Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, exactly two years to the date when I thought my dream had came true when my partner surprised me with a kitten. Except two weeks later we had to give him away because my partner was too anxious about the cat destroying any of his stuff. I'm still heartbroken. FML
Today, I had to vacuum for the first time since getting my new kitten. I feared that he would freak out, so I took measures to make sure he would be comfortable, including a "safe room" with toys and a bed for him. As expected, he freaked out. But instead of going to his room, he jumped and grappled onto my face. FML
Today, I found out two things about my new cat: One, he is afraid of thunder. Two, his reaction to hearing a loud thunderclap is to jump very high in the air with his claws extended, then run like hell. I discovered this when he jumped and landed right on my face. My face now looks like I smashed it into a window. FML
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML
Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, I put on a new shirt and headed out to a café to meet a friend. Halfway through our conversation, I noticed my cat had followed me into the café after somehow making a nest in my bag. I looked down to see her tail sticking out of my purse, wagging like she owned the place. She is tiny, but still… how she managed to stay hidden for more than 10 minutes is beyond me. FML
Today, I thought my new kitten had gotten out, so I roamed the streets in the pouring rain, screaming his name for hours. Eventually, my fiance called and said he was home from work. I cried that the cat was gone, and he said, "What do you mean? He's on my lap." FML
Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML
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Top comments
ollie179 21
Everyone must of thought you were cool. Carrying pussy in your bag...
Pleonasm 36
Well the cat's out of the bag now.
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Comments (244)
ThisIsHard 5
I get how you're feline, OP. That must have been catastrophic.
Angio113 10
Really? A surprise visit from your kitty seems like a purrfect way to start your day to me!
TheBadAndGnarly 19
My kittens are like that and I just find it so darn cute. Except when they jump out with claws waving in your face, then they become pure evil.
DaggersEdge 6
the scratches on my arms and face tell me to agree with you
oj101 33
Aww. That's actually beyond adorable. I bet you're going to get a lot more pussy than just yours. Girls dig dat kinda shit.
kamikrazy 6
I disagree. I'm still a virgin.
Nekogami 14
I'm not. ;)
Hamz1989 13
Pussy wanted to get an education so it snuck into your bag while you were heading to school.
zandalee 20
One damn clever little pussy!
spikekutter 9
ask someone if they want to pet your pussy..
Kallian_fml 21
At least it wasn't your pet squirrel that jumped out of the bag. My poor teacher screamed "Rabies!" and bolted from the room.
Andr913 13
Yeah, I don't blame your teacher since she didn't know it was a pet. That'd freak me out too...or should I say drive me nutty? Also, OP: I hope the poor cat wasn't hurt by any of your books.
Kallian_fml 21
I'd feel worse for the teacher if she hadn't abandoned her class to the mercy of the squirrel, which was actually named Rabies.
anganilwen 2
Funny, because squirrels don't carry rabies :)
ICastillo 25
Oh my god!!!! That is so cute!!!! I want to play with your hide n go seek kitty.
ICastillo 25
Sorry for that moment of weakness guys. I had to punch a hole through my wall to feel manly again.
Jezzababy 10
Haha that's so cute! :3 did you get in trouble?
perdix 31
All our lives should be ****** so adorably!
DanielleinDC 34
Aw, he wanted to come to class with you! Silly kitty!