Money: Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he... - FML

By Anon - 18/01/2013 05:53 - United States - Mesquite

Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 794

You deserved it 2 869

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Same thing different taste

Unionize!

By worksux - 05/01/2011 20:25 - United States

Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 121

You deserved it 4 147

By Noname - 22/02/2009 06:14 - Australia

Today, I did my work, the work of my co-worker who called in sick and the work of my boss who has no idea what the hell is going on all at the same time. I didn't get a promotion because I don't work hard enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 343

You deserved it 3 205

OK thx goodbye

By ADD - 11/02/2009 14:59 - Bulgaria

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with, "Who the hell are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 748

You deserved it 4 516

Loan shark

By Anonymous - 21/05/2022 14:00

Today, my manager did that thing where he gave me a performance-based bonus last month, but deducted the bonus from this months pay. He didn’t even try to hide it, it said in plain English "Amount deducted for previous performance bonus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 79

You guys suck

By fishbearpig - 18/01/2024 23:00 - Romania - Cluj-Napoca

Today, I had to give a presentation on how we can improve our department metrics to a group of dumb executives who keep confusing and mixing up IT departments. Our department is doing great, the problem is that the executives keep mixing up the departments and blame us for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 68

By corey - 28/02/2012 03:41 - United States

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 249

You deserved it 2 329

Seize the means…

By Underpaid - 08/05/2022 12:00 - Canada

Today, my boss complained about how his performance bonus is too small, as he expected it to be the total amount accrued rather than a percentage. He also made the decision to not give any of the employees profit sharing this year, because the company didn't beat the budgeted increase in profits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 79

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 13/11/2022 16:00

Today, my boss yelled at me for not being able to fix his computer. I’m not in IT, I wasn’t hired to have anything to do with IT, but he assumes that because I’m the youngest woman in the building and look like a nerd that I’m automatically a computer expert. I don’t even own my own computer at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 109

Slackers

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 21:36 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boss told me that people from work have been complaining about me. Apparently, I'm not doing part of their jobs for them, and the other manager sometimes does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 077

You deserved it 1 513

Know your place

By Anonymous - 06/12/2014 18:23 - United States

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 465

You deserved it 9 047

Next

Top comments

Connect 10

Friday 18 January 2013 12:02

I say you take away his Internet. Just for awhile. He'll come and find you in the hopes you'll be able to help him.

lexa1love 16

Friday 18 January 2013 12:01

Aw OP that is brutal. Maybe print off the job description and lay it on his desk if he really can't figure that out.

Comments

sambyrdPF 4

Sunday 20 January 2013 7:13

I guess you just suck

dtrickie 3

Sunday 20 January 2013 7:27

hit him with a little DNS spoof and send it to an animal **** site and see how awkward he feels coming to you for help and seeing him explain his problem would be priceless it would make it all worth while

JesMommy 11

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:12

and thats why i call them stupidvisors!

melvinmoss 3

Wednesday 12 June 2013 2:18

Hi Jen, It's me, Moss. You know, from work!

erin37 27

Friday 26 July 2013 1:27

Is your name Jen? Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Hangryko 29

Friday 30 September 2022 15:03

I would have entitled this FML "Quabity Assuance." I'm sorry that happened, OP Remind your boss of your essential role to get the rest of your bonus.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after five years in a row of my family doing absolutely nothing to even acknowledge my birthday, I got train tickets to see my boyfriend for the weekend and celebrate with him. I woke up to six angry texts about how I'm "selfish" for not staying at home with my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 387

You deserved it 2 416

Today, I was scrolling through a more risqué/dark/dirty humor Facebook page. I thoughtlessly set my phone down to help my cousin with a translation for about a minute. When I went to grab my phone, I saw, front and center, a photo edit of Chewbacca with his "lipstick" out. No wonder she kept glancing down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 426

The Top

Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 104

You deserved it 3 292

Today, my boyfriend bought me a beautiful pair of very expensive diamond earrings, along with a card that read, "To my beautiful brown eyed Princess." My ears aren't pierced, and my eyes are green. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 172

You deserved it 4 088

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 996

You deserved it 40 652

Today, I watched my boyfriend's band play a gig. I also found out he pulls the same faces playing the bass as he does when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 630

You deserved it 4 974

Today, some of my relatives are staying over. My husband was late from work, so I rang him. Apparently, he remembers the family drama and the screaming matches from last time, so he’s checked himself into a hotel until my circus of an extended family are gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 1 192

Today, my mom took away my medication. She's afraid I'll get "hooked". The medication is anti-anxiety pills. I have horrible anxiety attacks that sometimes cause me to scratch my arms until they bleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 177

You deserved it 4 513