Today, my wife and I were having sex when she suddenly stopped and said, "I just thought of a great lesson plan idea for my 3rd graders." This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
Today, at my job as a second grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML
Today, I found out my sex-ed teacher from high school was married and had her first child while she herself was still in high school. Looks like she didn't pay enough attention in sex-ed. FML
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
Today, my wife was snoring in my ear. I nudged her, and she rolled over and started talking in her sleep. I listened, because it was funny, until I heard, quite clearly, "My husband is a dumbass, he's got no idea." No idea of what, exactly? FML
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Top comments
AyeJay101 25
Take some credit! You're pumping some good ideas into her ;)
rapunzel3416 28
She's just focusing on the boring stuff to last longer... That's how that works right? Right?
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Comments (52)
ezrajab 22
I sense a role play in your intimate future if that has t already happened nice OP
NakedandAfraid 14
You inspire her !
ouijacorn 9
Not gonna lie, my mind also tends to wander all over the place during sex, but I usually keep a lid on my ideas until after the fact.
amccaul1976 8
reminds me of Monty Python and the meaning of life. he's banging his wife if front of the class and yelling at his class to pay attention. sorry.
Nygma 14
Teachers were made to teach. What'll ya do? Actually I have a recommendation. Next time you guys have sex, stop to talk about your work, just as a joke you two could share.
jimluminaye 17
The real question is why is your wife thinking about 3rd graders while having sex.
writerchic85 26
She's thinking about her third graders at pretty inappropriate times
jessels 7
I don't much about your sex life but I assume that you guys have a regular position and there isn't much romance or adventure anymore. Maybe adding some of those things in would help solve this from happening AGAIN.
9a_1z 12
It's usually when I'm feeling calm and happy that I have my best ideas, a lot of the time my brain is filled with mundane rubbish and worries that get in the way. Maybe it's a good thing you're providing such a safe, inspiring environment for her!
mustangbravo 27
You are her muse.