Miscellaneous: Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5 a.m. because she thought...

By boyfriend123 - 18/08/2011 10:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5 a.m. because she thought someone was watching her from the park. It was a trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 770

You deserved it 3 484

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Same thing different taste

Shame on you!

By Bjax - 11/10/2017 16:00

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 723

You deserved it 392

By Zack - 01/04/2012 21:36 - United States - Duncannon

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 746

You deserved it 26 494

By Anonymous - 03/06/2013 20:55 - France - M?rignac

Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 356

You deserved it 5 592

By happybidet - 31/10/2016 13:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 708

You deserved it 880

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 733

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:25

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 992

You deserved it 108 901

By Anonymous - 02/09/2014 21:29 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 889

You deserved it 3 560

Keep the peace

By Anonymous - 02/10/2020 18:02 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 120

By pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 566

You deserved it 4 531

By WakeUpToADream - 25/09/2015 20:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend is as punctual as a German train; I woke up to see her taking a dump into a plastic bag in our bedroom, all because my roommate was using the bathroom and she had to leave for work on time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 275

You deserved it 1 979

Ladiesman247 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 15:45

Oscar the Grouch? :3

jsgunner420 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 15:44

Maybe it WAS watching her!

Comments

Tone22 0

Monday 22 August 2011 3:59

Your a good boyfriend, your girlfriend is a sissy la-la.

mattgallien27 0

Monday 22 August 2011 6:25

why was she up at 5, and you weren't?

jcjackson100 0

Monday 22 August 2011 6:57

Is she a blond

that_suckz_ALOT 0

Monday 14 November 2011 5:46

lts 5 o'clock in the morning, the conversation got boring...........

Kade20 4

Thursday 8 November 2012 9:11

Meth and other drugs cause paranoia you know. Lol

redpanda11 10

Friday 25 January 2013 5:27

Awe well at least she trusted you to protect her.

JoseIsAdork 31

Wednesday 17 July 2013 5:29

lol, those trash cans are sneaky... gotta watch your back around em

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The Top

Today, another woman tagged my husband in a “Couples' Day” photo montage on Instagram. Some of the photos were taken during those “business trips” he was having, including when he traveled due to his “grandpa” passing away. We have 3 children and I gave birth to our last daughter a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 243

You deserved it 112

Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 154

The Top

Today, I slipped and fell while shopping at a local grocery store. I slipped and fell in the same store last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 036

You deserved it 758

Today, the "hot" guy I've been talking to for a few weeks sent me a picture. He was very overweight and not good looking at all. He then followed up with, "Now send me one of you so I can prove to all of my friends that you're real." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 877

You deserved it 39 971

Today, my skittish cat almost fell off my bed. He caught himself, though. Using his claws on my bare foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 938

You deserved it 1 412

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 367

Today, I broke my fifth bone in three years. While I'd like say that they've all been scary, athletic injuries, most have been from attempting to do things as mundane as walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 558

You deserved it 871

Today, I went to pay my vehicle registration in person to avoid paying the $10.00 online service fee. After a long wait, I came out to find a $15.00 parking ticket on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 748

You deserved it 24 558