Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML
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Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML
Today, my roommate's boyfriend professed his love to me. I kicked him out, and he stood outside the door calling my name until he saw my roommate coming down the hall. They both came in and he acted like nothing happened. FML
Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML
Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
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Top comments
Zimmington 21
Next time start tickling his feet so It's kind of a threesome
ImAFaker 29
Doesn't matter had sex?
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Comments (91)
amulya 14
Time for a new roommate...
edanielleh 21
Time to get a new apartment? Or you could record it as blackmail to make her move out
ComoEsJuan 24
Or, just make them patch the hole and move on..
emirie 21
"There's a hole in the bedroom wall, guess we gotta move!"
edanielleh 21
haha, i think i should explain :) i did not mean one hole in the wall means a entire new apartment! I meant that op might want to move to a new apartment to avoid this crazy couple. on rereading my comment though, it kinda sounded like what you thought :)
zoepie 7
At least you know your roommate was happy. Maybe they could move where they won't hurt something next time?
streetriots 9
You can't fix the wall that late. So why stop?
TheCerealKiller 24
Grab some popcorn and enjoy the free show.
False_Stupidity 41
Popcorn takes 1-2 minutes to pop at best... I think he would finish long before the popcorn had popped
kurodansei 16
You'll be just in time for round 2!
iknowiwantyou 13
#15, your username is quite adorbz
Zebediabolical 43
The damage is already done so what's the point in stopping and making 3 people unhappy?
perdix 29
Why would they stop? Have you ever had sex before? If you're doing it right, there are very few reasons not to finish -- not to mention the DSBs!
JMichael 25
You're not finished till you're finished.
noobsatin 19
when you're in the moment, you're in the moment.
Jemm_fml 29
Look through the hole like this. Never change your expression.
SergeantSnuggles 12
Best comment on this FML. LOOOL
06cobaltSSftw 7
lolololololololololol