Relatable, Awkward, First Dates and Love: Todd is fine, and you?

Todd is fine, and you?

By blind_date - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the third person. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 916

You deserved it 6 415

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

redbluegreen 40

Sunday 13 September 2009 12:05

Rachel thought this was funny

allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 13 September 2009 12:06

Alan agrees with Rachel, and also just favorited this FML. Alan doesn't believe your life is ******.

Comments

censorshipoff 0

Monday 14 September 2009 7:38

Damnit, all the Jimmy jokes got taken.

awesomeness101 0

Monday 14 September 2009 7:56

Jamie thinks that hilarious.

2005KonaScrapp 0

Monday 14 September 2009 8:19

Thomas doesn't like this fml.

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 15 September 2009 15:07

Rachel suggests you read another story then. (-;

shamaling 0

Monday 14 September 2009 8:56

i think 3rd person is cute personally

kabuki_fml 0

Monday 14 September 2009 9:12

OP- Whoever did that is just hilarious...

LOKIM8 0

Monday 14 September 2009 9:27

lachlan thought this was made of win and thinks you should put out.

buggen 0

Monday 14 September 2009 15:56

Alas Alan, another Alan already anticipated an attack against Alan.

OhgodNeinna 1

Monday 14 September 2009 22:48

Neinna laughs, she loves third person. She thinks this is a win.

elisa_sanchez91 0

Monday 14 September 2009 23:38

Elisa loves this FML! :D

MLSxxox 3

Tuesday 15 September 2009 21:03

marissa thinks this FML is hilarious and just added it to her favourites!!!! :L

Keywords

Work Management Jealousy Love Mental health Relationship advice Relatable Awkward Friends Miscellaneous Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Mother in law Gifts Birthday Family Money Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Argument AITA Fear Insects

The Top

Today, and for weeks now, I was sure my underwear was going missing. I found out why. My husband's brother has been stealing them whenever he visits, presumably to masturbate with. I literally caught him shoving an unwashed pair into his pocket he'd stolen from my laundry pile. Creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 64

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 334

You deserved it 3 581

The Top

Today, I learned it is in fact possible to give birth despite having had no symptoms of pregnancy, including no weight gain. Our daughter made a surprise appearance this morning at 6 lbs exactly, and we are in no way ready. We don’t even have clothes for her. My husband is acting like he’s been concussed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 829

You deserved it 323

Today, I started seeing a therapist for my depression. While I was looking through the magazines in the waiting room, I found an article accusing people who see therapists of being selfish and having no real problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 037

You deserved it 5 688

Today, my best friend jokingly blocked my number until I apply for a job. She is also supposed to be picking me up from the airport, so now I have no way to contact her to tell her what time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 911

You deserved it 1 134

Today, my boyfriend proposed. He said we’d go pick up the ring tomorrow. Then he asked to borrow $40 to get it out of pawn. He pawned it when his ex gave it back to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 235

You deserved it 4 868

Today, I've been off work for 10 days because my Covid test came back void so I had to get tested again. I went back for 3 days, and now I'm Covid positive to have to isolate again. I live by myself and have no pets. I've run out of stuff to watch on Netflix. My only entertainment is my robot vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 196

Today, after I was finally able to afford a house in a nicer area so my kids could go to a better school, I was practically in the house for about 30 seconds before I started getting messages from neighbours, insinuating they don’t appreciate “my sort” and I should, “piss off back to Muslim-land.” I was born in Oxford. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 130