Love: Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house,...

I still have a Star Wars pillow case on my bed, and I'd probably have My Little Pony sheets if I didn't have to worry about them agitating my mother's heart condition the first time she sees them.

calucalay 13

Tuesday 19 March 2013 18:45

YAY WE DID IT WE DID IT! WE DID IT YEAH! haha

pmadNess 16

Tuesday 19 March 2013 18:52

13- FML is supposed to be humorous! This fit quite appropriately. Now go untwist those panties before you choke to death!

Lissur 3

Tuesday 19 March 2013 18:53

Did he take you to Candy Mountain?

RoboCunnilingus 23

Tuesday 19 March 2013 19:25

I'm guessing you won't be knocking Boots.

katt_is_here 24

Tuesday 26 March 2013 17:09

Okay, that make me snort giggle out loud. Kudos.

baseballgirl25 6

Tuesday 19 March 2013 21:20

I'm pretty sure he was only using them because they were clean. No need to get your panties in a bunch.

Majora738 9

Tuesday 19 March 2013 21:42

Oh the life of a pedophile

Old_Iron_Sides 6

Tuesday 19 March 2013 22:16

Do you see the people having sex on me?...Where?...

Keywords

Love Dreams Jealousy Video games Gamers Geek AITA Family Parents Kids Relatable Gun control Animals Amazon Money Annoying Cute Birthday Health Weird Awkward Abuse Scams Social Media Mysterious Friends Miscellaneous Education School Teenagers

The Top

Today, my mom has two workbenches in her basement. They are so cluttered, they have all but disappeared. Now that she’s actually building something, she just uses the chest freezer as a workbench. I’m hungry and my dinner is in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 92

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 818

You deserved it 2 837

The Top

Today, my dad announced to the whole family that we will be having a vegetarian dinner this Christmas to make my step-mum happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 939

You deserved it 5 745

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 053

You deserved it 9 805

Today, my mom made me shovel our long driveway, as it had just snowed a couple of inches. It took me two and half hours to finish. She came out and said, "Wow, is this really the best you can do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 168

Today, I had morning sex before I had to rush to work, and everything decided to leak out of me over an hour later into my underwear. I quickly rinsed them in the bathroom and put them back on, only the wet patch then soaked into my pants when I sat down, so it looked like I’d majorly peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 1 287

Today, and for the past few days, my skin has been all blotchy and messed up so I tried a new face mask that was supposed to peel off easily. It ended up sticking to my skin like glue. I spent hours in front of the mirror trying to peel it off, one painful sliver at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 122

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 651

You deserved it 39 709