Today, I was trying to listen to a phone message I'd received....

By ihatelife - 14/5/2011 23:17 - Canada

Today, I was trying to listen to a phone message I'd received. I was excited because I'd been waiting for the coaches to call me back for tryouts for a week now. Trying to figure out how to listen to it, I ended up deleting it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17202

You deserved it

28370

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Creepy

Boozehound alert

Deep-seated resentment

By birthday girl - 27/10/2012 00:14 - Australia

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36067

You deserved it

2140

Favorite

By Anonymous - 18/11/2012 05:05 - United States - New Cumberland

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

12082

You deserved it

30336

Favorite

By Gottalovepeople - 31/12/2018 01:34

Today, I found out that my ten-page paper, which has taken me two months to construct perfectly and is worth 30% of my grade, was on the wrong book. It’s due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4091

You deserved it

2240

Favorite

By kas - 30/4/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was on my way home when I saw a cop hiding behind a Budget truck. I immediately slowed down and prayed that he wouldn't give me a ticket. Then I realized I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29108

You deserved it

95299

Favorite

By miseventshappen - 9/11/2009 05:49 - United States

Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41527

You deserved it

4979

Favorite

By justine - 13/12/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43834

You deserved it

3057

Favorite

By artdegreemyass - 21/7/2012 21:14 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26521

You deserved it

3096

Favorite

By yulis - 30/11/2013 19:21 - United States - Hagerstown

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51328

You deserved it

7250

Favorite

By FLkiki - 24/7/2020 20:00

All or nothing

Today, I found out I didn’t get a job because I'd flashed the owner whilst drunk. Guess my tits weren’t better than my resume. FML

I agree, your life sucks

507

You deserved it

1808

Favorite

By whitey - 9/1/2011 11:11 - Australia

Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29265

You deserved it

4217

Favorite

By boundandgagged - 13/1/2010 19:36 - United States

Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41366

You deserved it

4960

Favorite

By brokenhearted - 5/12/2012 11:29 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my boyfriend sent me so many nice texts that he made me fall in love with him that little bit more. It turns out he was sweetening me up before telling me he cheated on me the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34030

You deserved it

2581

Favorite

By Evalynne - 6/4/2013 12:55 - United States - New Orleans

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44717

You deserved it

21763

Favorite

By puzzled - 24/2/2010 12:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32583

You deserved it

3204

Favorite

By Anonymous - 9/9/2019 08:00 - United States - Rahway

Double dipping

Today, I found out that I mean nothing to the man I have loved for over a year. He has been taking vacations with another woman, and is in fact, on a vacation with her right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1747

You deserved it

198

Favorite

By stankness - 22/3/2013 15:01 - United States

Today, I had to endure a long face-to-face conversation with a coworker who had fierce BO. He had his fingers interlaced around the back of his head the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34231

You deserved it

2769

Favorite

By scammed - 18/12/2011 05:18 - Canada

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

I agree, your life sucks

36791

You deserved it

2857

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/11/2009 17:50 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she found a lot of red lipstick on my neck. The red lipstick was from her lipstick because she came over in the middle of the night when she was really drunk, then left. She refuses to listen to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39109

You deserved it

3174

Favorite

By Anonymous - 2/7/2019 13:01 - United States - Pomona

Today, at the ripe old age of 23, I now no longer have no control over my farts when I cough. My many young students find this hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1479

You deserved it

150

Favorite

By unlovedd - 22/3/2009 05:45 - United States

I agree, your life sucks

66583

You deserved it

4671

Favorite

By theyreallydosmell - 4/2/2011 00:59

Today, I came home from a vacation. It had snowed, so I decided to shovel the front walk. While shoveling, I found a dead skunk frozen solid on the sidewalk. I tried to pick it up with my shovel, but it stuck. It won't move 'til the ice melts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27554

You deserved it

3041

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/1/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13835

You deserved it

40222

Favorite

By Carmen - 26/2/2011 13:57 - United States

Today, I painted an area I had carefully sanded, cleaned, and taped off. I pulled a fan out of the closet to help dry it faster. I turned the fan on, and a million dust particles flew off onto the wet paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13774

You deserved it

31774

Favorite

By still poor - 5/12/2014 06:17 - United States - Carlisle

Today, my dad texted me saying he had "big news." I immediately called, thrilled, because I assumed he meant that he finally found a job and that our money troubles were over. The "big news" was him being excited at seeing an actor from one TV show he likes in another TV show. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32476

You deserved it

2827

Favorite

By wtfrelationship - 21/10/2009 04:07 - Singapore

Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30544

You deserved it

11421

Favorite

By Anonymous - 9/1/2011 18:25 - United States

Today, it's been a full week since my last orthodontist appointment and I still can't eat anything besides Slimfast and pudding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25353

You deserved it

3246

Favorite

By ProExist - 15/3/2019 21:00 - United States

Today, MLK Jr. Day, I was told that since my other co workers are on vacation, I have to be at work Today. No one else is at work Today...or on any other holiday. Also I am the only black person at my office. The irony, FML

I agree, your life sucks

2350

You deserved it

223

Favorite

By Mr_poole - 18/5/2013 20:06 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50765

You deserved it

5298

Favorite

By keifer13 - 3/6/2009 05:22 - United States

Today, it was my high school graduation. I brought my camera to capture these last memories, only to discover that the batteries were dead. When I got home and went to change them, I realized they were not dead, they were just put in the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15577

You deserved it

56090

Favorite

By irulan - 14/1/2020 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Single shot

Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2362

You deserved it

541

Favorite

By unknown - 8/3/2014 00:53 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mess around at my workplace's parking lot. Things got hot and steamy, but in the middle of it all, there came a bang at my car window. My frantic boss had seen us and thought I was being attacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35920

You deserved it

28641

Favorite

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31676

You deserved it

13924

Favorite

By Anonymous - 3/9/2012 09:45 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

32615

You deserved it

5681

Favorite

By Anonymous - 30/5/2020 20:00

It never ends

Today, I had a "nightmare" where I found out I had more homework than I originally realized, and spent the entire dream doing homework. There is no escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1413

You deserved it

156

Favorite

By HarvestMoon_gal - 24/7/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29013

You deserved it

10571

Favorite

By terrible kenny - 30/1/2011 09:24 - United States

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11121

You deserved it

60473

Favorite

By Anonymous - 24/11/2009 05:57 - United States

Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10608

You deserved it

29162

Favorite

By Anonymous1221 - 21/11/2016 07:12

Today, I was told by the guy I've liked for years that he would date me if he was straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12033

You deserved it

1428

Favorite

By her mom raised her - 17/5/2014 17:30 - Mexico

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43691

You deserved it

6998

Favorite

By wf - 14/9/2011 18:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42812

You deserved it

4453

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By MissAwesomeness | 4

#2513276 - Sunday 15 May 2011 9:27

or you can just call them back?

By rups | 0

#2513269 - Sunday 15 May 2011 9:26

there is a option to undelete a voicemail

COMMENTS

By doggiemcwoofwoof | 2

#2513252 - Sunday 15 May 2011 9:25

lol to undelete press one

06tc | 0

#2513637 - Sunday 15 May 2011 11:29

if you just deleted it go to your trash pile quick! you can re hear it

fatgirllovesfml | 0

#2513666 - Sunday 15 May 2011 11:45

no it's 69 not 1 :/

jazziness | 12

#2514053 - Sunday 15 May 2011 14:52

I think it's different on different phones or phone company

EvilPotato | 14

#2565537 - Thursday 26 May 2011 4:21

and OP that is not a reason to hate life.

By IMveryHUNGRY | 3

#2513263 - Sunday 15 May 2011 9:26

press 7 to undelete !

By rups | 0

#2513269 - Sunday 15 May 2011 9:26

there is a option to undelete a voicemail

By MissAwesomeness | 4

#2513276 - Sunday 15 May 2011 9:27

or you can just call them back?

raider27 | 7

#2514610 - Sunday 15 May 2011 18:01

Exactly what I thought. Why not call and explain the situation?

EvilPotato | 14

#2516734 - Monday 16 May 2011 4:42

well OP your an idiot "looking for a way to listen to it" last time I checked there's only one way to play a message, the "play" button

By AmberlovesJb | 0

#2513283 - Sunday 15 May 2011 9:28

Call Them Back?

By ollie179 | 21

#2513293 - Sunday 15 May 2011 9:29

just turn up

By teresa96706 | 29

#2513295 - Sunday 15 May 2011 9:29

If you gave them your email, check your email. :)

By Livinia | 11

#2513329 - Sunday 15 May 2011 9:39

I thought it was possible to undelete a voicemail message...

boredSOLDIER | 33

#2513960 - Sunday 15 May 2011 14:09

so did I

losemymind | 0

#2514632 - Sunday 15 May 2011 18:04

It is. You just go back to listen to the original messages and then it will ask you to listen to messages that you've deleted and then you can undelete it.

By Imabigbeast | 5

#2513332 - Sunday 15 May 2011 9:40

It was meant to be...

By Michigan_Girl | 0

#2513348 - Sunday 15 May 2011 9:44

You can try calling back and say your voicemail cut them off mid sentence so you didn't get a chance to hear the whole thing.