Today, in spite of 2 different types of bug spray, underwear, and jeans, I discovered not one, but two mosquito bites on my vagina. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I'm on a camping trip, and despite the lovely weather, I'm wearing long clothing so the mosquitoes can’t sting me. Unfortunately, nobody seems to have told THEM that. FML
Today, I now have a plantar wart, chigger bites, and a brown recluse spider bite all in the same foot. FML
Today, it was an unusually warm day after many weeks of typical subfreezing temperatures, so my family and I went for a walk in the park. We all came back with mosquito bites. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
Today, as I was walking out of a park, I bent to examine a mosquito bite I had. As I looked up, I noticed a nearby couple staring and whispering in abject horror before calling their kids over to get bug-sprayed, pointing me out. Terrified, they immediately complied. It’s not even my worst bite. FML
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Top comments
Glowworm56 27
All mosquitoes who bite are female, so you basically got bitten by a lesbian vampire.
Inkoseh 33
Are you sure they're...mosquito bites? I mean, tick and bedbug bites are very similar. Could look bigger/smaller depending if you're allergic or not. Both are itchy!
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Comments (26)
lestatsbride87 3
camping sex?
whiskey'swino 15
It is the littlest pricks that are the most annoying. Especially when they make you itch afterward.
boopingsnoot 25
On the skin around the vulva, or on the mucous membranes themselves? Depending on location, could be anything from an ingrown hair to a citrus allergy (which can, oddly, manifest with herpes-like symptoms). Maybe go to tour obgyn?
araeisdead 1
Its ok, last week my 5 years old daughter was bitten by 2 fireants on her vag they got her on e on each lip, after we had no idea they were on her bath towel. she got out the shower n grabbed the towel to dry off, got bit, and started screaming in agony for like 10 minutes it was just getting worse n worse. and then of course, she is allergic to fireants so her vag swelled up really bad she had to be admitted to ER. hope it makes you feel better lol, she is doing ok and healing nicely.
king2018 3
don't scratch them, it'll make God cry
notatfault 8
When I was reading this FML the two thoughts that crossed my mind was "Owww" and "How?".
bltoth 8
Just wondering, are you a man who thinks he's a woman or are you a woman who thinks she's a man?
tounces7 28
At least it's better than having them on your chest, no?
Engin Yirci 9
in the meanwhile there are mosquitoes getting more lucky then me. FML
paulleb012 21
Honey, I don’t think those are mosquito bites 😬