Today, I was upset after a fight with my husband, so I cried alone in the bedroom. My 4-year-old son then comes in and hugs me. I thought he was trying to comfort me, but he then told me he had to go get his quarter my husband had promised to pay him if he made me shut up. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was crying after having argued with my boyfriend. My mom saw me, she asked, "Why are you crying? Don't you have homework to do?" FML
Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
Today, my mom's friend came over. She brought her son and claimed that we could have bonding time. I ended up chasing the five-year-old around the house for an hour. After they'd left, my mom saw that the little kid had broken a lamp and a clock. She then said I had to pay for it using my money. FML
Today, I yelled at my oldest son for picking his little brother up by the throat. Only to then be yelled at my my mother-in-law for hurting his feelings. FML
Today, my son got in an argument with my boyfriend, packed up his stuff, and moved in with his dad. Not five minutes later I saw my boyfriend doing his stupid happy dance. When angrily confronted, he admitted he orchestrated every argument for months until he got the result he wanted, my son gone. FML
Today, I had to give my four year-old daughter some tough love, which I hate doing. When she ran away crying, my son, her twin brother, looked at me and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself." FML
Today, when I got home from the store, the dog was wiping his ass on the carpet, my two older boys were brawling, my youngest was crying because he'd broken a glass and cut himself, and my husband was in the kitchen, eating the cake I'd told him to leave alone. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to help me with groceries, since the last of my money went to last week's groceries. His response was to start a fight, then tell me it's my fault my daughter acts the way she does, which is when he finally got me to break down and cry. I'm pregnant with his kid, and I also pay 90% of our bills. FML
Today, after a fight, my boyfriend brought me a soda that exploded when I opened it. Furious at his constant childish bullshit, I threw his ass out. Two hours later, my son confessed that he'd shaken the cans as a joke. I tried to call my boyfriend, but he'd blocked my number. FML
Today, my husband broke a set of dishes, told me I had to clean it all up, and stormed out of the house. It’s now 3:30am and he still hasn’t come home. Our 5 year-old son keeps asking about him. What warranted all this? Asking him how his day went. FML
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Top comments
bigmoney12 3
Aww that's messed up
yankeebaceball 1
Good Idea! You should've given him a dollar to do something to return the favor though!
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Comments (143)
JustJaredfied 0
How come when I look on here almost all the my husband is a jerk stories are from New York?
nite66 21
Your kid is a genius!
juanitad 3
If it was my husband I would go punch him and then ask him if it was worth it.
astonmartin007 4
Sorry to be an ass but that's ******* hilarious!
wriptidez 0
ur hubby is instilling bad character in him stop ot while possible
Pushka 8
Well can't say for sure what this is about, if the 'shut up' part was interprited as that or was literal. Us girls tend to interprit things sometimes. Either way OP ending up crying in her bedroom and having to be suited by her 4 y.o. is not good end result, you shud get some therapy if u wanna work on ur marrige ( that is asuming u can't work it out by yourselves ) or just divorce if this is patern behavour. OP shud be thinking about her son and how their fights and her crying will affect him as a future, when you become a parent you need to put your child's wellbeeing first, anything short of that makes u a bad parent. Srsly this is just not good for the son, he is the only one deserving sympathy here becouse bouth the OP n the husband are adults, making their own bad decidions and if they get hurt by them it's their own fault.
jedielf 23
Dear lordy, some people don't know how to display the necessary tact for conflict resolution.
Adman567 9
Today, my wife wouldn't shut up after a fight we had. I had to pay more 4 year old son to get her to shut up. FML. Nah, jokes. I don't mean to be mean, just a joke. But seriously that sucks.
RavenNight 0
why did you marry such an a**hole?
misssmisax 1
Wow