Today, at work, I saw a van in our car park with "Hurlz Wagon" painted on its side. Laughing, I told the customer who owned it that I loved the name, and I asked was there a funny vomit story behind it. She didn't laugh, and told me it was her family name. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I'd forgotten my phone, I tried to hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
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Top comments
helpfulperson 9
Not your fault, just trying to share a good laugh
center 5
I suppose you could up the ante by asking her if there is a neat vomit story to her family name.
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Comments (78)
StanSmith2013 26
That blows chunks!
wubbazugg 5
Honest misconception.
olpally 33
Need a moment? Grab a twix... Lol
Warden1986 16
You've used that line before. Was funny the first time you used, now it's worn off.. Believe the fml was something with a lady. She was singing and was nude, then walked down to her kitchen and painters were sitting at the table.
olpally 33
You just creeped me out... Thanks... :/
SirEBC 7
39, why did you feel the need to call this guy out for making the same comment twice? Did it really bother you so much that you felt you just HAD to expose his scandalous lies and deception? Please share with me the thought process that led to "Yes. This is a good idea."
Enslaved 38
Prime example of my comment on 44! Thanks guys!
olpally 33
Don't worry... Now you won't hear it from me ever again...
SenselessPattern 12
I've noticed commenters use the same comments before, and while it does make me disappointed at not seeing something new from them, I have not yet commented about my disappointment. Except possibly now....you tricked me....
Warden1986 16
46 Impulse. 45 I did not mean to creep you out. 55 Come off it we both know you have to comment on a fml again. I'm on this app, everyday so. I just so happen to remember his comment. Apologies for having a good memory. Beside you tell me you, ever see something more then ounce or twice, and you're over it? Like when someone comments "first" on fml?
olpally 33
To be honest, I just thumb it down or move on if I see a repeat comment.. I don't go out of my way calling people out on it, I did yesterday, but I've never done it before than... Honestly, I don't care... This is now the 2nd time I've been called out for making original comments, once again, if u don't like it, then thumb it down and stop personally attacking me.
BlackBlazeCobra 16
It sucks when someone has an unfortunate or unusual last name huh? At least it wasn't anything sexual.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Like Harry Wang
PYLrulz 17
Or Dick Trickle
racheljessie 17
Or Lester Mull. I have actually heard of someone with that name!
gracehi 33
My dad once knew a guy named Mr. Bastard. People would try to pronounce his name weird ways, but he'd say, "No, no, no, it's Bastard. Bastard by name, bastard by nature."
kakarot2 11
My music teacher's name was Bates. She has a masters in music. So we called her master. Bates.
lyskiss 10
Like Ben Dover?
pabst4america 1
Bitch wasn't having any of your good natured humor I guess. Honest mistake
ObeyStudKing 4
Lmfao omg to funny.
ElishaisSexy2016 9
No humor??? Shit.. If that was me, I would have busted out laughing. I get that kind of stuff with my last name too and instead of being upset, I laugh with them. :D but I'm a humorous person xD
sheethapins 13
Don't spew over it op.
_krystallynn_ 11
welll thats embarrassing. lol she could have laughed it off.
Enslaved 38
She was probably tired of hearing the same joke after joke about it. Just because the OP found it funny, doesn't mean that Ms. Hurlz must laugh at it too. People here on FML should understand. God forbid anyone make a "shitty situation" joke or the likes, now a day. The mob crew will claw your eyes out because they have heard it before and it's no longer funny. Now imagine hearing that joke for YEARS.