we have sex. Apparently, that’s unreasonable. FML
Today, I invited my very animal-phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved, so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML
Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML
Today, I was really excited because the guy I was seeing invited me over for sex. His house was messy, but I looked past that. The final straw was he wouldn’t make his dog get off the bed so we could get it on. He actually got offended and told me to leave because, “What? She’s just lying there.” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
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Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
I display dominance over my dog simply by making her roll over so I can rub her belly, but whatever floats your boat.
luismyl 6
When I began reading I thought the dog was going to jump in too. That would have been a worst fml.
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Comments (145)
CheeseDiggity 0
Its like marley and me :D
Keyman1212 14
Rule 34, NO EXCEPTIONS.
Ecklcakes 15
OH GOD NO. Why did you bring that up?
rexgar2000 10
threesome? yeah I know. sick as **** sorry.
Tommananaze6T9 4
Yea hes showin the dog how humans go doggy style ;D
rahavan 15
OP sounds like your boyfriend is a bitch. All pun intended.
ohmandapants 17
91- it's pretty much the same...called "doggy style" for a reason.
graham11 14
Even if this FML was even slightly related to marley and me, why would you include that ":D" at the end of your comment??
CommonSenseKarma 17
Marley and Me in a nutshell: THE DOG DIES. THE END.
LezBiHonest 7
The dog shouldn't have died though....just a buncha shenanigans...
cheerluv15 0
Lol
schpanki 11
Haha, how can he expect you to sleep with him if there is an animal watching?
NOTquiteRAMBO 10
Doggystyle?
nixter5 18
What would've happened if the dog jumped on the bed and clawed his erect penis? That would hurt like a mother...
screamo_neve 12
A mother?
margie2194 12
Mommy issues? Maybe he wasn't hugged enough as a child.
M0rt 0
Margie its "au revoir" ya dumb ****
pokemai 6
Blindfold :)
margie2194 12
Thanks for the correction... "dumb ****" wasn't necessary...
asherb0y 9
Wow... Sikke en kommentar, det var "sjaaaw"
n_epic_fail 14
^^ english please -_-
graham11 14
22- what did your mother do to you as a child? Or are you just afraid to let out explicatives on FML?
longlostgirl 4
Talk about totes awk!!!
margie2194 12
Thanks for the correction. Rather "dumb ****" was not really necessary.
StoryOfTheYear 15
I display dominance over my dog simply by making her roll over so I can rub her belly, but whatever floats your boat.
DeathBunny218 37
so your dog rolls over and enjoys a nice belly rub... are you sure you're the dominant one? :P
luismyl 6
What about the three meals a day?
Buttsexpirate 9
How's he gonna feel when the dog tries to mount him, and makes him it's bitch?
Urbanchiller 0
And the dog show his/her dominience over you by ******** over places and you picking it up. Who is the bitch now?
luismyl 6
When I began reading I thought the dog was going to jump in too. That would have been a worst fml.
BDTony13 0
this is definitely going into my favorites!!
jamsmunoz 0
Only u would think that u 40 y.o. Virgin...
graham11 14
4- if that was the case, I'd immediately shut off my computer. That would be nasty as shit!!
Scarlettx7 0
Your worst if you did it
hockeykyle10 5
Worst? More like best
Karoleer 14
doggystyle!
Ecklcakes 15
**** the dog to teach your boyfriend a lesson in dominance.
Ecklcakes 15
I'm sorry my dog was using the computer and saw I was logged in. Worse than that facebook status...
the_fuck_is_this 2
The **** is wrong with you?
vivaladino 7
Haha that suits your username
goodgirlxgonebad 3
Dude it's funny obviously he was kidding. It's not sick, take a joke
Torva_fml 16
Your boobs look fake^
MikeDa1Da 14
72- nice ****
FozzyBear1234 4
Goodgirl... DANG!!!!!!!!!! Why? With large breasts
nabesh 5
The dog is still under age!!
leogirl95 12
Not in dog years
graham11 14
The dog is probably 60-70 years old in dog years.. Oh shit
xstream 5
like a boss
xbella 8
your boyfriend is a moron, I sure hope you didn't have sex with him. turn off much.
mrssuarez2011 12
Yeah seriously, my husband ushers our dog outta the room saying "that's just too weird, it's like my child watching"
JumbledGirl 2
What a dick