Today, I was taking a bus ride home, listening to some music. The music stopped and I assumed my iPod's battery had run out. Turns out someone managed to steal it, leaving my earphones in. I didn't feel a thing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I left my headphones on the bus and didn't realize until I got home. I used the tracking app and saw they were moving around the city. I followed the location for half an hour before realizing the signal was coming from my own neighborhood because the headphones had been sitting in my backpack the entire time. FML
Today, I was walking home, when I realized I didn't have my phone on me. After retracing my steps, I realized that I'd been listening to music from my phone the entire time. FML
Today, I was listening to my music on my phone through my Bluetooth wireless headphones. While listening, I turned my music and the power on my headphones off for a bit. I thought I'd lost them when I got home. They were so loosely fit over my ears that I felt like an idiot when I realized they were still on my head. FML
Today, I was on a crowded el train listening to my iPod touch. As I stepped off the train, my headphones got caught on a man's jacket and my iPod fell on the floor. The doors shut. I then watched the train pull away. With my iPod on it. FML
Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML
Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML
Today, I fell asleep listening to my music and tanning at the beach. Not only did I wake up with a sunburn, but my iPhone had been stolen. FML
Today, after a long workout I come back to my locker, to find my lock had been cut. I looked inside realizing my phone and iPod had been stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, my keys were gone. I ran out to the parking lot to find an empty spot where my car had once been parked. FML
Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML
Today, I helped two people find the central station on my way home. As a thank you, they mugged me and stole my wallet and iPod Touch. FML
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Top comments
CaptnNorway 10
Impressive!
rg350dx 29
I'm imagining OP's iPod is playing, "You've been hit by, you've been struck by-" Thief unplugs the iPod, snatches it and sings "A smooth criminal." The thief then proceeds to moonwalk off the bus with the rest of the occupants performing choreographed dance.
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Comments (86)
perdix 31
And this is why we never ASSUME, because when you ASSUME, you make a CRIME VICTIM of U + ME SAD.
VeganVampyre 27
Oh, Perdix, that's not how it goes! ASSUME doesn't even have enough letters for all that. That'd have to be something like... CRIVICUMESAD. You should never crivicumesad.
YeahYeahYeahOK 6
If your earphones cost more than the iPod, you're good. If the iPod cost more.... Then it blows. If it had been me and I was even half aware on what was going on I would be in a lineup for who killed Mr. x. I would have ****** the perp up for that shit.
DocBastard 40
Yes, I'm sure you're a total badass that has the capability of "******* up" a pickpocket. I'm absolutely positive you aren't exaggerating at all and wouldn't just look around bewildered like the rest of us would in this situation. I congratulate you on your bassassness.
perdix 31
#21, is that "bass" like the fish that rhymes with "ass," or "bass" like low-frequency musical tones (recently featured in a Nicki Minaj hit) that is a homophone of "base?" Both would work in this context.
DocBastard 40
Damn it. BastardCorrect© didn't fix that. I'll have to have a word with my dev team.
Ki11erC 18
While I would check to see if it had died as I have thought about the OP's prob, I would still leave headphones in, stops the majority of people trying to strike up random conversations.
hannahsnyder69 16
I'm shocked someone had the guts to try to pull that off
VeganVampyre 27
Then you've got a lot to learn about this world...
thatbaybay 8
Go to iCloud you might be able to track it
jujubeef 10
top-notch pickpocketer!!!
thatnucca 36
Presumption is definitely the mother of all **** ups... iPods don't heat up that badly unless they're around or under a direct heat source... And when that happens, you check on your investment to make sure that's the actual cause of it going off as it displays that message on it...
omgitslian 6
heat up?
CharresBarkrey 16
It seems as though YOU'VE presumed that OP had even mentioned heat at all... Go back and read it again.
VeganVampyre 27
28, are you sure you read the same FML as the rest of us? Because I don't really feel like you did for some reason...
UnluckyGenius 21
Which is why you should stay aware of your surrounding when out in public.
Jharrist89 12
Try to invest in some JayBirds. I own a pair. You'll be able to hide your device after that.
Omniprism 15
Wait a second, why weren't you holding it or in your pocket?
doodlecloud 27
I'll be honest, I frequently leave my iPod or phone on the seat next to me if it's free...I know it's not a brilliant idea...never had it taken before though!