Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog woke me up with the sound of vomiting. I immediately got up and tried to figure out what he was doing. After 30 minutes, he didn’t vomit, just kept making the sounds. I banished him from my presence for some more shuteye. FML
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML
Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML
Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML
Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML
Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML
Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
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Top comments
yankfan89 27
Be glad the dog wasn't puking on your face
raney150 0
Not to self: stop reading fmls while eating.
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Comments (104)
KiddNYC1O 22
Seems like your dog had a blast last night.
BRInyx 0
ohhhhh nnnnoooooo.... dont worry you're not alone ive woken up to that and other odd sounds my dog likes to produce
picturescrazy 24
Ahhh, the joys of owning a pet (: My cat makes the nastiest sound when she throws up, haha. She's polite enough to do it on the floor though.
roflmfao167 3
Ok umm Wat fantasy land r u living in tht u waking up to sunshine and birds?!
jgraham0218 5
I've been there.
CaptainBlack 18
Sounds like if that's how you expect to be woken up your life is pretty good.
Jeathrow 2
Believe it or not iv had that happen. Such a crappy way to wake up.
enterkey299 0
How peaceful:)
Crazberry 5
At least he wasn't trying to rape your leg like one of my cats did a few years ago....
littlelia 22
My grandpa pulled a popsicle stick out of his dogs but once..., he kept it... I've always kinda wondered about my grandpa...