Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my...

By Author - 24/02/2014 22:22 - United States - Naples

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 403

You deserved it 6 831

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Same thing different taste

Realistic

By IBleedArbor - 16/02/2009 22:59 - United States

Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 291

You deserved it 5 024

By bastard magnet - 02/10/2011 22:14 - United States

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 082

You deserved it 7 957

Empathy

By kumcat - 11/01/2015 05:57 - United States - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply, "#rekt", then, "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 976

You deserved it 3 974

By sad - 30/03/2012 22:21 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 630

You deserved it 3 016

By Lisa - 19/09/2011 02:07 - United States

Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 925

You deserved it 5 698

Thanks

By Appelflap - 29/03/2013 22:18 - Belgium - Sint-niklaas

Today, I was feeling down following a recent breakup. My dad tried to comfort me by patting me on the back and saying everyone goes through ups and downs, "Like when I found out your mum and I were having a boy." I'm their only son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 631

You deserved it 2 800

Parental advice

By ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 073

You deserved it 8 878

By daddylove - 12/06/2011 04:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says "Oh, honey. I don't care... Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 415

You deserved it 6 916

By lovealways22 - 17/07/2012 07:19 - United States - Littleton

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 030

You deserved it 2 835

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 16:50 - Bangladesh - Dhaka

Today, days after I broke up with my girlfriend, my dad tried to make her feel better by inviting her to our family BBQ next weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 725

You deserved it 5 513

izzybd 20

Tuesday 25 February 2014 7:48

Way to rub it in, Dad

Michael903 18

Tuesday 25 February 2014 7:49

He's just jerking your chain...

Comments

mackdeezy 22

Tuesday 25 February 2014 8:10

What a jerk off

fartay55 11

Tuesday 25 February 2014 8:12

He may sound rude about it but he is kinda right, it may help you...at least for the moment anyway

chinaski7628 32

Tuesday 25 February 2014 8:33

It does release endorphins which should improve your mood :)

illegalbeagle69 23

Monday 3 March 2014 0:32

It releases something, alright.

Enslaved 36

Tuesday 25 February 2014 8:12

I actually know some dads that would take their sons to strip clubs to "help" them get over a nasty break up. Weird bonding.

Karenezzy 20

Tuesday 25 February 2014 8:16

Did it help you for 5 min?

michael2086 7

Tuesday 25 February 2014 8:21

The truth feels good sometimes. In this case. 100% of the time.

shyeahh_fml 19

Tuesday 25 February 2014 9:31

60% of the time, it works every time.

PenguinBitch 43

Tuesday 25 February 2014 8:28

Just don't think of your ex when rubbing one because it'll make you FEEL WORSE.

whopper_sr 7

Tuesday 25 February 2014 8:58

If you end up crying, you can use those tears as a lubricant! Let's be resourceful :)

10showgirl 16

Tuesday 25 February 2014 9:23

Time heals all wounds.

karlcolt45 19

Tuesday 25 February 2014 9:29

well “no time" is a subjective term. it's anywhere between 3 and 35 minutes really

underthesea12 24

Tuesday 25 February 2014 9:32

Dad is very wise! It always helps.

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