Love: Today, I went into a small coffee shop. In line, a guy came...

By oopsiecoffee - 09/04/2009 06:40 - Canada

Today, I went into a small coffee shop. In line, a guy came up to me and was like "I haven't seen you here before, are you new in town?" and I replied with "Oh, no I've lived here for years. The coffee here is crap, though, so I only come here when Starbucks is full" He's the owner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 318

You deserved it 76 706

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Same thing different taste

By the customer is always a cunt - 20/12/2013 21:48 - United States - Sarasota

Today, a guy came into the small coffee shop I work at, and got angry because I wouldn't accept his Starbucks gift card as valid payment. When I told him we clearly aren't a Starbucks, he said "It's all the same shit" and ended up throwing a punch at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 216

You deserved it 3 145

By Jebus - 07/06/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 130

You deserved it 60 985

Creepy

By Finn - 05/07/2016 06:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went to grab a coffee at a new café in town. While sipping my coffee, I noticed a man staring at me through the window. I thought he was browsing the menu before I looked up mid-sip to him staring at me in the eye, sucking on his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 484

You deserved it 967

By joanikens - 26/03/2016 19:02 - United States - Buena Park

Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 091

You deserved it 6 117

By lisa321 - 02/04/2009 02:36 - United States

Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee. The employees told me that there was no more coffee. I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day. They had been yelling back the whole time. Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 519

You deserved it 116 428

See you soon

By CoffeeBoy - 06/11/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I went to meet a potential client at Starbucks all the way across town about designing his website. I was extremely excited because I really need the work. I sat for an hour. Turns out he was across the street, at the other Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 182

You deserved it 6 481

By lonely girl - 11/03/2013 04:17 - United States

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 935

You deserved it 4 383

By nononame - 10/03/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I emailed the guy I like to ask him on a coffee date. He responded, declining by telling me he never drinks coffee. We met at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 167

You deserved it 4 184

Automaton

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 14:00

Today, I had to admit that my coffee addiction is really bad when I woke up in a Starbucks with no memory of how I got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 647

Joe Smooth

By Anonymous - 09/12/2023 18:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I thought I was being smooth by using a pickup line on a cute barista. I confidently said, "Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears." She replied, "Actually, I'm a barista, and everyone else is waiting for their coffee. Next!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 1 104

DealerCamel 2

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:01

Well, don't speak your mind to strangers, then, I guess.

Ninjahippy 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:03

Meh? At least he got some honest customer feedback.

Comments

Broc 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 21:18

Starbucks coffee tastes like shit. It's like it's burnt or something.

Ole_Stinker 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 21:21

I like a good local coffee shop as much as the next guy, but if the local coffee shop sucks, you don’t have to go there, nor should you.

dwights 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 21:26

HOW IS THIS AN FML! PLEASE EXPLAIN!

Mwoehaha 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 21:43

Well, if you said: compared to... you wouldn't be lying and still be polite. Be creative, people!

beany212 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 21:46

Hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

mattiscool 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 21:46

im not saying this is fake, but isnt it this similar from the FML a day or 2 ago? from when a guy was trying to steal jeans and then he told someone he was stealing it not knowing its the manager.

ffpoisongirl 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 21:59

Wow, way2subtle. Seriously though, that could have been phrased so much better. "No, I've lived here a while; I just happen to prefer Starbucks, and the line there was too long." Even if he weren't the manager, the manager could have been there and overheard. Hope you didn't drink their coffee; somebody probably spit in it after you gave them that gem of wisdom. And no offense other commenters, but that was definitely NOT constructive criticism. Saying something is crap doesn't tell them how to fix it; all it does is say somebody thinks it's shitty. If you were to say "The coffee is too weak" or "It tastes kind of burnt" or "It tastes like they use cheap grounds," THAT would be constructive. Otherwise it's just being a bit of a douche.

Calaura9 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 22:17

At least he wasn't cute...

jujube123_fml 1

Thursday 9 April 2009 22:34

i don't understand why you said the coffee place sucks in the first place... the person you said it to clearly likes getting coffee there if they can spot out someone that hasn't bought coffee there before... so really by making that comment to anyone in that situation, even if it hadn't been the owner, would have been rude.