health

Alexa, play "Don't Give Up" by Peter Gabriel feat. Kate Bush

By Forever Alone - 19/06/2022 18:00

Today, I realized that my YouTube watch history, which is mostly comprised of audio ASMRs dealing with loneliness and other anxiety and depression issues, has turned into one big testament to how utterly lonely I am in the real world, and that I probably will remain like this for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 1 075

No more late night beers

By so this is how today is going to go? - 19/06/2022 04:00

Today, I shit the bed. Like, full on shit. I had to go ahead and throw my clothes away. It made it all the way to the mattress. The worst part, it didn’t even wake me up, my alarm did, so I have no idea how long I was sleeping in my own shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 183

You deserved it 345

What what, in the butt?

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 02:00

Today, our stupid pediatrician gave an anal suppository for our toddler's consistent tummy ache. She is NEVER constipated and passes stools regularly twice a day. Guess who had to hold down a 3-year-old and put in the medicine - which did not help with the tummy ache. I can't live with myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 380

Silver linings?

By blutownie13 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I told my ex-boyfriend I lost 20lbs due to the stress of the break up. His response was, "You're welcome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 948

You deserved it 28 215

Food for thought

By Whatthehell - 18/06/2022 04:00

Today, my girlfriend is mentally unhinged. She had a full on temper tantrum and ranted about healthy eating, and how she’s “fat” and needs to lose 30 pounds, all because I suggested Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. She stormed out of the house. I later ran into her at a local pizza place, devouring a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 176

Gimme the drugs

By Richmond24 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth out. My mom didn't get my prescription for painkillers because she thought I'd get addicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 586

You deserved it 3 845

Not now!

By my body hates me! - 16/06/2022 21:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I were just about to have sex. The last few months have been a shitstorm of stress, personal tragedy, financial crises, and family drama. When we finally got a moment to ourselves, I was struck with a literal shitstorm in the form of agonizing diarrhea. It’s been two hours now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 336

You deserved it 167

Intrusive thoughts

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 14:00

Today, at a BBQ, my boyfriend's friend told us, “Oh, this reminds my of the time I got third degree burns on my dick.” He’s been trying to talk to me, and I keep thinking about it how it must look like Freddie Kruger's. I don’t know what I just agreed to help him with, but I’m sure it will be a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 295

Parting gift

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 02:00

Today, I was diagnosed with Covid. I've been living with my ex for 8 months. They started dating again, and their new partner broke up with them and gave them Covid, then my ex gave it to me. I was supposed to move out, and now I have to delay it further. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 276

Supportive siblings are the best

By Anonymous - 15/06/2022 22:00

Today, my brother celebrated 10 years of denying I exist with a Facebook post celebrating “My departed brother.” I’ve been self-secluded for 10 years with schizophrenia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 164

Scammy family

By scammed - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Phoenix

Today, I found out after spending my life's income on paying for my grandma's cancer treatment that she has been faking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 825

You deserved it 3 702

Scofield scale

By Vlad - 15/06/2022 04:00

Today, I ordered a Pide with extra chilies. They must have understood, "Put all the chilies you have on my Pide." I now know what hellfire tastes like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 770

Shut up and look out

By Bugs - 14/06/2022 04:00

Today, I was hanging out with a friend, and we were on our way to the nearest frozen yogurt place. The second we got out of the car, I immediately complained about how hot and bright it was outside. I was so busy complaining, I didn’t hear my friend telling me to watch out for the curb. I landed face first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 1 472

Is it that rare?

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 00:00

Today, my girlfriend is mad at me. Apparently in her country, not burping after a meal is very rude, and means you think their cooking skill is bad. I get throat gurgles, not burps. I tried to explain, but she thinks I made up a fake condition. It’s not fake, just so rare it’s unheard of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 135

Ralph and Huey

By wookieewhosshe - 12/06/2022 15:00 - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I was on a train when I felt the unsettling urge to vomit. I ran to the toilet, but there was someone in there, with another waiting in the corridor. Out of time, and luck, I projectile-vomited into a bin built into the wall. The man waiting for the toilet looked truly traumatised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 95

Misery likes company

By Destiny Wells Conner - 11/06/2022 18:00

Today, I told my friends that I got a therapist this past week. Every single one of them told me to quit seeing the therapist, and to just talk to them and do more drugs to feel more numb. I don't think that's the right thing to do, and they're actually arguing with me over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 133

Knackered

By Anonymous - 11/06/2022 16:00 - Germany

Today, I'm fit, but so exhausted from work that I hardly managed to even climb the stairs. Yet, as soon as I sit on the couch for longer than half an hour, my butt starts hurting. So I guess it’s either reading a book lying on my stomach, which makes my back hurt, or hanging upside down from the ceiling like a bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 151

Once you pop…

By Anonymous - 11/06/2022 00:00

Today, while I was trying to put on my deodorant, the whole stick popped out when I took the cap off, narrowly missing my face, into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 107

Is it worth all that?

By Anonymous - 09/06/2022 12:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that I might need to get my gallbladder removed, due to the rapid weight loss I've had since having a gastric balloon put in. This is on top of all the nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and cramping so bad it feels like I'm constantly being stabbed. I'm only 2 months in, with another 2 months to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 208

The doctor will see you… soon

By Anonymous - 09/06/2022 10:00

Today, I spent several hours sitting in the ER hyperventilating from pain and passing out, due to a herniated disc in my back. I had to watch at least 5 people go ahead of me, whose only complaints was that their stomach hurt or they felt nauseous. One of these people had a bag of snacks with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 175

Controlling

By Future kept man, going cheap FML - 09/06/2022 04:00

Today, my mom was helping me plan for going to college. After 30 minutes of me getting more upset, and her getting more frustrated, she directed me to Tinder, a wedding venue website, and the local address for Planned Parenthood. Her actual words were, "There's no shame in being a stay at home dad these days." FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 190

Overreaction

By Harley Osborne - 08/06/2022 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I'm recovering from an emergency room visit. I was vomiting, sweating, shaking, crying, and couldn't even speak properly. I was scared of that, and scared of hospitals after a routine surgery nearly killed me two years ago. Most of my family are convinced I was faking all of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 147

Belly bounce

By Somehow fat and flat at once - 08/06/2022 14:00

Today, my mother gave me a dress she'd made for herself at twenty five. I’m seventeen. It fits around the stomach but is gappy all around my butt and boobs. Thank you for reinforcing my theory that I’m somehow both flat and fat at the same time, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 260

Danger to the public

By lordoftheweird - 07/06/2022 07:00 - Canada - Ladysmith

Today, my care home has an employee who so far has ran into traffic, framed a disabled girl, nearly killed two people, and begged me to help her break sex trafficking laws. They refuse to fire her because she has a learning disability and are terrified that she'll sue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 112

The Ministry of Silly Walks

By Anonymous - 07/06/2022 08:00 - Canada

Today, I was crossing the street and did a full on faceplant. The reason? I pinched a nerve in my foot a couple of days ago, and now it’s completely useless. It’s like walking around with a dead foot. I think I’d be better off hopping on one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 132

Nine inch nails

By Anonymous - 07/06/2022 02:00

Today, mere hours after getting my knee out of plaster and walking normally again, I stepped on a giant nail, which went through my shoe and came out of the top of my foot. Surgery on the splintered bone, bandages, and no putting weight on it for at least 2 weeks. Here I go again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 160

Delicious smell

By Delicious - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I found out that the shower sponge I've been using for a while now is the very same sponge my friends used to wipe up my vomit when I was drunk. I have been exfoliating a puked on sponge for more than a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 650

You deserved it 32 595

What happens in Vegas…

By Anonymous - 06/06/2022 14:00

Today, I got a hotel room for myself and 4 friends to have a great night out in town. The couple of the group had a huge argument, ruining the evening, then another friend took of in the middle of the night, and to top it off we all ended up catching Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 340

Internet doctor

By Anonymous - 06/06/2022 02:00 - Switzerland

Today, a patient in the emergency department insisted on needing a treatment, and got mad at me when I told him it was nonsense. His "proof" was a Tik Tok-video he once saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 113

Make it stop

By SpookyOne - 04/06/2022 16:00

Today, the grocery store next door has decided to renovate and put their bottle disposal machine right underneath my bedroom. Once it's full, usually right before closing at 10pm., the machine starts beeping non-stop. I'm already diagnosed with a bunch of sleep disorders, but good night I guess… FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 113

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my cat got outside and had the bright idea to walk in the middle of the road, right as a car was coming. The driver didn't notice him, so I had to sprint over there, leap into the road, and toss my cat to safety. He's fine, aside from being soaked (he landed in a puddle), but I've felt better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 123

Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 926

You deserved it 4 304

Today, I went out to see my uncle on my mom’s side and his family for my mom’s birthday. My oldest cousin insisted that he and his wife give their gift first. It was a stuffed bear, along with the news that they’re expecting their first kid, and making my mom a great-aunt. My gift was a cake she used to make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 94

Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 337

You deserved it 42 388

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 797

You deserved it 9 665

Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 571

You deserved it 5 768