Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, the only thing that cheered me up was a documentary about IKEA, and seeing how my furniture was made. FML
Today, I spent two hours building an IKEA bookshelf. When I was finished, I realized it was inside-out. There was no way to fix it without completely taking it apart again. FML
Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML
Today, I attempted to assemble a piece of furniture that boasted "easy, step-by-step instructions." Three hours later, surrounded by mismatched screws and a confusing diagram, I realized the only thing "easy" about it was my decision to ask my dad to come round and assemble it for me. FML
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
Today, I spent an hour painstakingly disassembling my antique mirror after discovering a stack of papers behind the back board. I finally got hold of one corner, and pulled out… a newspaper from 2007 and instructions for an IKEA bed. FML
Today, I attempted to assemble a piece of furniture that claimed to be "easy to build in minutes." Four hours and multiple arguments later, I realized I had misread the instructions, and half the parts were upside down. I'm pretty sure the furniture won this round. FML
Today, I noticed that my weekend hobby is crying. I live in a city where I don't have a single friend or relative. FML
Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML
Today, after opening up to my husband about my mental struggles after a difficult birth, I shed a few tears. He left me there to go take a nap. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
These days it's actually not very easy to make friends. If you try to talk to a random person in a mall or a bar or anywhere, they just look at you like you're a ******* retarded moron, mock you, and walk away.
noshcherie 0
awwwww! i would help you.
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Comments (154)
Emperor_Jim 0
As mentioned above, you can afford IKEA, so quit whining. My advice? You clearly have some money, so why don't you find some young guy and be his sugar momma? Wine and dine him, but him some video games and maybe a few shirts, and you won't be lonely anymore. :)
pyrodude185 0
I agree u should kill ur kindergarten teacher
Shaynasdfjkl 0
People are so mean. Someone will come around when you least expect it. (:
Cristaderzi 0
Whatever!!! How do ya know the if the OP isnt fighting self harm etc?! I wish I knew the OP I'd help him!!
kaiibebe 0
Maybe you have an ugly personality, or just flat out an ugly face:) Just being honest.
cjammer 0
#58, You truly are a dumb bitch, aren't you? Welcome to the real world, sweetheart: regardless of happens in high school, and what MTV and "reality" shows claim, there's actually more to life than the primal instinct of, "Holy ****, s/he's hot, I want to spend the rest of my life (or at least the night) with that ass." Sure, there needs to be an attraction when having a relationship. But, to honestly think that the OP has no one in her life because of ugliness, is about the most shallow, ignorant thing I've read on these pages of FML. And that's speeding past and waving at a LOT of ignorance. OP didn't specify lack of an intimate relationship...she said "no one...to help her". Which implies no friends, no family. Or does she not have any family on account of hitting every branch on the ugly tree, as well? Even if she was talking about her love life, who are you to say that she's not good enough? Doesn't that judgment lie in the person she ends up with? Nobody thought I was pretty, but I ended up getting married before any of the haters did. Married to someone that is really goddamn hot, and a football/hockey player. I can't tell you how many times I've heard some winners like yourself say, "Why is someone like him with such a fat bitch like HER?" Guess what? He thinks I'm gorgeous. And we're happy. I'm living proof that what you just said has absolutely no bearing. Looks aren't everything. Brains are a factor too, and you seem to be a little lacking. In simple terms: You're a ******* idiot. Just being honest. =]
chicken_lover 2
you are really pretty. don't listen to stupid people. i had a bunch of people call me fat and ugly and they are stuck trying to look perfect, and i'm living my life happily with the way i look, and skinnier too haha. people are just jealous you've got someone hot who actually loves you. so, you win and they lose. :) and op, just get out there and try to make friends. maybe connect with old people. i just connected with an old friend, and now we are really close. i know how hard making friends is, but don't get discouraged. there are plenty of nice people out there. it just takes some searching.
Veritas143 0
in #58's defense they did mention personality first..but i do see you're point
pleo_fml 0
awhhh I would have helped u ;)
ender345 0
go join a club or something. nobody is going to want to be your friend unless you get yourself out there. i'm sure you're a nice person, now you just gotta work on some confidence!
Vanita 1
Ask a neighbor. Maybe he/she will be a new friend, too.
snafu57 1
okay, no preaching here. I've been where you are. I suffer from depression, been married for 19 years, and am recently separated. I joined a support group for codependency, go to Mickey D and have some coffee with some seniors. I'm not a senior, but they are interesting folks. I keep busy,I joined a gym. I'm disabled but not dead. get out there. enjoy NOW. don't think about the past or worry about the future. you can't change either. practice living, not waiting to die. my prayers go with you.
LucyStraw 0
I'm sorry but the comments are more entertaining than your fml