Rewarding

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy
Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML
I agree, your life sucks 79 489
You deserved it 17 501

Top comments

Tell her that the lady down the street will do it for 100 so she had better rethink her bargain.

But wait, by the wife doing that isn't she punishing herself also? if not sex for him then not sex for her, unless..........

Comments

SilenceIsSilver 0

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Tell her that the lady down the street will do it for 100 so she had better rethink her bargain.

Damn op, it only took me 20 points which she let me borrow from you lol.

Women have just the same sexual needs. It's their biggest secret. Don't worry OP! And if she keeps doing this, leave.

hobozrule 4

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Colin466 0

I agree with 12 just take the sex! Did she not say to HAVE and to HOLD, for BETTER or WORSE? Marriage license = Sex license!

But wait, by the wife doing that isn't she punishing herself also? if not sex for him then not sex for her, unless..........

All you have to do is take her out for a nice supper to show her that you still respect her. Just help out some around the house, that's all marriage is about. Just make her think that you care..... if you can fake that your in!

impatientsnake 4

27 & 15 cracked me up fight back op that rediculas

tell her your neighbour is willing to do for a 1000 points. That might make her bring the chase down !

GLiTTeRz 0

#61 I totally agree my boyfriend is a complete slob and I do everything and he still gets treated like a king

# 173 i think i am one of those like you have ! lol

Colin466 - Sex License does NOT equal marital rape. No is still NO! A Sex License means all kinds of good guilt free naughty fun. No limits as long as a good time is being had by all. :) That said...My sympathies to OP. He needs to explore marital (and/or sexual) counseling right away. Either the wife is cheating, OP really sucks in bed or wife feels OP did something to "deserve" this kind of treatment. Whatever the cause, a solution needs to be found and fast.

Actually women can go without sex longer than men, it's proven, so those comments above.. meh.Anyway, whatever the hell ur wife is doing, is dead wrong, whatever you do, just don't go with this shit.

TheDrifter 23

You're all forgetting that we're talking about a woman. If she's denying you sex it's because she gets it better elsewhere. Unless you want to be her and her new boyfriends' maid it's time to bite the bullet and leave. Child support will likely be cheaper than supporting her and her new source of dick, which you're doing now, whether you know it or not.

SilenceIsSilver 0

How about this, just f***ing **********.

how about this.. stfu. you've never seen a dick in your life

skyeyez9 24

yeah, cause marriage is all about "pretending you care about your spouse." Why bother to get married to another if you don't have true feelings for him/her? Don't get married ever, if you think that's a brilliant idea.

SilenceIsSilver 0

Sigh. I was making a reference mr condom face. If that IS your real face.

Kenik 6

Wow = that's depressing... Well don't waste your time on FML and start working!

oh, it is my real face. I'm perfect in gods eyes. he mad me the way he wanted so stfu

let me guess ! Mr. condom face didnt like what you said because if everyone start masterbating then nobody will use him anymore. so he is just being hyper about loosing his importance of existing.

Kenik 6

The = is supposed to have a hyphen but it didn't work...

welandedonthemoo 5

she proly don't care about having sex with the husband. she might have someone else on the side

ZellRyu25 0

that's her way of saying I don't love you enough, or she may just not really like it from you, or she's just a bitch.

SilenceIsSilver 0

252 Yes, that's what happened. He took his anger out on the messenger! I thought he was supposed to be a happy mr condom face:( Then again I'd be mad too if my arch nemesis (mr sock face) became more useful than me.

10 points for every dish, and 20 points for every article of clothing right? that isn't so bad. ;D

token_blackguy 18

thats your own fault #173 guys only do what you let them get away with.

That doesn't make sense 199, you don't perish without sex. Any person can last a lifespan without it.

I would revenge by collecting points and then say that I'm too tired of collecting points and skip reward. :)

you've never had a serious girlfriend, BallsMcLongcock4.

coolboy6 0

10 points for making me a sandwich, 50 points for not leaving the kitchen... you can play tht game too

hit her mom in the face with a bra! thats 50 pts XD

zackyp 0

you're kind of stupid aren't you? people don't need sex. you don't die if you dont have sex so really it just boils down to if you want it bad enough or not. like me I really don't give a crap about it

Azarjan 0

Now if you smack her and tell her this system is retarded do you lose points?

holymolybro 0

No, I have the ******* solution. One piece of clothing per wash. BOO-YAH.

NoraT_fml 6

not if she has a *****. then she can have fun as much as she wants

zadie 6

Roofies: Only if you want it bad enough

gonzaval 0

genius ^ best come back ever.

rkcraig53 0

Simple: setup your own point system: setup points for anything she wants to buy, for instance new shoes: 10.000 points. To earn points: Doing the laundy, dishes, cleaning, between 1 and 5 points. Sex max 100 points. But to be honest, how terrible have you been to let it even get this far?

he may be lazy, but mankind was born lazy. he should help a bit more and if she is going to have a system like this it should be a goal that is reasonable like 200 or 500 not over 2000.

he may be lazy, but mankind was born lazy. he should help a bit more and if she is going to have a system like this it should be a goal that is reasonable like 200 or 500 not over 2000. this will make him more likely to be bothered working for it and it would be a worthwhile reward.

lol at that remark in 3D 7.2 SURROUND SOUND in a theatre near you snoogins

A woman's sex drive is heavily linked to her emotional state...not feeling appreciated, respected, etc. will reduce a woman's sex drive (in addition to other factors like stress and lack of sleep). I don't agree with anyone making a point system for sex, but maybe the OP doesn't help around the house and doesn't make her feel loved and appreciated. That doesn't justify it (two wrongs don't make a right), but the OP probably could have done more in the first place and it never would have come up. Either way, it sucks for both of you to be in a marriage like that. Or maybe she just has a hella low sex drive. Which still sucks for the both of them.

cz_xcr 2

He makes a good point. You'd better do some checking, my friend.

djxtones 0

Ok here are my thoughts: 1) OP, you have obviously either been unsupportive in doing chores around the house or you married a control freak who is never pleased despite your best efforts. If you play COD all day and make her do everything, YDI. If you genuinely try to help and she is the lazy one, you need to confront her and call her out on it. 2) Marriage is not a game. Women should not expect a man to want to be with them if they treat them like little children and act like their mother. Men do not respond well to these tactics, and he will probably take the path of least resistance (The wife's best friend for instance.) 3) Intimacy is a necessary part of a marriage. intimacy can be in the form of sex, but it also includes conversing like adults and bonding. The wife has not only cut out sex, but she has also placed herself over the husband in a motherly role. That is unattractive, immature, demeaning and does not inspire the man to be more emotionally supportive to someone who wants to take away his right to be a man. 4) Even if she is retaliating, she should be aware that she is making it much worse instead of taking a deep breath and just asking him what he thinks he should be responsible for helping out with instead of treating him like a kindergartener. Regardless of whether he is lazy or not, she is in the wrong here and needs to reevaluate her tactics before he starts going outside the marriage to get the intimacy we all crave.

hahhahahha ok bangout. how old are you, 14?

all i can think of is the reason is the man is lazy and do nothing and the wife is sick of it.

Yeh but domestic rape charges tend to come back and kick u in the balls, hard

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A7X_LoVeee 10

I'm thinking she doesn't want to have sex with him.

OP the longer you wait the bigger your load on her face is :)

Jvr91 8

he could just Kobe bryant it

310, someone should Kobe Bryant you. with a chainsaw. to the urethra. 82, naked men are more hilarious than sexy. and I say that as a straight woman.

Have you considered creating a reward syste

One more time: have you considered creating an inverse reward system for her? 25bj's = one $50 shopping trip ect.

sheagstaz 0

this is why some people cheat

ivanoff 0

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kruzito 0

that's exactly what I was thinking.

afallingstar 22

marriage does not mean sex whenever you want it...

kruzito 0

Stfu 68, you aint know nothing about marriage.

Says the person with a profile picture saying "101 ways to torture your husband."

True, marriage doesn't mean sex whenever you want it, but it also doesn't mean you make the person do a ridiculous amount of work for it!

Marriage does indeed not mean that you can have sex whenever you want it, but it also doesn't mean that one partner can forbid sexual intercourse, which is happening to OP. Sex is not the most important thing in the relationship, but it's certainly something that shouldn't be underestimated (or forbidden). My guess is simple: OP's wife doesn't like sex. Otherwise she wouldn't create a 'points reward' system in which they can berely have sex once a month. So, OP, if I were you, I would think about the reasons why your wife is not interested in sex (anymore) instead of complaining on FML. Do you think about her needs? Is she satisfied? Have you tried something new in the last months? Or is it just a boring couple of minutes? Once you have cleared your mind, I can give you a simple solution: seduce and try to pleasure her. After that, talk with her about your and her needs. Improve the (sexual) relationship! Oh, and don't forget to help in the house. You sound lazy.

My guess would be that she's cheating on you, OP

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No one deserves to be cheated on. Cheaters never prosper.

noelykins1 19

hello, you ever think she is damn tired of working around the house and is fruit to say that sex is beneficial. So why does she have to work around the house all day then **** her husband. She is just trying to teach op a lesson. Sex is a privilege. Plus marriage consist of two people who work together not one who does all the work, then has to relieve her husband. I like her idea(:

your right, cheaters don't prosper. but it seems a bit too obvious that OP's wife if making it seemingly impossible for them to have sex, even if he did do the chores over and over again, every day. and I just find it weird that everybody automatically assumes the guy does absolutely nothing. why assume he doesn't work 9-5 everyday? wouldn't that be like me saying "shut up woman. go get a paying job like he did and then complain". like you said, marriage is mutual, he works, she works, they both have sex. what it seems, is that wifey just doesn't wanna have sex with him.

JustinKingr 0

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DarkHelmet 10

that truly is a great idea but it completely sucks for the husband. what he needs to do is figure out what she always needs from him and turn the tables on her.

airball33 0
noelykins1 19

tell her that she gets a dollar for every point she earns, this will only work if you have a job and she stays home. -two points for not complaining -four points for not crying -fifty points for not asking 'do I look fat in this?'

22cute 17

No, he basically has 3 choices: do the chores OR make sex more desirable to his wife OR hire a prostitute. One way or another he going to have to earn it.

Create your own points system for household tasks. Sex equals 12 and 1/2 points. Three ways with her hot friend are 14.9 points. How many for you to do the dishes? One hundred and ninety-three BILLION!!!

wooowww buddy r u ever getting ripped off. ur wife is like an over priced hooker who only takes points. not only is your wife bending u over like she owns u but she also ***** on u in her space time. poor bastard

kruzito 0

this guy has the right idea.

SlapurMoM 2

meh, cheat get STD, give it to her at 2300 points..... or be a man and leave her, why would you be played like that?

semperfi2035 2

thank u man, first person to say leave the bit** !!!

You're going to leave the wife because she actually wants you to get off your lazy ass's and help her around the house for once in your life? That's the one thing that women want, for men to play part in keeping the house clean, and for doing the one thing she wants you to do, you get the one thing you want. Stop complaining. Sex isn't a right, it's a privilege. If I was your wife, I wouldn't be giving it to you at all for saying "leave that bitch." No. Grow up.

459. I don't think he Shud leave her but damn 2300 points when each time u do a chore its only 10points?! they need to get rid of the point system and talk to each other like human beings and figure something out that makes them both happy. if they can't do that then they are wasting each others time.

I understand where she's coming from, but damn. 2300? Get a quickie every other month? If it was 100 I bet he'd be more willing to do chores.

NineFishMffns_fml 0

Sorry, I agree with 459 (: you all are assuming she's cheating or something, I'm assuming he's a lazy bum and probably only wants sex but doesnt do crap, so she's gonna teach him a lesson! .. bet she even paid for that itouch, phone, or computer he is using (;

NineFishMffns_fml 0

definitely agree with that, 2300 is a bit too too much, should probably lower it, by a lot xD that or like that guy said, talk it out :p but hey was a clever idea

I agree, 2300 points is a lot. But she's trying to get her husband to stop being so lazy, and I'm sure once he starts helping, she'll get rid of it.

well I'll agree if he is just lazy then it's his own fault for needing 2300 points for sex.

= Does she not realize that OP is already lazy? He'll just go get some elsewhere....

Ahaha, Now that's one clever wifey you got there!Looks like somebodys not gonna be sexing for a long time..haha

OCDC 9

Indianchick, was that the other account you made on FML to continue talking to yourself? You know, since everyone figured out you like to do that?

ACTUALLY.. She posted things on another comment but then something went wrong so it looked like she was talking to herself. Back off   My best friend.

MyMuse7 0

create a points reward for how much money you give her. 2300 for $5.

exactly! and a pair of shoes is 30000

cptmorgan15 2

Haha. Good idea but too many flaws. She could have a job of her own. If she doesn't, then I'm guessing she does the shopping, which would result in you having no food. Or it could just be an endless chain of point systems until there's nothing else to withhold.

kruzito 0

Or......he could pay her for sex. Right?

0opsie 6

11 - How do you know she doesn't have her own job? The OP is probably around the house more, maybe even unemployed, if his wife got tired of him not helping out.

cptmorgan15 2

Yes 83, he could, if he has no self-respect. 2300 points! That's absurd!

kruzito 0

After the deed is done (sex) who cares about self-respect.

TheDrifter 23

I'd say it's more likely he is always at work an never home to do chores and his lazy slob of a wife is sick of doing them herself.