Money: Today, my portfolio manager called me and said he had invested...

By Noname - 13/01/2009 10:06 - United States

Today, my portfolio manager called me and said he had invested all of my retirement in Circuit City. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 749

You deserved it 3 108

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Same thing different taste

By extants - 11/02/2010 20:13 - United States

Today, I found out my broker invested my $6000 in the wrong stock. How did I find out? He called me to let me know the stock crashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 367

You deserved it 3 646

Pump and dump

By Anonymous - 07/05/2017 20:00

Today, I learned that my dad invested my entire college fund into some shady internet stock, despite my dire warnings about being careful. He told me not to worry as he'd done some research, and he guaranteed everything would be fine. Two hours later that same stock dropped almost 75%. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 043

You deserved it 428

By JONNO - 27/04/2019 14:00

Today, I got fired from my position as a financial investor for giving a client the exact investment he asked for, even though the investment was out of my mandate, and I had gone to my direct manager to authorize the investment. My manager was promoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 331

You deserved it 178

Mixed feeling

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 12:00

Today, my boss told me that I was getting a promotion. I was so excited to tell my family and friends the good news, but when I got home and checked my bank account, I realized that I had accidentally transferred all of my savings to my ex's account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 1 044

Management 101

By Anonymous - 22/07/2021 04:01 - South Africa

Today, I got a call from the bank, telling me my mom's company is going broke. She's been on holiday for a month, and I had been appointed to manage it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 187

Ouch.

By Jen1444 - 26/02/2018 13:00 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I gave a financial presentation to my entire firm. After it was over, somebody accidentally copied me on a group text that said, "Her zipper was open the whole time. If we're so successful, why is our CFO wearing a urine-stained store-brand K-Mart panties?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 742

You deserved it 981

End of the road

By Anonymous - 02/04/2021 21:30

Today, I landed my dream job with an international company. I figured I could work this until retirement, only to find out they hired me to shut down operations in my market. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 75

By Marco - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, the bank I use lost 5 billion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 194

You deserved it 12 103

By Perdedor - 07/01/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, my boss called me in to tell me I had got a raise. I bought a $1500 Chanel bag. Two hours later he called me in to tell me he was kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 903

You deserved it 44 979

By Dave - 07/02/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, a vendor contacted me to let me know that our contract renewal went through. Turns out, I misread our original contract and now I've obligated our company to buy $24k of services, when my boss wanted to cancel it. It's only February and I already know I'm not getting a bonus this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 031

You deserved it 2 584

sanjuro_fml 0

Thursday 19 February 2009 8:11

I hear Bernie Madoff is looking for new clients.

wotchersarah 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 1:22

#9, that's the point. and what kind of idiot puts ALL of someones retirement money in ONE company?

Comments

anjali123 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 2:16

Don't get A shitty portfolio manager.

ban4023 0

Monday 21 September 2009 22:21

lol

the_unlucky 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 17:29

Today, i'm STILL trying to find a job after i lost my job when circuit city closed fml.

martic835 2

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:48

LMFAO!!! Circuit City FTW!!!!

missy1228 2

Saturday 10 April 2010 6:08

#1 was that racsist

bomzo 22

Thursday 27 March 2014 7:28

stfu ******

camifornilla 2

Saturday 14 August 2010 7:22

maybe that's what made circuit city close.

josephbegley 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 3:24

they went out in like 07

talksarahh 0

Monday 21 March 2011 3:41

so how'd that work out?

Leo_C_fml 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 19:58

What's Circuit City?

Onlynamethatwasn 0

Thursday 23 June 2011 5:58

circuit city his butt

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The Top

Today, I watched the new Fallout series, which was pretty good… except for the fact that Ella Purnell looks a lot like my ex. Now it’s 6 a.m., hours before I have to wake up, and I can't keep myself from crying. I broke up with this girl for a number of reasons which seem somewhat valid now, but I regret it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 276

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 077

You deserved it 18 229

The Top

Today, I told my supervisor that I want to do the work I was hired to do, which is Data Engineer. He told me he doesn't have the workload for another data engineer, and needs someone with people skills. He's very happy with the current situation. I left my previous job because of the same problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 91

Today, my boss had a "team-building" event, which involved a game of trust falls. As I fell backwards, my coworkers failed to catch me, and I crumbled onto the floor. I'm now spending the afternoon in the ER with a sprained ankle, and my boss called to check if I still trust the team. Great bonding experience, guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 93

Today, I wore a Stanford college T-shirt to school. My Spanish teacher took one look at it and said "You wish". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 340

You deserved it 8 310

Today, a short guy asked me how the world looked "up there", as I'm really tall. I decided to lift him up so he could see for himself. I failed both times I tried, to the great amusement of everyone watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 134

You deserved it 6 776

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 269

You deserved it 4 576

Today, after I can't count how many times, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to break MORE things in our home, because I asked him not to let our son speak to me rudely. His response, "He said 'OK' so you should have shut up." Basically, he's raising my kid to treat me like he does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 593