Today, while shopping for clothes, I asked the assistant to recommend something for me. She took me to the maternity section. Thanks, but I'm not pregnant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
Today, I went to Seattle with my mom to visit my pregnant sister, only to end up being dragged to a store to buy maternity clothes. The saleswoman apologized to me repeatedly for not having a lounge for the fathers, but congratulated me on the baby. I'm a girl. FML
Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I went shopping at a thrift store. I found a really cute top that fit me perfectly, so I bought it. Afterwards, I noticed the original tag was still on it. It read: "designed with your pregnancy in mind". It was a maternity top. FML
Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML
Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML
Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML
Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I had to bite the bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML
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Top comments
Dracoboxer357 36
Hmm. Free and honest advice comes in all forms. Perhaps this is a sign? ;p Either way, I imagine that didn't make you feel good about yourself. Sorry Op.
jessonice88 14
Next time, do your own shopping. ;P
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Comments (81)
beaglegal 42
Everyone has a different body shape. Don't be offended OP!
anabuddy123 10
Ouch
ninjuh_wingman 29
This is why you go shopping with friends.
Dracoboxer357 36
....So that they can tell you that you look good in that moo-moo because they don't want to hurt your feelings? ;p May not be the best plan.
perdix 31
I hope you are female. I mean, that would be bad enough, but if you were a dude ... Yikes!
DJisHere11 19
#14 Tell me again, how a guy gets pregnant?
perdix 31
#24, didn't mean to confuse you, young man. A man cannot become pregnant, but if store staff thinks he looks like a pregnant lady, accidental insults from strangers are probably the least of his problems.
wholock 12
#24, although a male cannot become pregnant, they have a small undeveloped uterus within the groin area. If they were to have evolved farther, they would be able to reproduce like females can.
Michael903 18
There is only one time it is appropriate to comment on a woman's pregnancy: when you can see the baby's head
scottyspot 11
That is harsh. I bet you never go back there!
zombiekitten87 12
Well, the SA was pretty stupid to take you to the maternity section... You never assume a woman is pregnant. She should have asked you your size and taken you to the appropriate department.
jasmine2301 25
Atleast she was trying to be nice? haha.
anticulas 12
And you are an idiot...
McPickleStache 10
just be thankful she didn't take you to the men's clothes
EmmaMK 35
She probably felt embarrassed when she realised her mistake. You might have been wearing a baggy top or she might of misheard you.