Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got home and found my husband, naked with an erection and my panties on his face like a mask. He claimed to be the Panty Bandit there to plunder my booty. I might have indulged his insanity and had sex with him were my mom and dad not right behind me in the doorway. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
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Top comments
mkid232 15
Wow, you sound like a bundle of fun, OP...
zed34 18
Men will be boys!
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Comments (228)
Funnyguyproblems 1
Maybe he was role playing
tw34kb0y21 4
So you don't have the same sense of humor as your boyfriend, get over it.
Nikki_Night93 7
oh my god this is brilliant. I'm sorry OP but that really did make me laugh. if my partner did that I'd be in tears of laughter x
morgasshk 14
Have you been together for all of five minutes? and it is your first ever "boy friend?" Don't be surprised when he ditches your ass for a woman/girl who can take a joke, have a play. You need to understand that if a guy can't play with his girl, he does it only with his mates... around other girls.... in other girls. lol
priscilla_28 5
I think some of the people on here are just a bit too uptight. It's a joke. Jeez. It's okay to joke around during sex you know. It makes it fun. Have some sense of humor.
NakedOnTheMoon 5
Rule #1 in life: Men will always be children...
appforthat 9
I would try this but I don't have a girlfriend. And I'm only 14. Guess I have to be Virgin Man. The only superhero to accidentally bump into you while watching women walk by with an uncontrollable hormone induced erection and then wince awkwardly. (which has happened several times).
kkillaj 5
Lmao man child is the only type of man there is
MissNicMcNic 4
I think I'd find that funny. What's not funny is when you're busy playing on your xbox and your boyfriend decides to stand behind you and **** right on top of your head. All in your hair. Yeah, had an ex who did that. Not my proudest moment.
Trent100 0
Wow
RDMonroe0 4
He obviously showed up more prepared than you did. He's no child, he's a hero.