Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to work and said hi to my boss. He reached towards me. I thought he was trying to give me a hug, so I awkwardly hugged him back. Turned out he was just trying to fix my shirt collar. FML
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML
Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML
Today, I went into to shake a big wig's hand at work, and he went in for a hug. I couldn't pull my hand away fast enough, so I cupped his entire titty for at least 10 seconds. FML
Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
Today, I went in to hug my boss after a big project presentation, all because I misread his body language and thought he was opening his arms to me, but he was actually reaching for his jacket. I basically hugged his sleeve while he stared at me like I’d lost my mind. FML
Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML
Today, I was at a job interview and thought the guy interviewing me was a bit of a perv because he kept staring down at my cleavage. Afterwards, I realised what he was really looking at: the wire in my bra had popped out and had been poking right through my shirt like a dagger. FML
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Top comments
stevenJB 25
Maybe you should've figured out WHY he was the creepy guy at work. XD
perdix 31
In Google Translate from English to Creepy Guy, "Good Morning" means "We're married, take me!"
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Comments (125)
Nikkitaria 9
You should talk to your boss about this. It's not just creepy, it's sexual harassment.
sabby90 4
And thats when you scream random profanity words in to which people believe you have turrets and think you are the creep at work and are left alone
whatthefreshhell 15
I wish I had turrets. I bet they're expensive though
sabby90 4
I meant Tourettes ... auto correct but those would definitely keep creeps away
whatthefreshhell 15
I actually feel your pain, my swype corrected they're to there, lucky for me I had time to edit it.
spazz666 18
I'm pretty sure if you started screaming while ANYONE was touching you, people would not avoid you. They would be wondering what the **** was going on.
StarThrower 17
That makes Sexual Harassment Panda sad...
alullaby 21
When one little panda tries to unhook the bra of another little panda, that is sexual harassment. That makes me a sad panda.
StarThrower 17
Couldn't have put it better myself :)
sabby90 4
whoops damn auto correct! ! but hose woukd work too lol! ?
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Is your auto-correct drunk!?
a_lenzmeier 11
What language are you trying to type in? I couldn't even form a thought based on your comment.
fuzz97 23
you must not be very bright, 31, because I could
perdix 31
Oh, you're paranoid. He was just trying to give you a middle-back massage -- it's the biggest craze to come out of Sweden since IKEA Bjørkefårs!
sabby90 4
I fail
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Don't worry, life here on FML gets better. =)
Zack6849 8
touch him back, but harder, and with a shovel.
a_lenzmeier 11
That would allow him to be in a perfect position for a knee to the groin.
fuzz97 23
1. Guy is creepy 2. You talk to him 3. Guy does creepy thing to you honestly what did you expect
icemand90 17
she knows better now...
Tpracingkg 15
Report his ass
RedPillSucks 33
Why? His ass didn't do anything to her. Report those philandering hands of his.
Elfkid21 19
shut up pervy sage. lmfao!!