Touch grass

Never forget

Today, I woke up and went down to the park for a walk. I later realized I'd forgotten to bring the house keys with me, so I got stuck waiting until somebody opened the door for me. FML

Today, I walked around town by myself for four hours because I was too ashamed to tell my parents that I have no friends willing to spend time with me. FML

Loitering

Today, I forgot my keys when going out. Now I have to wait at the door for my family, standing in the cold for half an hour. My phone is dying, and neighbors keep giving me pitying looks. It's so awkward. FML

Today, I realized I spend way too much time on the computer. I grabbed the menu at the restaurant, glanced at the page, and tried to do CTRL+F to find seafood. Geek coming through! FML

Today, I walked into work on time, went into my office, sat down and turned on the computer. After working for about 4 hours, my wife called and told me to look at the clock on my computer. I put it off until after lunch, when I realized today is Sunday. FML

Life's a beach

Today, I finally beat depression by going for a walk on the beach. I couldn't contain myself and happily played in waist-deep water as I walked. I realized my keys for my car, mail, house, and work had fallen out of my pockets and into the ocean, never to be seen again. FML

Been there, done that

Today, I finally got home after driving solo for 4 full days across Australia. I left my house keys where I started. FML

Today, it was my first day going to work with new hours where I'm in the office alone for an hour. I managed to lock myself out without my jacket, my phone, and my keys. It was raining. FML

Make a scene

Today, I got pissed and tried to storm out of work, only to get outside and realize I couldn't because I'd let my coworker borrow my car for lunch. FML

Today, I ran out of cash. The nearest ATM to my house is over a half hour away by foot. After walking all the way there under the blistering heat of the sun, I realized I'd left my card back at home. FML