Kids: Today, my father taught my son to pee on trees outside. We went...

By jcesom - 01/08/2009 06:35 - United States

Today, my father taught my son to pee on trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 921

You deserved it 6 106

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

I just can't hide it

By doomeddaddy - 03/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 242

You deserved it 3 233

By gameguy3424 - 18/05/2009 03:37 - United States

Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is 2 miles away from the park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 612

You deserved it 3 204

By sayroshi - 30/06/2016 18:29 - United States

Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 400

You deserved it 1 324

Childfree confirmation ceremony

By Kathya Wilson - 01/08/2022 10:00

Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 294

By Anonymous - 28/05/2013 23:01 - United States - El Paso

Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 528

You deserved it 48 265

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 515

You deserved it 24 620

By TiredMommy - 20/04/2017 18:00 - United States - Southbridge

Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 563

You deserved it 515

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 23:54 - United States

Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's the window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 758

You deserved it 9 575

By moosemay - 14/01/2016 15:05 - Germany - Dittelbrunn

Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 550

You deserved it 1 811

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 541

You deserved it 5 198

soiree_fml 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 12:03

Don't you just love helpful parents? Good luck getting that habit broken, or at least modified.

lone_wanderer 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 12:13

I hate little kids -.-

Comments

muffinsareyummy 1

Sunday 2 August 2009 20:12

at first i said "wtf" and then i saw you were from west virginia. that explains alot.

BreezyPear 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 21:19

Hmm this sounds a lot like the movie "Big Daddy"

jcesom 0

Monday 3 August 2009 1:33

Just because something is in a movie doesn't mean it can't have happened in real life. In fact, usually it means it has.

ReconExpert 0

Monday 3 August 2009 6:49

*Facepalm*

caltain 0

Monday 3 August 2009 13:46

The law of unintended consequences at work, folks.

inkedgeek 0

Monday 3 August 2009 21:50

As a man you learn that the world is your urinal. Rock out with your **** out.

JOKUSPOKUS123 0

Monday 3 August 2009 23:49

How iffy! When i went to Fat Camp we all peed in hedges, but the lady instructor saw me and ran away screaming! Now my adventures stay in my wide collection of Marvel Comic Books! L-O-L ARE YOU ROFLING KIDS, ARE YOU GETTIN' ME DOG? peace out homeys.

EyeoftheSun 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 1:34

...You should probably teach your kid that he should piss and crap in the toilet. Just sayin'.

lilbuddy23 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 8:28

Mr. Deeds. lol

shankbob 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 17:40

I love how everyones raggin on WV, but you all know that every state has people just as goofy as our own. Oh and hell yea I remember when my grandpa taught me how to pee on a tree.