Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog woke me up with the sound of vomiting. I immediately got up and tried to figure out what he was doing. After 30 minutes, he didn’t vomit, just kept making the sounds. I banished him from my presence for some more shuteye. FML
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML
Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML
Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML
Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML
Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML
Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
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Top comments
yankfan89 27
Be glad the dog wasn't puking on your face
raney150 0
Not to self: stop reading fmls while eating.
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Comments (104)
nemo88 8
O have had that happen!.
Czech_Zidane 14
This can not happen to me. Never. No dogs allowed into my apartment. Never ever :)
coolchick1130 9
Story of my life!
jmarz06 0
Gotta love mans best friend.
UsernameHere234 13
Happens to me like once a week almost with my cat. And before you say I'm a terrible owner for not trying to help him hear this. I volunteer at a vet clinic and have had two vets look at him.
livkoko 15
I'm afraid I've been there too! Woke up to my cat vomming right next to my head. Changing sheets at 3am was not a pleasant experience, FYL.
lukemack 4
I hate fmls like this if I where to post fmls like this I would be posting one every day
medussa1 0
You should take your dog to the vet or something
UsernameHere234 13
There is nothing wrong with one vomit unless of course you find something in it that could mean he's bleeding or blocked in which case please do.
KRiddle 15
Delicious... =/
turtlegal101 0
me too