Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent an hour meticulously crafting the perfect text to ask my crush out. Just as I hit send, I realized I'd accidentally sent a screenshot of the conversation to my crush instead. Now they know my level of commitment: zero. FML
Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML
Today, while taking a rather large crap, I sent my sister a joking text saying, "I'm shitting my ass inside out." Turns out I sent it to my entire list of contacts. FML
Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friend's house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said, "Who is this? Stop texting me." FML
Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML
Today, I sent a risky text to my crush and immediately put my phone on airplane mode so I wouldn’t spend the next hour anticipating and responding to his reply. I forgot I did this and spent the whole day thinking he was ignoring me, but when I switched it back on, I'd not received a single message. FML
Today, I sent a heartfelt text to my crush confessing my feelings. I was over the moon when I saw they were typing a response. Turns out they were just asking if I could cover their shift at work. Rejected and now on the night shift. FML
Today, I was on a bus with my friend's older brother. He was kinda cute. I went to message my best friend, telling her how cute this guy was, how he was kinda packing downstairs, and how adorable he was. Two minutes later, he wordlessly turned his phone screen to me. It was the message. I sent it to him by mistake. FML
Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams' phone number. After texting her "Hey, is this Stephanie?" I got response saying "Sorry bro, I know how you feel, she did the same thing to me." FML
Today, I was trying to break up with my boyfriend over text. I was being really careful to phrase it nicely, and I hit send with a sigh of relief. Except I sent the text to my mom, who now keeps sending me unsolicited advice about my "love life" with an occasional "You go, girl!" FML
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Top comments
Maddiiee3011 13
Just breaking the ice
RarityRoyale 17
This is why you always keep an eye on your phone if you have shitty friends or relatives around
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Comments (105)
abhi95 31
You can Diss your sister together :)
Morqan_Freeman 14
Your sister is either a prankster or she was just releasing self hatred feelings towards you to make herself feel better. In any case, you can just tell your crush what had happened and if he is understanding and mature he'll have a laugh and/or say no worries! So don't worry too much OP.
jazzy_123 20
uhh what? Do you not have siblings? Our duties are to make our brothers and sisters suffer! The same goes to close cousins, best friends, etc.
Morqan_Freeman 14
I do have siblings all at least half the age younger then me. Make them suffer? Thats okay I'll pass.
rhysfucker 24
After two years "hey" was all you initially had? Weak.
Madridsta1999 7
This is one of the reasons I never let siblings or cousins near my phone...
Meanmommy02 11
My cousin hacks my phone all the time and posts on Facebook stupid thing like I like golden showers.. Ugh you'd think I'd learn..
Gittoh 21
I always read my texts before I send them, and if you planned on just writing 'hey', then how could you not notice that the text had gotten bigger? I say YDI.
arandomusernameaa 20
It clearly says that OP's sister added to the message and then sent it...
slyde32 12
"I put my phone down not ready to send it yet, a while later I heard it buzz" did you skip half the fml? she even said her sister sent it, I wouldn't notice the text getting longer if I couldn't see my phone.
rockhead1270 5
#20 is a dumbass
JoleneDaniel 12
the things people make up to get an fml posted.
arandomusernameaa 20
What makes you think this was made up? it's not uncommon to have a sister/brother that's mean...
clrichmond2009 24
my sister would've pulled something like that in a heartbeat back when we were younger! hell, the brat is 21 now and would probably still pull something like that.
mdsummrsnght 17
My brother did something similar, only regarding "poop" & sent it to a group of friends. Then he erased it. I still don't know to whom, or what it said...
challan 19
tisk tisk... one of the fml rules is not calling shenanigans! Besides, this one is perfectly believable.
gracehi 33
37, Your brother is a master troll.
interesting33 37
It's fine - just say your sister stole your phone - and then say "how are you?"
AloysiusWeasley 15
That. Also, disown the coont sister.
Labyrinth13 20
Passcode protect your phone and reply that your idiot sister thought that would be funny. Decent icebreaker compared to a weak start like "hey".
LIFL 3
Just text him back, blame that dastardly auto correct. It could happen, right?
Epikouros 32
Autocorrect for what? I'm a shifty profiteer? I've a shiny prostate? That's hardly better.
gracehi 33
"Hey, I'm a shitty prostitute." "Um... What?" "Stupid autocorrect. I meant hey, I will bear your children." Much classier.
LIFL 3
Yeah, a much more classy opening gambit than the whole "I'm a shitty prostitute" thing! lol
LIFL 3
Lol, well those are certainly other options, but I was thinking more along the lines of "I'm a sensual pachyderm" or "I'm always silently praying (that you'll notice me)" you know, happy things :)
worldclassrager 41
That's sneaky...how did the rest of the conversation go...