Nightmare mode

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

Annoyed

Today, I was pissed off. I kicked a soccer ball into my wall, and it bounced back, hit my head, and knocked me into the wall behind me. My head hurts like hell. Even inanimate objects hate me. FML

Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML

Today, I finally decided to do something productive and clean my room. When I went to pick up the first thing off my floor, I hit my head on my desk and gave myself a concussion. FML

Things hate me

Today, while trying to relax because I'm sick and I feel like crap, the shower head attachment fell and hit me on the head. FML

Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML

Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML

Night terrors

Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML

Thrashed

Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML

Boiling point

Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML