Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She'd said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said, "Nah, it's just a generic face." FML
Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and say,s "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, I tried to secretly take a photo of a cute guy on the train. I forgot my flash was on. He looked straight at me, smirked, and said, “If you wanted my picture, you could’ve just asked.” I got off three stops early. FML
Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML
Today, on the crowded train, a cute guy called me over and told me to stand next to him because there were less people there. We started talking, but he left before I could get his number. Just when I was about to tell my friends about it, I find out that he stole my phone. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day. I woke up to find that I’d been drooling onto the shoulder of the stranger next to me for at least three stops. He said nothing, but when I stood up, there was a wet patch shaped like my face on his sleeve. FML
Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML
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Top comments
aKa_Bub0nic 0
Time for you to ketchup with the times and realize nobody licks their lips anymore to show signs of affection.
Kirashai 9
...Yeah, he could've just tapped your shoulder and told you like a normal person.
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Comments (235)
ImAStraightG 4
Lizzombie. nice pic.
allanalovesboots 0
YDI for thinking your hot enough. (:
surfergreeneyes 0
ydi for not knowing how to eat like a normal person
Gigglebear 9
YDI for being easy OP, and is that the most attention you've ever received from a guy? Delusional much?
Xirre 0
I'd be quite disturbed if a random stranger was licking his lips at me. You have strange ideas of flirting, OP.
te_amo_ily 0
MSG me if you know how to unblock someone on fml ... (:
tiffyxmac 0
this is stupid. he could of just told you. that was his fault cause how the hell would you know what he's trying to say? I'd think he was a creep..smh
myheartisbroken 2
.........all these poeple say that ur a itoit....i dnt fink so....its a bit funni but sadd .....im on ur side so ..f*** ther lifes lol :)
dingo353 0
It's completely and utterly safe to give someone who's licking his lips at you your tel number. I actually gave my number to someone who was licking his balls and smiling at me. This happens all the time. Right?
QueenDani 0
LMAO soo gross
NieLe 0
Haha, I could imagine that being akward. You go girl!