Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was performing for a fairly large crowd with my band. I decided it would look cool to stand on one of the speakers and sing from there. It did look pretty cool for a bit until I tried to step off and fell face-first on the floor mid-song. FML
Today, I was at a karaoke bar. After a few drinks, I gave it a go. Halfway through “Total Eclipse of the Heart” I got so into it, I knocked over the mic stand. The mic flew off, hit the DJ, who then hit the emergency stop button, cutting off the music. I froze as the bar erupted into laughter. I did get a free Coke for my “performance,” which was something. FML
Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML
Today, while playing a gig with my band, I tried pulling the classic "playing the guitar with one foot on the monitor" rock-star pose. However, I misjudged the height of the monitor, didn't notice the puddle of beer in front of it, slipped, and fell off the stage into the security guy. FML
Today, I went to a karaoke bar that my girlfriend works at. I'm a halfway decent singer, so I picked out a song we both liked and decided to give it a go. Halfway through the song I sneezed, tripped, fell off the stage and knocked myself out in front of my girlfriend and fifty bar patrons. FML
Today, I had my first gig with my new band. I was concentrating on my guitar during the second song when I tripped over the singer's microphone cable, hit my head on the bass drum, and blacked out. When I came to, people were applauding, apparently thinking it was part of the act. FML
Today, while playing on stage, the singer of my band swung his microphone around, straight into my face. I now have stitches above my right eye, and a job interview in three days. FML
Today, my band was playing its first serious gig. I was in the middle of a solo when a drunk guy tackled me, causing me to crash into the drums, breaking them and my guitar, hitting our drummer, knocking him out. FML
Today, I went to a local concert. The singer from my favorite band stage-dived and I got to catch him. Unfortunately I was the only one to catch him. The next thing I know I'm pinned between him and the concrete floor as he finishes whatever part of the song he was on. He was fine, I hit my head. FML
Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML
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Top comments
PlutoSA 0
That's the kind of story that ends in a couple of years with "and then she took everything. The house, the kids, the car, and my dog, Princeton."
northernlass 7
I got up from my bench and pushed her off the stage by her forehead. I didn't hear what song she requested; she was too drunk to get out the whole title. I had to threaten to break her nose with one of her designer shoes and her out of the club before she left me alone. I know I deserve it for not playing a cooler instrument. By the way - how are y'all's solo electric guitar/solo drum gigs going?
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Comments (55)
bromdrum 0
surely you'd just tell the bouncers to kick the idiot out. my coverband doesn't tolerate shit like that at our gigs!
Pooper_T_fml 0
Well, now I know to watch out for marauding drunks from Ohio.
Pooper_T_fml 0
...
sapphirestar 0
You should have "accidentally" use your mic stand to kick her away! haha!
BisFitty 7
YDI for not playing a cooler instrument
johnwwwwwww 0
ydi for playing a keyboard...
northernlass 7
I got up from my bench and pushed her off the stage by her forehead. I didn't hear what song she requested; she was too drunk to get out the whole title. I had to threaten to break her nose with one of her designer shoes and her out of the club before she left me alone. I know I deserve it for not playing a cooler instrument. By the way - how are y'all's solo electric guitar/solo drum gigs going?
anti_average 5
....damn! o_o'
haplp 0
well damn, you must be a really badass keyboard player
nycy 0
omg guys the actual op with the actually user name responded.. this is awesome and she told us what happened OP ftw
nerdsgetmehot 23
Dealing with drunken idiots is all part of the experience of playing in a club. It happens...
Ray_of_midnight 23
Yeah, sad but true. I used to run sound for a handful of bar bands in my college town back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and half my attention went to keeping idiots from spilling beer on the mixing desk. That said, being whacked in the face with a mic can cause semi-serious injury, busted teeth, etc....OP I hope you weren't hurt.
heyitsmeyay 0
hahahaahahahahahahah
LOLSWAT 0
too bad OP is not a dude, thats when u take her home and make her regret getting that wasted that night lol
capnbzarr 43
Are you implying that getting raped is an appropriate punishment for drunken trespassing? You must be some kind of misogynist psycho.
anti_average 5
They see me trollin'... They hatin'... In simpler terms: Obvious troll is obvious...and also successful in ^ this case.