Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML
Annonymous_Dad tells us more.
My dog IS trained. Generally, he just needs to be told "heel" or "quiet" and he obeys. However, ever since the baby has come home ( 3 weeks) hes gone into super protective mode. A car door slams and hes "killer guard dog". Its getting ridiculous and I do get exasperated when it happens multiple times within a half hour. He DOES listen when I yell, because its not something I have ever done with him. Afterwards, however, we go through the "heel" command and give treats. He just hasnt settled down yet! Maybe Ill just start yelling "Heel Killer!!" ( totally kidding, calm down, no more yelling for me)
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Top comments
zandalee 19
Get the dog looked after by someone else for a little while or train it not to bark... I bet having a new born and a barking dog is going to ensure you get very little sleep.
FaygoAndMiracles 18
You don't abandon family members because they "won't shut up".
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Comments (157)
nishantvas 13
I can't believe that someone can be reported for screaming at their children or their dog for that matter !!
Ameel_fml 19
People can be reported for noise disturbance if it's constant or past a certain time (I think it's past 10pm or something). If OP is doing it all the time, then I don't blame the neighbors for complaining.
laurenasabutton 26
Maybe the neighbours were worried about child abuse?
FaygoAndMiracles 18
Yes, how horrible is it that we live in a world where people can be reported for disturbing others with the sounds of verbally abusing children?
noreallywhat 17
get Bark Off from As Seen on T.V. it works and costs $10 batteries not included I have 3 dogs and our neighbors a small yipper turn the thing on they all shut up!
TheBrochure 22
If I call now, do I get a second Bark Off, mini Bark Off, Bark Off-themed water bottle and mini Sham-Wow with Just the added price of extra shipping and handling?!
noreallywhat 17
I do really use the product it is an effective tool. It is the cheapest way to train your dog not to bark
tj5810 21
I use BarkOff too but it doesn't phase all dogs. I think OP is in some serious need of training classes and maybe some anger management. No one should be screaming that loud around a baby...
fmlgiraffe 23
The cheapest way (ie FREE) would be to actually train your dog!
SammyS2012 21
I thought it was common for parents to exasperatly say shut the hell up when their baby excessively cries. it's not like the newborn understands
MuseFan1991 14
you completely missed the point of the FML. go back and try again
SammyS2012 21
I understand the point of the FML. Im just stating why would the neighbors call the police even the exclamation was for the baby. I've heard new parents cry out when their child wont be quiet, so was it really necessary that the police were involved? Especially since their assumption was wrong
xgetxbentx 13
Well, fyl but 1) your dog doesn't understand what shut up means, and you raising your voice could in turn excite the dog, causing more barking. You should probably look up how to properly train your dog. 2) you screaming, probably isn't helping with your newborn being terrified. Obviously your baby does not like loud noises.
Ameel_fml 19
No wonder the poor dog barks. Yelling at it loudly (to the point where neighbors have reported it) probably just confuses it...or even scares it.
fmessiah 19
Wait, so you failed at training a dog and now have a child to teach... oh dear! (I jest, partially jest).
01Ben21 10
Time to invest in some bark preventative treatment for your dog.
klutz44 28
You shouldn't have kids any time soon
Cassandrax731 5
Yelling "shut the hell up" isn't going to get you anywhere. Maybe OP should have learned how to take care of/train a dog.
TheSofaKing 7
You have a screaming/crying baby and a barking dog in an apartment. Your neighbors are probably not getting any sleep also.
Hazelino 25
I wonder if the neighbours wrote an FML too...