Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cooked a romantic dinner for my partner to celebrate our five year anniversary. I spent hours preparing a snazzy meal. Just as we sat down to eat, I realized I had forgotten to turn off the oven, and our dessert was now a charred lump of coal. We only realised this when the fire alarm in the kitchen went off. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for the girl I've been dating. Everything was going well until I accidentally set off the smoke alarm. The fire department showed up, and my date spent the rest of the evening flirting with one of the firefighters, so I guess we weren't actually dating? FML
Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, I thought I would be cute for my one year anniversary with my girlfriend, so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
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Top comments
beclaurela 18
Well at least you both are okay and a fire didn't start or anything. o.o
baconstrips 12
Cool story bro, tell it again.
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Comments (63)
Geary519 20
atleast this anniversary will be memorable
bReLiNg 18
Hey, now you are smokin' for your anniversary!
perdix 31
What do you care what's going on in the basement? It's not like you have some kind of kinky, S&M sex dungeon down there, or, . . . oh! . . .
raesos91 26
I think this is the part where you put a strobe light on and have yourself a rave party in the basement.
reborndarkangel 9
you had one smoking hell of an anniversary.
DanielleinDC 34
That was a nice thought, but part of having a fireplace means remembering to ensure it's unblocked before starting a fire. Hopefully you and your boyfriend will get a good laugh out of this eventually.
Chris20003 17
Sorry to hear OP, atleast it was a well thought out evenning.
buckdharma 38
I hope you at least got to enjoy the smoked sausage.
hallow239 3
That plan littlery back fired on you
NewFire911 5
Maybe you shouldn't use a fireplace until you know it's called opening the flue not unblocking the chimney. :)
coop7291 3
You have to be careful with fireplaces. My family once got carbon monoxide poisoning for doing the same thing.