Miscellaneous: Today, while on my first ever date, I ordered a really hot curry,...

By halfie - 26/09/2015 05:06 - United States - Pigeon Forge

Today, while on my first ever date, I ordered a really hot curry, hoping to impress my date. "Yeah," I said smoothly, "not everyone can handle spicy food." When I took a bite, my eyes watered, my mouth burned, and I had to plead for water in between moaning like a dying baboon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 516

You deserved it 33 445

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Same thing different taste

Impressive, dude

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 15:00

Today, I was on a first date at high-end Indian restaurant. I tried to impress my date by ordering the spiciest dish on the menu, only to find out it was way too hot for me to handle. I ruined the entire meal by coughing, choking, and drinking five gallons of water with tears streaming down my face for at least 40 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 1 931

I'm on fire

By Jyocka - 26/04/2011 22:25 - Canada

Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 285

You deserved it 27 118

By my bravado's gonna kill me one day - 10/08/2018 13:00

Today, as a big fan of spicy food and a huge challenge seeker, I decided to try the hottest burger I could order. Despite being warned by a waitress, I went for it. After eating a third, I had trouble breathing from the spiciness. The waitress was smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 3 873

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 432

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 23:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 6 345

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 244

You deserved it 45 072

Toxic waste

By Anonymous - 02/09/2022 06:00 - Europe

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at a lake. I felt my stomach rumble and knew I couldn’t make it to shore, so I dropped into the water and had violently diarrhea in the water. It started to bubble, and so I started splashing around, saying, “It’s cold” while she swam around me, in my shit water. I’ve never told her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 402

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 11:45 - United States

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 613

You deserved it 30 204

By DMStarsky - 21/10/2011 17:19 - United States

Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 579

You deserved it 4 691

By John_Elvis - 09/04/2016 03:30 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 350

You deserved it 3 505

BeastyMcbeast 19

Sunday 27 September 2015 6:05

I didn't know being able to eat spicy food was something that can be considered impresive.

MonkeeArtz 11

Sunday 27 September 2015 6:05

YDI. Don't bite off more than you can chew just to impress someone.

Comments

gratunka 11

Sunday 27 September 2015 6:29

...moaning like a dying baboon...not sure what that sounds like can you demonstrate?

Destiny8745 29

Sunday 27 September 2015 6:40

God forbid you be yourself on a date ydi.

pleasedie 22

Sunday 27 September 2015 7:03

It only took reading the first sentence to decide YDI

Starlight1029 18

Sunday 27 September 2015 7:08

I really hope you didn't actually drink water. That would just make it worse. Milk is the way to go

pollymo14 13

Sunday 27 September 2015 8:21

Yes milk would be better but water doesn't make it worse

coatl45 11

Sunday 27 September 2015 14:47

Plain bread cuts the heat pretty well. Why we have crackers and rolls with our gumbo back home.

TheNewGuy03 28

Sunday 27 September 2015 17:35

51, you from the N.O.?

coatl45 11

Sunday 27 September 2015 22:06

No, small town in Beauregard parish, close to Lake Charles in the southwest.

TheNewGuy03 28

Wednesday 30 September 2015 21:02

I ask because I'm from New Orleans. Good stuff.

THEDUDE1553566 24

Sunday 27 September 2015 7:15

...since when do girls really care if you like spicy foods? And why would you try to impress her with that? That's so stupid YDI

countryb_cth 38

Sunday 27 September 2015 12:19

I honestly can not figure out why he thought that it would be impressive. I myself can't handle spicy food so if a date did that then the goodnight kiss would go out the window.

Thorzix 23

Sunday 27 September 2015 7:30

Aaaaaaaand yet another FML that makes me click YDI as soon as I see "Hoping to impress" or another sentence of the like.

Drosophila82 18

Sunday 27 September 2015 7:33

Rookie mistake followed by an amateur choice for beverage. Water can't alleviate spicy food, only milk or yogurt... But let me tell you something, the only way for this to have been worth it is if you made her laugh... I'm not talking giggle, I'm saying laugh out loud... If that experience provided comedy I guess you're not out of the game yet...

outfielder55 17

Sunday 27 September 2015 8:37

Ah don't worry. I was driving my first date to dinner and she goes, "Wow this is a really nice truck" and so I said, "Well watch this" and stomped my pedal to the floor and lost traction and spun off the road. Luckily nobody was hurt (and my truck was fine).

XxDanno316xX 27

Monday 28 September 2015 0:36

Wow. Genius.

drrobotnik1 18

Sunday 27 September 2015 8:50

You know who isn't impressed by eating spicy food? Women. Also curry gives you super horrible breath and farts, even if you were man enough to handle it, so even if it'd worked, you would've failed to seal the deal. Next time you do this to yourself, plain white rice, sugar, milk, or yogurt *actually* help calm down your weak-ass white person tongue and not make it worse, like water does.