Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my manager gave me hell for leaving the restaurant early yesterday. Guilty as charged, but only because I was rushed to the hospital after going into diabetic shock. This assmunch is convinced that I either faked it all to get off work early, or that I'd been eating our own stock. FML
Today, my psycho boss snatched a file from my hand so aggressively that I got a papercut. She then scolded me for bleeding on the papers. FML
Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML
Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML
Today, my manager said I could go on a break when he came back from his. After 7 hours with him still missing, I started to get dizzy. I ended up passing out and hitting my head on a ladder from lack of food. I woke up in the hospital to a card from my manager saying, "Get Well. Don't Sue." FML
Today, I had a nosebleed at work after having recent surgery. As I was walking to the bathroom, I tripped and fell, sending blood splattering everywhere. My manager, who was walking by, looked at me and said, “You’re really committed to the bit.” I was too embarrassed to respond. FML
Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML
Today, while drilling holes in "No Smoking" signs for my job, I gave myself a minor cut that would appear to most as a papercut. I then had to fill out 3 double-sided pages of paperwork. FML
Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
Today, I'm a cashier in a grocery store. The visiting regional manager tore me a new one for being lazy. His reason? After working a double shift with no break, I decided to sit down for a minute when things got slow. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Luckster 0
I HATE bosses that pull that shit on you! They can bail on you or take as many breaks as you want, but you have to make up for every second you miss for whatever reason, even if it means you were in the hospital during that time.
AeryFairy 10
reminds me of my old boss. my old boss was my mother.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (96)
xxsarxx 0
What a dick of a boss, Really. I don't think I would have been able to bite my tongue at that. I hope you told him where to go.
VegasMade702 0
LOL! Everyone keeps commenting on how shitty the boss is while I still can't get past the whole "cutting the pad of your thumb off"....that's horrific!! I can't imagine doing that! Totally sucks dude!
sparda4355 0
People... people... I'm pretty sure when #7 said your boss is a fag he wasn't referring to his sexual pref. 90% of the time people use the word "fag" to refer to a jerk, tool, jackass, etc... On a side note: a little trivia fact, 74% of all statistics are made up on the spot! lol as for number 14 clearly all ****'s are not in their right mind or they would like girls! Ha... lol that was a little joke, I actually have nothing against gay people! (more girls for me) :) OP your boss is a dick! (before anybody responds I'm not saying he is actually a large penis, just that he acts like a mean person)
Rainbow_Monkey 0
Oh, that's awful. I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope you find a better job soon. My managers are asses, too. Maybe we can job-hunt together...
SarahX_fml 0
Poster here: For clarification: I had to sign an accident report for the company's insurance; the workman's comp stuff was basically covering my trip to the clinic, nothing shady or anything. (That, and we only get 300 characters for FMLs, "WC papers" was the shortest way to describe that process, cut me some slack.) To the genius of #15, yes, I lost a considerable amount of blood in a very short amount of time; remember, this was a cheese slicer, which means the blade was a) extremely sharp and spinning and b) extremely contaminated, and the cut itself was angled and quite deep; bandaids weren't doing it, buddy, and before first aid could be applied, the wound had to be cleared of contaminants, and bleeding doesn't arbitrarily stop during that process. Feel free to cut your own thumb in this manner and find out for yourself. I have quit. I really loved the work and my co-workers, but this kind of ruined it for me. Incidentally, my former manager is, in fact, a homosexual. That doesn't have anything especially to do with the story so I didn't waste space on it, but given the comments, I just want to put that out there. He was actually gay. Thanks for making me feel better about this, guys. :) I needed that. F my life.
bdirrrtyy 0
My response, "I quit!"
blapimp182 0
Seriously, time to get a new job. I know the job market really sucks right now (at least in the U.S.) but you don't have to put up with that.
PianoManGidley 0
#44: That's what I'm trying to get at. People should STOP using a term to mean "homosexual" when they mean "loser" or "stupid" or whatever. It's basically saying that anyone who is homosexual is a loser or stupid, etc. Every time you hear someone call someone else a "fag" in the way that #7 did, replace "fag" with the N-word. And imagine how that equates stupidity and being a loser to Black people. It's the same concept, and it needs to stop.
TryToBeKind 0
If you really needed your job, you would have said yes and apologized. Pay more attention next time.
PierreChaqueJour 0
OP - He must have been one of those bitchy gays, the kind not even Kathy Griffin likes. #23/49 - Suck it up. The more we dissociate the word "fag" from homosexuals the better.