Health, Covid and Family: Mother knows best - FML

Mother knows best

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 12:01 - United States - Phoenix

Today, while visiting my parents, I observed that I've been able to visit more often because I've avoided getting sick the whole year. My mother responded by reminding me that I need to get my act together if I'm going to lose weight and get healthier. Not the reaction I hoped for, Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 135

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Same thing different taste

Classic Mom moment

By me - 28/06/2013 15:51 - United States

Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 626

You deserved it 4 049

Care and sympathy

By Anonymous - 14/06/2021 12:01 - United States

Today, after taking vacation time to visit her, my mom told me she was glad I was leaving so she could get back to her diet. I'm prediabetic and have been trying to manage the condition. She ordered dessert at every meal and was the only one in the family who did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 107

By caly - 12/11/2018 16:32 - United States

Today, while at my mom’s house, my mom told me that I need to seriously curb my food intake. Then I went to my dad’s house and he told me I need to gain weight. I can’t win here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 763

You deserved it 179

By mynameislor - 09/02/2010 14:26 - Canada

Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 238

You deserved it 7 425

By Kristina - 18/02/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 007

You deserved it 6 882

Keep it up

By need2eat - 15/06/2009 15:48 - United States

Today, I saw my parents for the first time in 11 weeks. They commented on how much weight I lost. I told how due to stress, I hadn't been able to eat anything for the past two weeks and I was basically unintentionally starving myself. They told me to keep it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 891

You deserved it 5 596

Backhanded

By eliinu - 02/09/2016 02:45 - United States - Middlesboro

Today, my aunt said that it looked like I lost some weight. I was pleased with this, since I've been trying to lose some. My mom, for some reason, thought it was insulting. She pulled me to aside to assure me that I most definitely don't look any skinnier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 158

You deserved it 929

Wow, thanks, I'm cured

By me. - 22/07/2023 10:00

Today, I told my mom that I'm bulimic and have been for a few years, and that I needed help. She responded by saying, "Well that's clearly not working for you. Why don't you try anorexia?" She then patted me on the head, smiled, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 145

Missing the point 101

By Anonymous - 02/10/2019 00:02

Today, I told my mom I lost 30 pounds because of an eating disorder. She told me to keep up the good work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 836

You deserved it 197

Nice

By ChubbyButt - 16/01/2013 10:48 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 119

You deserved it 7 036

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 3 951

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

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The Top

Today, my cat pooped on the floor. After cleaning it up, I’m fairly certain it was not my cat but instead my roommate, who I also suspect is pooping in the litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 930

You deserved it 225

Today, the highlight of my day was someone prank-calling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 854

You deserved it 5 499

Today, I had to stay at a friend's house because my dryer caught fire. My friend decided to start cleaning, so he put on his music playlist. By sheer coincidence, the first song that played was "Light My Fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 151

Today, my dad planned his wedding to his mistress for literally the day after his divorce from my mom becomes final. My dad says he’ll be devastated if I don’t go, while my mother will feel betrayed if I do. I’m not sure who to hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 324

You deserved it 144

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 224

You deserved it 146 906

Today, I was painting my mom's house, which so far had taken 12 hours over two days. All of a sudden there was a wind storm. All of the leaves stuck to the wet paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 929

You deserved it 4 172