Animals: Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the...

By Anonymous - 20/03/2012 11:57 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 616

You deserved it 2 843

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Same thing different taste

Top of the mornin' to ya!

By Anonymous Taco Man - 03/08/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 98

By Anonymous - 20/12/2012 19:50 - Spain - Santa Cruz De Tenerife

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 991

You deserved it 9 662

By Tom - 15/06/2009 10:07 - Israel

Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 450

You deserved it 3 588

By Annie - 22/11/2009 22:07 - Mexico

Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 664

You deserved it 6 010

By good_gravy - 20/02/2012 19:39 - United States

Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 216

You deserved it 3 630

By WhyMe - 27/11/2018 17:30

Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 473

You deserved it 310

By Brinty - 16/09/2009 02:43 - Australia

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 679

You deserved it 4 561

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5am to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 127

You deserved it 625

The gift

By Anonymous - 15/12/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 154

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/07/2019 14:00

Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 681

You deserved it 294

yankfan89 27

Tuesday 20 March 2012 18:49

Be glad the dog wasn't puking on your face

raney150 0

Tuesday 20 March 2012 18:53

Not to self: stop reading fmls while eating.

Comments

KiddNYC1O 20

Wednesday 21 March 2012 1:39

Seems like your dog had a blast last night.

BRInyx 0

Wednesday 21 March 2012 1:45

ohhhhh nnnnoooooo.... dont worry you're not alone ive woken up to that and other odd sounds my dog likes to produce

picturescrazy 24

Wednesday 21 March 2012 1:49

Ahhh, the joys of owning a pet (: My cat makes the nastiest sound when she throws up, haha. She's polite enough to do it on the floor though.

roflmfao167 3

Wednesday 21 March 2012 2:14

Ok umm Wat fantasy land r u living in tht u waking up to sunshine and birds?!

jgraham0218 5

Wednesday 21 March 2012 3:25

I've been there.

CaptainBlack 18

Wednesday 21 March 2012 4:31

Sounds like if that's how you expect to be woken up your life is pretty good.

Jeathrow 2

Wednesday 21 March 2012 7:42

Believe it or not iv had that happen. Such a crappy way to wake up.

enterkey299 0

Wednesday 21 March 2012 7:51

How peaceful:)

Crazberry 5

Wednesday 21 March 2012 12:57

At least he wasn't trying to rape your leg like one of my cats did a few years ago....

littlelia 22

Thursday 22 March 2012 4:58

My grandpa pulled a popsicle stick out of his dogs but once..., he kept it... I've always kinda wondered about my grandpa...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 568

You deserved it 2 470

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 584

You deserved it 16 950

The Top

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 433

You deserved it 2 608

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. How did I find out? I'm sitting in a hospital room being given antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 870

You deserved it 126

Today, I fell down a set of stairs while going into my basement. With a horrible pain in my left leg, I called out to my boyfriend to help me. Apparently a commercial about grass was more important. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 701

You deserved it 3 866

Today, my girlfriend tried to distract me from an argument I was winning by taking off her clothes for sex. Then she got mad when I told her to grow up and get dressed. By the way, the fight was over how she threw my mom's ashes in the trash, I don’t care if we never have sex again, I’m gonna win this argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 142

You deserved it 237

Today, I confirmed that my professor hates me. Weeks ago, I failed a paper for the first time, so I went to my professor, apologized profusely, and discussed my revision plan. I got his approval on my conclusions and added all the details he suggested. I then submitted my paper. I got my grade this morning: C-. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 259

Today, I was giving a tour for parents who wanted to send their kids to our school. One of the parents had a kid on crutches with what appeared to be a broken leg, so I asked him how he broke it. He replied, "I was born like this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 468

You deserved it 6 583

Same thing different taste

Top of the mornin' to ya!

The gift

Bad boy

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