Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game, and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said, "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML
Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML
Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, my neighbor yelled “Fuck you!” at me through his window. My crime? Closing my front door “too loud.” This man lets his children beat on the walls and slam doors but apparently I’m the problem. FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me, even though I moved into my own flat to escape her. I told her 'my flat, my rules' so she tried to confiscate my Xbox because 'she’s the boss of me.' The look on her face as the cops took her away was worth the shouting match we’ll have when she makes bail. FML
Today, my mom got mad at me. She told me that the neighbor was stupid for letting their kids play all over the street alone. I said it was fine, because the mom walked right next to the daughter as she played on her scooter. She argued, “Why do you always have to disagree with me?” FML
Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML
Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML
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Top comments
jagex2121 4
Your neighbor is an asshole
Soniye 14
Call the cops on your neighbor for invading your privacy what right does your neighbor think they have ?! Spying on you like that
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Comments (76)
Ab5traktion_83 9
That's ******* crap. I was raised by a single mother. And I got crap for it too. You should put your neighbor in their place. Not all of us are privileged enough to have both parents and not all of us have the privilege of having help raising our kids. People like your neighbor would rather cause trouble than help out or mind their own damn business. Go over there and put your neighbor in their place.
KingreX32 21
I hate nosey people. Goodness.
hezzie1304 7
Your neighbors an idiot! Fyl op!
sietseld 13
okay, all the people saying the neighbor is nosy for interfering, isn't it better than someone's kids really being abused and nobody stepping in to stand up for the children? Too many people just turn the other way and hope somebody else will say something. I'm sorry to OP if this time it was driven by the neighbor's spite for you, but if there really is nothing bad happening then the police and child services will be able to tell, even if your children were confused at the time. Professionals can tell when a child is in trouble, and they also know that kids do say things like "yes, mommy was yelling at me" and it should be taken with a grain of salt.
JoseIsAdork 31
hope all is well op!! sorry you are dealing with that, your neighbor sounds very nosey and rude ×_× I know many single moms who do better then with both parents together. my mom is one of those people.
debie_fml 14
well at least you had fun
kuma32792 2
Step one) Shit in a brown paper bag. Step Two) Light said bag on fire. Step Three) Leave it on neighbors porch. Step four) Ring doorbell and walk away.
Bludmagnus 13
Sounds like a neighborhood meeting is the right place for calling that self-righteous piece of shit out.
doglover100 29
This reminds me of a movie that was based on a true story that I saw a while ago. A couple was accused of child abuse by their neighbor, but they never abused the kids. The police basically screamed at the kids and told them to say that the allegations were true. The kids were scared so they said that their parents abused them. The parents were in jail for 17 years before it was found that the allegations were false.
doglover100 29
Why do some people think adoption is selfish?