Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I already felt like shit for no reason, only to find out my boyfriend been drinking again, even though he knows it worries me. He lives two hours away and I don't have a car. Apparently he's had two bottles of vodka, and he started getting nasty over the phone with me. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend from two years ago called and asked to come over. Still being in love with him, I agreed to see him but decided I wasn't drunk enough to handle the stress. After a while of drinking, he said that he really missed me and wanted to be with me. My reply consisted of throwing up. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, my boyfriend video-called me in the middle of the night, drunk after a night out of partying. He told me that he was chatted up by a girl and proudly exclaimed that he told her off, given his status, all the while showing large hickeys on his neck. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
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Top comments
Chelsea_bella 20
At least it was long distance vomiting.
regenerate 19
How romantic...
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Comments (82)
BoltTheSuperdog 22
At least you can just hang up and go back to bed, OP.
eaglerob 20
Can you hear me now?
steph_solaris 11
Could have been worse, you could have actually been there and got vomited on
supersquirel500 10
great memories
uglyduck24 7
Am I the only one who thought it was kinda sweet and cute that he thought of you when he was drunk and wanted you to be there with him (and to do that he wanted to Skype call you all night)as well?..
Blaisey 22
I think so. You don't just call people mid-vomit.
fivetimeslonger 24
I do. It's sweet that even when his brain isn't functioning properly, he's thinking about you. (Maybe best of all you know he's not drunkenly hooking up with some random girl!)
Ducklett 11
Through the vomiting sounds and probably not getting the image out of her head, it is cute! Could have been doing anything yet his alcoholic state wanted a Skype call :)
DanielleinDC 34
I don't think it's particularly sweet that he "insisted" she stay on Skype with him, especially since he woke her up by puking at 3:00 a.m. Drunk calling, drunk texting, and drunk Skyping are all very bad ideas. At that point, I probably would have said to him, "Okay, hon, I'm hanging up now."
Blaisey 22
Oh, I misread that, my apologies. I guess it is cute, to a degree, but it's also pretty sad, not to mention gross..
peggscott 14
In the moment of extreme intoxication when his brain would have been struggling to make sense of anything or string a sentence together he was still thinking of you.... Kinda nice really...
teotsi 28
How do people like this get relationships??
hybridpordigy 9
ikr! Only non-humans who don't vomit deserve relationships.
toriaaa1313 7
I think it's sweet that he tried...
belljars 22
I sometimes have the same problem.