Animals: Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to...

By Kitten_Love - 28/01/2013 19:52 - France - Paris

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 108

You deserved it 6 623

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Same thing different taste

Time doesn't always heal

By Anonymous - 03/10/2022 09:30 - Israel - Ramat Gan

Today, exactly two years to the date when I thought my dream had came true when my partner surprised me with a kitten. Except two weeks later we had to give him away because my partner was too anxious about the cat destroying any of his stuff. I'm still heartbroken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 182

Panic!

By Only an orange cat... - 22/02/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I found out two things about my new cat: One, he is afraid of thunder. Two, his reaction to hearing a loud thunderclap is to jump very high in the air with his claws extended, then run like hell. I discovered this when he jumped and landed right on my face. My face now looks like I smashed it into a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 106

By nenette - 12/11/2014 22:50 - France

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 737

You deserved it 3 577

Wake up, human!

By inveralaska - 16/06/2016 21:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 036

You deserved it 2 355

Rocky VIX

By Anonymous - 29/09/2019 20:06

Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 354

By MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 670

You deserved it 3 440

By elliekilroy - 11/12/2010 00:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 162

You deserved it 29 123

By Anonymous - 27/05/2009 22:44 - United States

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 721

You deserved it 8 145

By crazy cat lady - 03/12/2014 23:24 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, I learned I'm allergic to the 5-month-old kitten we got 3 days ago. It loves me, follows me everywhere and sleeps on my lap in the evenings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 338

You deserved it 3 673

By shadokis - 12/09/2012 18:31 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 965

You deserved it 2 553

ollie179 21

Monday 28 January 2013 23:03

Everyone must of thought you were cool. Carrying pussy in your bag...

Pleonasm 35

Monday 28 January 2013 23:04

Well the cat's out of the bag now.

Comments

ThisIsHard 5

Monday 28 January 2013 23:06

I get how you're feline, OP. That must have been catastrophic.

Angio113 10

Tuesday 29 January 2013 15:43

Really? A surprise visit from your kitty seems like a purrfect way to start your day to me!

TheBadAndGnarly 19

Monday 28 January 2013 23:07

My kittens are like that and I just find it so darn cute. Except when they jump out with claws waving in your face, then they become pure evil.

DaggersEdge 6

Tuesday 29 January 2013 1:31

the scratches on my arms and face tell me to agree with you

oj101 33

Monday 28 January 2013 23:07

Aww. That's actually beyond adorable. I bet you're going to get a lot more pussy than just yours. Girls dig dat kinda shit.

kamikrazy 6

Tuesday 29 January 2013 7:28

I disagree. I'm still a virgin.

Nekogami 14

Tuesday 29 January 2013 13:56

I'm not. ;)

Hamz1989 13

Monday 28 January 2013 23:07

Pussy wanted to get an education so it snuck into your bag while you were heading to school.

zandalee 19

Tuesday 29 January 2013 8:34

One damn clever little pussy!

spikekutter 9

Monday 28 January 2013 23:09

ask someone if they want to pet your pussy..

Kallian_fml 21

Monday 28 January 2013 23:09

At least it wasn't your pet squirrel that jumped out of the bag. My poor teacher screamed "Rabies!" and bolted from the room.

Andr913 13

Monday 28 January 2013 23:20

Yeah, I don't blame your teacher since she didn't know it was a pet. That'd freak me out too...or should I say drive me nutty? Also, OP: I hope the poor cat wasn't hurt by any of your books.