By EosThorn - 02/10/2014 01:33 - Sweden - V?xj?

Today, my best friend, who I've been in love with for nearly a decade, asked me to help him set up an online dating profile. During our 4-hour conversation, as he waded through the profiles, he complained that it was impossible for him to find a girl to have a meaningful conversation with. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 292
You deserved it 6 694

EosThorn tells us more.

OP here. I don't know if I'm doing this correctly, but here goes. Thank you for the encouraging comments, even the harsh ones. I'm aware of how ridiculous this sounds... Trust me. I have two good female friends who I'm sure are tired of me harping away on this. It hasn't been years of me staring at him through foggy windows, all sad. I've dated other people and so has he. It wasn't easy because truly, I love him. Circumstances just didn't allow for us to be together... Whether he wanted to or not. So, I chose to keep his friendship and not risk it. We are adults now and things have changed. It's perfect, but I feel like so much time has passed that he no longer sees me as a girl he'd want to be with now that its possible. We have a special bond and as much as it devastates me to think he would reject me, it would kill me to see everything we have just turn into something ugly.

Top comments

Make your own profile and get his attention, OP!

These guys are saying to make your own profile, which is cute and all, but what if he finds someone else's before yours? No, the best option is to be upfront and talk to him about your feelings.


Make your own profile and get his attention, OP!

Somehow I don't think it will come so easy to her if she hasn't already told him for 10 years... Still better late than never I suppose

See I did the same thing #18 and she was my best friend but now she hasn't talked to me 2 years. Maybe I'm just unlucky :(

Yeah I agree with 18, if you really like this person, don't let them slip through your fingers.

A decade? That's ten years, sorry but you've been unimaginably friendzoned.

Just tell how you feel and ask him out

Just tell him out right as i guy i can say that it would work

zRatio 6

You could always make one and then add him on there to give him the HINT HINT. Just Keep your hopes up :)

AnOriginalName 19

Yup. We guys are clueless about this sort of thing. OP, unless you've straight-up told him about your feelings, he probably doesn't know it.

Do ANYTHING possible to get his attention! First make a profile and add him, second with he doesn't get the hint JUST TELL HIM!!

I can agree with this. I'm really clueless as to who likes me or thinks I'm cute. No girl really says it, so I just assume that they don't like me. I've never had a girlfriend, I want to date, but they never really make it clear if they feel the same. I'm not asking for a lot, just a blunt "Get your head out of your ass, and ask me out" will do. Only two people have made it really clear to me that they liked me. One was complicated and didn't work out. The other only became clear in the last few weeks that she was in town, she moved to a different state shortly after. Ladies... If you like a guy, let him know. Don't expect it back, because that's when you feel hurt. Don't make it a big deal, don't make it really change anything. And most importantly, don't wait too long. Making it a big deal creates stress, just say "I kinda like you, if you feel the same, then we should hang out sometime. If not, well that's cool too." If he doesn't feel the same, then just go with it. You can't force him to like you. Nothing sucks more than losing a friend because you both feel "awkward" after it. Waiting too long leaves you with questions with no answers. "What if he said yes?" Don't create those questions, they only hurt. Instead, go out and just find the answer. Cause now, I'm left wondering "what if I told her how I felt from the start? Would we have dated?" And it really sucks to have those questions. I wrote this towards girls, but it fully applies to guys as well. It applies to everyone! Sorry for the amount of typing, but it had to be said!

Great reply, but sadly, a lot of people can't go back. It hurts too much to put it all out there and have the person reject you, so the friendship is over too. That's just the way it is.

Like I said, I'd rather tell her everything and be turned down, than to tell her nothing and wondering what her answer would have been. It takes a lot for any person to do that. It makes it easier to just keep in mind, that they are a person. They've been rejected, they've been frightened before, and they are not really different from you. What do you have to lose? It hurts when you don't say it, it really hard to say it, and if they say no, then you're hurt. But if they say yes, then I don't really know what happens, I haven't been in that position yet, but I'm confident I will be some day! So you either get hurt, or you feel extremely happy (I'm assuming). You won't ever know, until you ask. Sometimes, the best way to see if somebody is worth your time is to just throw yourself out there! If they catch you, then they are worth having around. If they just stand by and watch you fall, don't worry. Somebody better is waiting to catch you. Note: this is a metaphor. NOT instructions.

Update: As I was typing that last comment, a girl I like just messaged me! There is always hope!

These guys are saying to make your own profile, which is cute and all, but what if he finds someone else's before yours? No, the best option is to be upfront and talk to him about your feelings.

Agreed. You had a four hour conversation to make it known. You've been in love with him for over a decade, you should know how to tell him by now. Don't be scared, just take a chance.

I understand why everyone is saying she should tell him, but at the same time they've been friends for 10 years, chances are if he was interested he would've made a move by now. In order for her to tell him how she feels she would have to be willing to take the chance that their friendship might never be the same if he doesn't reciprocate her feelings and feels things are now awkward. If you do tell him Op, be sure to be light about it. Don't tell him you've been madly in love with him for 10 years, just let him know you kind of have feelings for him and wondered if he felt the same and ask if you guys should see where things could go.

Their friendship might never be the same, true. But does she really want to be stuck in state of unrequited love forever? If he doesn't return your feelings, OP, you need to branch out.

It isn't that simple, I've been in the same position and it's almost impossible to build up the courage to tell them or get over the person. You just end up wanting to be with them and never doing anything about it.

Lasagnaa 24

Don't be afraid to make the first move. Tell him how you feel and if he still doesn't want you, on to the next one. There's plenty of fish in the sea.

Play that Taylor Swift song for him Good Luck :)

She wants to date him, not bore the shit out of him.

Greenteamextreme 16

Hold a boombox over your head one night outside his window. Let that man know!

Have you told him? You should! Men, or at least me, aren't too good at picking up the clues. Just tell him :)

You could say that we're.....clueless.......I don't belong here anymore

The friend zone: it's not just a guy problem.

It's not a problem at all. It simply means that someone doesn't have sexual feelings for you. How hard is that for people to understand?!

Seriously, I think this "friend zone" is beyond ridiculous. If a girl acts like a bitch, realize she's not the right girl for you and move on.