By EosThorn - Sweden - V?xj?
Today, my best friend, who I've been in love with for nearly a decade, asked me to help him set up an online dating profile. During our 4-hour conversation, as he waded through the profiles, he complained that it was impossible for him to find a girl to have a meaningful conversation with. FML
EosThorn tells us more :
OP here. I don't know if I'm doing this correctly, but here goes. Thank you for the encouraging comments, even the harsh ones. I'm aware of how ridiculous this sounds... Trust me. I have two good female friends who I'm sure are tired of me harping away on this. It hasn't been years of me staring at him through foggy windows, all sad. I've dated other people and so has he. It wasn't easy because truly, I love him. Circumstances just didn't allow for us to be together... Whether he wanted to or not. So, I chose to keep his friendship and not risk it. We are adults now and things have changed. It's perfect, but I feel like so much time has passed that he no longer sees me as a girl he'd want to be with now that its possible. We have a special bond and as much as it devastates me to think he would reject me, it would kill me to see everything we have just turn into something ugly.
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By  TogeBara  |  12

These guys are saying to make your own profile, which is cute and all, but what if he finds someone else's before yours? No, the best option is to be upfront and talk to him about your feelings.

  Just_A_Tree  |  20

I can agree with this. I'm really clueless as to who likes me or thinks I'm cute. No girl really says it, so I just assume that they don't like me. I've never had a girlfriend, I want to date, but they never really make it clear if they feel the same. I'm not asking for a lot, just a blunt "Get your head out of your ass, and ask me out" will do.

Only two people have made it really clear to me that they liked me. One was complicated and didn't work out. The other only became clear in the last few weeks that she was in town, she moved to a different state shortly after.

Ladies... If you like a guy, let him know. Don't expect it back, because that's when you feel hurt. Don't make it a big deal, don't make it really change anything. And most importantly, don't wait too long.

Making it a big deal creates stress, just say "I kinda like you, if you feel the same, then we should hang out sometime. If not, well that's cool too."

If he doesn't feel the same, then just go with it. You can't force him to like you. Nothing sucks more than losing a friend because you both feel "awkward" after it.

Waiting too long leaves you with questions with no answers. "What if he said yes?" Don't create those questions, they only hurt. Instead, go out and just find the answer. Cause now, I'm left wondering "what if I told her how I felt from the start? Would we have dated?" And it really sucks to have those questions.

I wrote this towards girls, but it fully applies to guys as well. It applies to everyone!

Sorry for the amount of typing, but it had to be said!


Great reply, but sadly, a lot of people can't go back. It hurts too much to put it all out there and have the person reject you, so the friendship is over too. That's just the way it is.

  Just_A_Tree  |  20

Like I said, I'd rather tell her everything and be turned down, than to tell her nothing and wondering what her answer would have been. It takes a lot for any person to do that. It makes it easier to just keep in mind, that they are a person. They've been rejected, they've been frightened before, and they are not really different from you. What do you have to lose? It hurts when you don't say it, it really hard to say it, and if they say no, then you're hurt. But if they say yes, then I don't really know what happens, I haven't been in that position yet, but I'm confident I will be some day! So you either get hurt, or you feel extremely happy (I'm assuming). You won't ever know, until you ask.

Sometimes, the best way to see if somebody is worth your time is to just throw yourself out there! If they catch you, then they are worth having around. If they just stand by and watch you fall, don't worry. Somebody better is waiting to catch you.

Note: this is a metaphor. NOT instructions.

By  TogeBara  |  12

These guys are saying to make your own profile, which is cute and all, but what if he finds someone else's before yours? No, the best option is to be upfront and talk to him about your feelings.

  SpartanMerc  |  18

Agreed. You had a four hour conversation to make it known. You've been in love with him for over a decade, you should know how to tell him by now. Don't be scared, just take a chance.

  Brandi_Faith  |  33

I understand why everyone is saying she should tell him, but at the same time they've been friends for 10 years, chances are if he was interested he would've made a move by now. In order for her to tell him how she feels she would have to be willing to take the chance that their friendship might never be the same if he doesn't reciprocate her feelings and feels things are now awkward. If you do tell him Op, be sure to be light about it. Don't tell him you've been madly in love with him for 10 years, just let him know you kind of have feelings for him and wondered if he felt the same and ask if you guys should see where things could go.

  ohSNAPyall  |  26

Their friendship might never be the same, true. But does she really want to be stuck in state of unrequited love forever?

If he doesn't return your feelings, OP, you need to branch out.

  CursedOne  |  13

It isn't that simple, I've been in the same position and it's almost impossible to build up the courage to tell them or get over the person. You just end up wanting to be with them and never doing anything about it.

By  Lasagnaa  |  24

Don't be afraid to make the first move. Tell him how you feel and if he still doesn't want you, on to the next one. There's plenty of fish in the sea.