Today, I watched my mother pull her pants down and, using her hands, feel her butt crack to check if she'd had had an accident. She then pulled her pants up, went into the kitchen and touched stuff in the refrigerator. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. She was looking for the remote, blindly trying to put her hand into the sofa. Instead, she shoved her hand down the back of my pants. FML
Today, while volunteering at a senior care center, I witnessed a woman begin to remove her trousers. Then she began tearing apart her diaper. She then began to explore her body. I was unable to stop her. FML
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML
Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML
Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML
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Top comments
AnthonyCS5 19
Why in the hell would you sit there and watch that?!?!? I would have looked away immediately at the sight of something suspicious!
zainman13 26
Wait till you find out the secret ingredient to all her special cooking. Love I tell you, it's love!
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Comments (22)
AnthonyCS5 19
Why in the hell would you sit there and watch that?!?!? I would have looked away immediately at the sight of something suspicious!
zainman13 26
Wait till you find out the secret ingredient to all her special cooking. Love I tell you, it's love!
Steve115s 7
Burn the house down. Who knows what else she has touched after she has done that
Colon_Man 17
You need help packing your bags?
Shabnam Moghal 14
Well, she HAS been feeding you since birth...NOW you complain?
Aiden89 23
I was eating breakfast when I read this...ugh
Mightytall 35
And that kids, is how fecal matter and bacteria get into the food chain. Bon Appetit!
RichardPencil 30
Sounds like a highly-effective weight-loss plan! Let's brand it as the "Eat Shit and Die Diet."
acmariner99 25
That can't be unseen
Mooglefox 23
I take it you have never been to the grocery area of a Wal Mart before...