Today, my psycho ex showed up at my doorstep to beg me to take her back, so I pulled my gun on her. I just found out she's pressing charges. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML
Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML
Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend showed up at my new job to, "Keep an eye on me." The same ex-girlfriend who has been stalking me since we broke up. Two years ago. FML
Today, I found out that the woman who I punched in the face after I caught her on my porch snooping through my mail is pressing charges. FML
Today, my teenage son broke into my gun safe, took my gun, and dumped the magazine into the side of his ex-girlfriend's family home. He's completely stunned that he was arrested and charged with attempted murder. My wife blames me and wants a divorce. FML
Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML
Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I got a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three-foot range. FML
Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML
Today, a judge gave my ex custody of my two sons, most of my money, my house, my car, and has ordered me to take anger management classes. We're getting a divorce because she shot me with a gun. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
thefmlman2011 37
Are you sure YOU’RE not the psycho ex?
JasonThorn 24
Any gun owner should know the gun laws of their state up, down and sideways, OP. For example: In Arizona, simply POINTING a firearm at someone, loaded or not, is "endangerment," a Class 6 felony.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (12)
Petit Etre Malfaisant 23
At which point you had a brain rot telling you "it's ok, pull your gun on her"?
BurnInDemonFire 39
No. *******. Shit. Dumbass. She's rational compared to you. Hope you get to meet The Sisters, Andy Dufresne-style.