Today, my husband told me I couldn't go to my morning yoga class, because he needed to leave for work at 7:30 am sharp, and I wouldn't be back in time to watch our son. It's 8:05 am and he still hasn't left for work. FML
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Today, to prove to my wife that she's incapable of leaving on time, I told her we needed to leave by 6 and gave her no further reminders. At 6:45 she “still need 5 more minutes.” Then she got mad when she came downstairs at 7:20 and I was in my pyjamas, because what's the fucking point leaving now? FML
Today, my husband yelled at me for asking him to get the kids ready for school after he got off work. He works overnights, so I figured that since he's already awake, he can help out, since I'm not a morning person at all. Apparently he needs sleep "IMMEDIATELY" once he gets off work. FML
Today, my boss told me I have to start work 4 hours early tomorrow, because that my coworker, who happens to be his son, will not be coming in because he's "too tired". I work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week without complaining. His son works two 4-hour shifts a week. FML
Today, I showed up to work at 6am, only to find out the schedule was changed. I wasn't actually supposed to be there until 9:15. My boss never told me this. I didn't get to go home either, he just said, "Oh well. Get to work." FML
Today, after an argument over my timekeeping, my boyfriend bet me that I was incapable of being ready to leave the house by 6:30 to get our theatre seats. It got to 6:35 and I was rushing to tie my shoes while doing my lipstick when I heard him put the car in gear and drive off without me. FML
Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick our son up from daycare. His excuse? Fighting in a battle in World of Warcraft was far more important and he had to stay absolutely focused. Our son had to wait for two hours. FML
Today, without any form of notice, my landlord started working on the upstairs windows at 6:30am. I have an at-home appointment at 8:30 for my autistic son that I can't move or postpone without notice. FML
Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off. When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone. I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work. FML
Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML
Today, I called my husband when his shift at work ended to talk about what we needed to do this weekend. He got angry and asked if he could have "five goddamn minutes" after work to get home and change before I started "throwing the fucking to do list at me." FML
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Top comments
PainInTheAsss 16
I have an idea. It's called a pan and a soup spoon
camoMS 18
Either something came up with his work, he's screwing with you, or he's being an ass. Let's just hope it's the first one.
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Comments (27)
kbecks87 16
That feels both controlling and manipulative. Hopefully it's not an ongoing issue, but if it is, you might want to address that before it becomes something larger.
Mike_Oxhard 14
OP, do you not know your own husband? There are people who are perpetually late and can't stick to a regimen, and that's just how they are. You should know if your husbands word is his bond or if he's a bit of a flake. Sounds like he's just trying to get some control, because he obviously didn't leave at the time he was adamant about.
meghanclean 17
That's not cool of him. But, there are a lot of baby/mommy yoga classes and you should consider it if your husband is being a twat.
Mightytall 35
Remind him of his important 7:30 am take off time ... It happens to everyone to forget stuff over night. And if you're not satisfied with his reaction or explanation, you can do the crying lotus three finger dog punch on his ass. And by the way, it's really not a healthy relationship style to complain via FML about a thing instead of sorting it between you and your husband immediately. So maybe **** your and your husbands and childs life ...
tinycritic 12
Every FML starts with "today" but that doesn't necessarily mean it just happened recently. A lot of fmls took place a long time ago but were recently just published. And by the way, people need to vent every now and then.
qwertyuiopasdfgh_fml 16
Just nag and when he's back you make sure you have a serious talk about it, your entire life isn't about watching your kid and you need some time for yourself too. Also, what about kindegarden?
jvanevery 19
I'm going to yoga call me when you leave
Le_ponderer 14
Just a suggestion: spread your mat & do some of your more limber poses in front of him (but do them with a little naughty moaning and eye contact). When he looks interested, tell him those moves are one of the benefits of yoga and you would like to learn more. Yes! It's a blatant attempt to get him to buy into supporting your need to Yoga but all's fair in love and yoga...
Bearsmomma 30
My marriage is full of similar situations. Sorry for your disappointment.
crazymadimadz 12
I would seriously be so pissed, I hope you had a word with him, he's given you no respect, that's if he's being an ass or ******* with you. Let's hope something came up with work.