Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said, "Good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was, "Just wank it off and move on." FML
Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply, "#rekt", then, "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML
Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML
Today, I was feeling down following a recent breakup. My dad tried to comfort me by patting me on the back and saying everyone goes through ups and downs, "Like when I found out your mum and I were having a boy." I'm their only son. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says, "Oh, honey. I don't care… Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML
Today, days after I broke up with my girlfriend, my dad tried to make her feel better by inviting her to our family BBQ next weekend. FML
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Top comments
izzybd 20
Way to rub it in, Dad
Michael903 18
He's just jerking your chain...
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Comments (53)
mackdeezy 22
What a jerk off
fartay55 11
He may sound rude about it but he is kinda right, it may help you...at least for the moment anyway
chinaski7628 32
It does release endorphins which should improve your mood :)
illegalbeagle69 23
It releases something, alright.
Enslaved 38
I actually know some dads that would take their sons to strip clubs to "help" them get over a nasty break up. Weird bonding.
Karenezzy 20
Did it help you for 5 min?
michael2086 7
The truth feels good sometimes. In this case. 100% of the time.
shyeahh_fml 19
60% of the time, it works every time.
PenguinBitch 44
Just don't think of your ex when rubbing one because it'll make you FEEL WORSE.
whopper_sr 7
If you end up crying, you can use those tears as a lubricant! Let's be resourceful :)
10showgirl 16
Time heals all wounds.
karlcolt45 19
well “no time" is a subjective term. it's anywhere between 3 and 35 minutes really
underthesea12 24
Dad is very wise! It always helps.